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klemjohansen

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Status Updates posted by klemjohansen

  1.  

    #porninthenews - "They're Cummin' For Our Guns" #guncontrol

     

  2. I think you're buying the wrong things. RT @perlapell The buzz you get from having things doesn't ever last bc things don't love you back.

  3. Happy New Year, Twitter. Oh, and by the way let me plug my crappy movie/album/standup gig #supersincere

  4. Tagg says Romney didn't want to be POTUS. That's OK, we didn't want him to be POTUS, either.

  5. NRA Demands 5 day waiting period before purchasing Just Dance 3 #NoWayNRA

  6. An analogy: "We will vote tonight to pass plan B" is to #fiscalcliff negotiations as "hey, y'all, watch this!" is to home movies.

  7. Did I just blow your mind? That depends. Is your mind a dandelion? An opportunity? #hashtag

  8. I wonder if Tom Petty ever acts spiteful in a trivial way. How would people describe it without sounding awkward?

  9. "That's great. It starts with an earthquake. Birds, snakes and airplanes." - Dec. 21, 2012

  10. Teachers packing heat? Let's see Rick Perry spend 1 day in a school like that. Time to put your stupid where your mouth is.

  11. The word for 2012 is "egosystem" n. a social network that offers an exaggerated impression of one's relevance (e.g. Twitter)

  12. Spokesman now says the @nra will finally comment when the nation's "days since a horrific mass shooting" calendar gets really high- 30 maybe

  13. Some say the church is out of touch (e.g. treating gay folks & women like dirt). But hey, the Pope is live-tweeting Sister Act II right now!

  14. Am I nuts or is Julie Hagerdy aging exceedingly well? I know those aren't mutually exclusive but you get the idea.

  15. Fun fact: 98% of the time when someone cites a statistic with "98%" in it, they're making it up.

  16. I'm not mad about Psy hating on Americans. I'm more angry about the weird face paint- fairly sure that's racist against gold people.

  17. hour 2 of the Cortez the Killer guitar solo from Rust Never Sleeps. I hope it never ends

  18. Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels in HD right now. I do not deserve this good fortune.

  19. A very special "Special Special Special," @mariabamfoo. Your parents are adorable.

  20. Eagleton, I am shaking my fist at you as hard as I can and making my angry face. Can you feel it? #ParksandRec

  21. Windows 8 - fool me 7 times shame on me.

  22. I just learned that Dr. Detroit doesn't have an actual doctorate, just an honorary one. I feel really let down now.

  23. Fox just said that California's schools are "on the bottom" in national rankings but they're in the middle of the pack. Fact check much?

  24. Tycho Brahe, history's most baller astronomer, is on today's Google News trending list. This is what hard work & a metal nose can do, kids

  25. Here's a tip. If you're making a lampshade from human skin- don't let the nipples show. #ahs

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