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therealjayknox

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Everything posted by therealjayknox

  1. therealjayknox

    LITERALLY a serious question

    I feel Jason M is not only much stronger physically but would have that 'finishing instinct' that Nick Cage lacks.
  2. therealjayknox

    In The Name of the King: Corrections

    Cambert, I also remember something about filming in Maple Ridge but my understanding is that plenty of movies shoot in different locations and even globally. Is it possible (If anyone knows?) a number of the outdoor scenes were in Greater Vancouver while maybe set scenes (or whatever) was done in Eastern Europe? And I don't know how they determine what the main official 'shot in' location but I would bet it depends on tax schemes.
  3. therealjayknox

    Episode 58 — In The Name of The King

    Okay, I made the mistake of seeing this even after seeing the trailer. Please let me explain my actions: - Seeing Burt Reynolds and all the tree jumping, I mistakenly over-estimated the film as some kind of Tarantino 'homage' to those kooky early 80s rock-opera/spaghetti sci-fi films like 'Hawk the Slayer' (Jack Palance rules) http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0080846/ Well no. It turns out it was a hacky Lord of the Rings kind of "What the hell is this trying to be or do?" film (see podcast), but, What made me laugh-snort coffee out my nose on this podcast was the fair warning about how many people seem to be jumping down from trees! I swear this is almost the only thing I remembered - this was a main battle strategy.. let's all get up in trees and when they wander in.. jump down! Even better if you can kinda spring roll and charge when you land! Also: -In Shakespearian or Theater English "Fahhhmer... You dare to bring thy sword against me?" - In New Jersey street corner english ".. eh.. what the hell else can a guy do?" Are they time travelers from different films? And yep I love stuff like... for no reason an Ork-thing is super clumsy and snorts and tromps around BUT somehow sneaks across a field to club an unsuspecting hero across the head. In broad daylight. And finally - yes the best explanation is that they had 3 days in Vancouver and 10 Stuntmen so they just did rotating shifts of 'spring from halfway up tree and generic sword fight'. Then just added hunks of this footage whenever and often.. and for too long. But yeah.. for me its not 'wonderfully bad' like a Birdemic so wow... hard to sit through this one.
  4. I'm about 6 months behind and finally got around to seeing this REALLY REALLY BAD MOVIE holy effing what a hunk of stupidity this thing was! It turns out this had a massive budget and every resource available including a cast that was experienced in the series and this stupid, senseless and unbelievably badly written crapfest was what they came up with? But yep.. it was a great HDTGM - so bad it was... well not 'good' but... there should be a word like ..what's that fun German word like Nachtplazzengazen. You somehow enjoy the fucking stupidity, poor choices and somehow start 'cheering' for more retarded edits, idiotic lines and bad acting. And it does seem like splitting open the Earth was mostly unhelpful for the good vampires. especially considering it happened apparently on top of a volcano or somewhere on earth where molten lava was a few hundred meters below the surface. I'm no Vulcanologist or magma expert but it would seem to me the snow would melt... and Washington State too. Sorry for the ramble but just walked away from this mind-retarding stupid movie. Still in shock. My post probably still better than this movie. Wow.
  5. therealjayknox

    Episode 56 — Nothing But Trouble

    And was Valri Bromfield as the Bailiff the inspiration for Frances McDormand's Cop in 'Fargo'? *Trivia - Valri and Dan Akroyd were a comedy duo in Canada. The internet tells me they were the duo 'Together'. But yes I also got the feeling this was an inspiration (or left-over set) for some Rob Zombie movies/music videos.
  6. therealjayknox

    Episode 56 — Nothing But Trouble

    Best question of the episode "are they supposed to be humans?" and we may never know. In this movie, a backstory would have the Judge taking a dump in the toxic pool and for no reason these two creatures were 'born'. Is it possible to say a single good thing about this movie? Maybe. It really was unique. I mean I still have no idea if this was a slasher horror, a bizarre 'camp' send-up or was trying to be serious or slapstick or what was this???? Seriously I feel unhappy after seeing this - and I just bounced from scene to scene. Digital Underground was in this. What the hell is going on.
  7. therealjayknox

    Episode 48 — Sleepaway Camp

    My head just imploded! Please for the love of bad movies, please get Jonathan Tierstan in and I defy him to explain this!
  8. Things that you picked up on some subconscious level but it takes HDTGM to fully realize and laugh at: The 'Jogging District' and its sweet location for all the jogging that will be involved in their lives. 'STOP... RESET! The weird racial nonsense. Although for the purpose of jamming in a collegiate wink - they missed the opportunity to name Pacino's character 'Natas Diabolocus' [you know at least one writer was pushing for that] The Jogging District had me floored
  9. therealjayknox

    Episode 54.5 — Minisode 54.5

    'The Devil's Advocate' is a perfect pick for a HDTGM and I actually consider this one of my all-time 'rewatchables'. It has some watchability factor that lets me get a kick out of it every 8-14 months when it just so happens to be on TV while I'm flicking around channels. Yeah..Pacino really goes full-on Hoo-Ya WhoA! and quite frankly Keanu + Pacino is somehow so retarded I dunno.. its like tard-magic goodness every time. 100% psyched for this!
  10. therealjayknox

    Episode 53.5 — Minisode 53.5

    Okay I am going to say this again - Sleepaway Camp is a motherfucking riddle of baffling proportions and I was one convinced that the original explanations couldn't work. Still waiting eagerly for 'Sleepaway Camp Revisted' with the guy from the movie (posted here a few times). and, Yes.. the sequels are bonkers but were not 'true sequels' as one of the guys here pointed out. Its that last one (by the same director) that is banana nutbars on crack!
  11. therealjayknox

    Episode 53 — Anaconda

    Holy Eff this was an instant classic! I remember when this came out I insisted I would not see it because "I don't think big cartoon CGI snakes are scary". Then we watched this and yep this and I remember a specific scene we replayed about 20 times - J-Lo getting up and turning around. For about 1.3 seconds her superbooty blew our minds. Now get this weird memory... ...I actually remember watching a movie guy on (i think Politically Incorrect?) talking about how the movie studio received some outrageous number of complaints that Jennifer Lopez's ass was NOT IN THE FILM. Apparently, they were still shooting 'waist up' as if she had a flaw. Oh man.. yeah Anaconda was just classic badness and I LOVED how someone considered what their 'Documentary' would actually look like as a DVD extra! Absolutely amazing classic HDTGM!! **btw ya.. i never did figure out.. like were they kidnapping them.. or using them as secret bait.. or WTF was the 'bad guys plan' with them?
  12. therealjayknox

    Episode 48.5 — Minisode 48.5

    I haven't listened to the Cobra episode yet (psyched) but I'm going to watch Cobra all over again - I vaguely recall it was absolutely ridiculous and the ultimate cheese-ball Stallone film. Awesome! Yes, totally agree its a moral obligation to have 'Ricky' on for Sleepaway Camp revisited and I'm still pushing for 'Return to Sleepaway Camp' which was also entirely bananas lol (still not sure if it was mocking itself or... was genuinely bananas)
  13. therealjayknox

    Episode 48 — Sleepaway Camp

    Okay yes because I was so shocked and baffled by that WTF 'baldies' line that I convinced myself I must have misheard it.. because there was NO WAY he just said that. No way was that in the movie. Yes it was. Now, I submit to the HDTGM courts exhibit A: Alleged scans of the 'shooting draft screenplay' opening scene. "A medium-sized lake in Upstate New York, Perimeter about 2 1/2 - 3 miles..." http://www.sleepawaycampfilms.com/scriptsc1.htm
  14. therealjayknox

    Episode 48 — Sleepaway Camp

    My hope and pleading request is that HDTGM please consider a 'Return to Sleepaway Camp' where they can give this film a well-deserved recap and them move on to: Return to Sleepaway Camp (same director) which is also just completely effing NUTS and is either just as bad/bonkers or is the most genius put-on ever. *hey uh.. was the camp called 'Sleepaway Camp' or is that an American name for any Summer Camp? Because in the movies I'm sure it has a different name and is never called 'Camp Sleepaway' .. oh man.. this thing is STILL doing my head in! Please.. Return to Sleepaway Camp!!
  15. therealjayknox

    Episode 48 — Sleepaway Camp

    Oh come on.. time to 'insta-snopes' this myth. 'Real Picture/Different context'. Those are pictures taken a full 8 months AFTER the release and surprise success of the film where they cast the first mould of the 'Angela Halloween Mask' for production. *duly noted: the pictures themselves show the actress approx a year older (significant time in puberty) AND you see the eyes of the halloween production mask, though pointing left are more centered. The original shows them far to the left. Myth busted!
  16. therealjayknox

    Episode 48 — Sleepaway Camp

    Can't be a mask. 1.It would be the most amazing life-like mask besting even the Madame Tussaud for fantastic human realism and I would suppose taking up 99% of the Sleepaway budget. 2. The film itself may not be a 'freeze frame' but the superimposed image seems to be a 'still' over top. 3. It just looks like a superimposed image. At one point you can see the image (face only) wash out with light independent of anything else. Even the 'fade-out' shows the 'face only' separate from the background wig. 4. It's not over-sized and this is why it cannot be a mask - in fact, the throat gives that away all the more. The college kid would require a tiny tiny little head. So small as to be a deformity. 5. and finally I submit - the actress really can open her jaw that wide. She does it in 'return' and can be seen opening her mouth that wide and wider in publicity photos too. And finally, the entire process is run by the spaghetti wires themselves. This I submit to the court of public trouncing derp derp!
  17. therealjayknox

    Episode 48 — Sleepaway Camp

    Okay I want to settle everything here: - We actually open with the 'present aftermath': An abandoned campsite, tragic 'funeral' music and one helluva over-turned garbage can. The 'screams of kids' are not 'present moment' but indicate screams that went on 'here'. It's as if we arrive at the devastated camp and ask 'what happened here??'. - The mom and dad brought their kids to the camp. The less-balder guy is just a camp counselor who happens to be minding the beach. He yells at some other camp counselors pulling a camper on water skis "here comes the dock". The brother and sister are injured. the girl dies but but the boy lives. - Now we go forward (but still in the past). the mom is now adopting a new child to replace her missing daughter. This kid is simply from an orphanage and lost his parents in a tragedy. Indicated by his rubber hat to protect his damaged brain. The boy was the only thing available. So she will turn him into 'Angela'. - The mom is bat-shit crazy because she lost her daughter at that campsite. Not only this but it turned out her husband was having a very romantic homosexual affair with the camp counselor - the very one who was there that day! Him and Dad should have SAVED the kids! - Add to that, her two children (before the accident) even caught the two men in their face-touching 'loving-eyes' bedtime spooning. It warped the children's minds and confused them that they had some incestuous affair with each other. Later one would be killed (by the very neglect of the dad and secret lover/camp counselor). - Dad and lover have run away to a condo together by the time 'replacement daughter' (newly adopted son) arrives. - 'Angela' (really the adopted boy) has essentially been raised by the mom to be their revenge against the camp site. The 'Vicarious Angela' and Ricky too. Ricky as a bodyguard, interference, distraction. - Mom is ready to unleash her revenge - for killing her daughter, for stealing her husband, she sends the powerful 'Angela 2.0' and demented Ricky to the camp to teach them all a lesson and destroy Camp Sleepaway for good! - Now, remember the 'ending' or 'present' was established as an abandoned camp where 'the screams of masses' and the overturned and unattended trash can tell us 'they all died'. There is 'nobody left'. How did we get to this present abomination? - The last scene (in the past) tells us - Angela 2.0 revealed her secret identity and unleashed her unlockable jaw and sonic scream! - Which, I assume was powered by a spaghetti robot, however, This, its implied is how she and the kitchen knife (along with Ricky) mass slaughtered everyone in the camp. At some point toppling a garbage can. We arrive back in the 'present' as the sun rises on the avenged campgrounds. Angela and Ricky have, presumably returned home to mother who revels in her successful revenge.
  18. therealjayknox

    Episode 48 — Sleepaway Camp

    Rhys, I don't claim to have your keenest of all eyes for detail but I would suggest that is not an amazing 'Angela Mask' but a 'special effect' where a still shot of Angela's face is superimposed over what is a man standing in the scene. But I strongly agree with your theory the body is not that of a 13 year old girl but that of a muscular and hairy grown man. (good observation!) and btw.. I'm not sure enough was said about the 'Angela Demon' which does appear to be a kind of 'werewolf' or 'demon' creature with horrifying hell shrieking powers. Supernatural yes?
  19. therealjayknox

    Episode 48 — Sleepaway Camp

    I understand your frustration. Especially if someone had not seen the film beforehand. One of the things I loved about the podcast was they each seemed to already have intimate love/hate and established 'explanations' for the film. When they come together, they start stepping us through their version/interpretations and retell the story as they go along. Somehow it didn't quite work this time Guest did not help any cause here either. Having said that, I was laughing out loud trying to figure out the bizarre relationships... who's the aunt.. is that the dad... who the hell died and who the hell is adopted and who left her? But, Yes, I see your point and I think there was so much crazy nonsense to be enjoyed past that and that might have been too hurried. 'Return to Sleepaway Camp'. I like to think I am quite good at spotting out put-ons. I cannot decide if 'Return' is just sincerely as crazy bad, or, Is the director (now older and aware of all the cult classic criticisms) deliberately making a bad movie?
  20. therealjayknox

    Submit your new HDTGM logo here!

    * Obviously, I am mashing up the awesome Curtingston 'lets all go to the movies' Caricatures and I think Peter absolutely nails the icon of the clapboard+question mark. [so clearly the credit here is those guys not me - I just thought they went together for ultimate greatness] * I wanted to put some Birdemic birds in the sky or the film reels at the side could have infamous stills inside them (Sleepaway Camp Angela Monster, Coathangers and my all-time favourite 'Spaghetti Robot') And btw... I seem to remember the Nicolas Rage shirts were an issue when it turns out 'someone' in Hollywood was a little litigious? So - is it better if a HDTGM icon does NOT have stills, images, icons, actors from the works themselves?
  21. therealjayknox

    Episode 47.5 — Minisode 47.5

    Old Black Janitor. At first, I supposed he would be the Scatman Caruthers of Sleepaway Camp and yet it seems like him and Fat Chef came as a pair and left as a pair? For some reason I just assumed Black Janitor was helping Chef rehabilitate back in the city. btw: It did seem weird that some characters would be 'introduced' as if seemingly important - only to become 'extras' or completely disappear from the film. Others seemed to be 'extras' but later would be somehow 'main characters'. I also feel this was an awkward fashion era. Somewhere just past denim and half-shirts but entering into velour tracksuits and oh the white dress shoes and black socks.
  22. therealjayknox

    Episode 47.5 — Minisode 47.5

    'Sleepaway Camp' might be one of the greatest bad movies I have ever seen - HDTGM gold! Right from the opening too. Here is what 'i think is happening' but maybe we are seeing the post-apocalyptic aftermath of the camps destruction? an audio of screaming masses (being killed?) as the camera walks us past the destruction.... which appears to be indicated by nothing else but a trash can overturned. What caused this..what happened that this camp has an overturned garbage can!?! Highlights: - Obviously black electrical tape moustache wins forever but also, - Wait.. were there two dudes in bed wait what?? - Anyone dies is met with horror. Then, immediately afterwards, all campers carry on as if nothing had happened and if anything become more relaxed, introduce more fun activities and take more evening walk-abouts. - Don't forget the first 'kill' when he fell off a ladder.. approx. 5 inches in the air. I mean.. he had to hold on for dear life because the 5 inch drop would have killed him. Also 'Scalding' guy wins permanent lifetime award for most prolonged screaming EVER. EVER. - So.. the boy had a rubber 'bandage helmet' on because.... why? Sorry.. if there was a reason why the 'little girl' orphan had a giant rubber hat I don't understand why? - All males constantly 'haranguing' each other, jovial degradation and to the point of bizarre comedy: "heya nice try", "you and what army", "yaaaa I bet you will!", "You wish loser!" "did your momma tell ya that loser!" and swatting, shoving, fake punching, this was the friends. - Half-shirts FTW! - A whole show could be done about Gramps McJewisholdman the campground owner. So he had a date with who? Was she a co-owner? She was about 25 and hes about 80. makes sense. - Was it just me or did 'Chico' or the original 'main camp counselor' half-shirt guy get replaced with Joey All-Pecs halfway through? - WAIT UP.. A candy bar wrapper... if I shine my flashlight on this wrapper and look closely at the ingredients or something... It will LEAD ME TO THE MISSING BOY.. who must be... according to this candy wrapper... That direction!.. yes here he is! - So her clearly girlish little body 'transforms' into a ripped muscle-bound 30 year old hairy-chested dudes body? Like a werewolf or something? - And something that most younger viewers will not appreciate (won't notice the difference) but if you are over 35 you probably notice how strange it was: When this genre of films was being made - foul language was actually NOT common and reserved for special moments like twice a film where the victim could say 'OH SHIT'. Sleepaway camp is just loaded with F-bombs and shit and fuck and I think there was a 'cunt' in there? Just anywhere. Anytime, you fuckin this and you fuckin that. This was really odd for the time lol! Greatest bad film EVER... I just absolutely loved the great badness of this. Cannot wait for the reviews!
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