Schnickpot

If babies are bald, why aren't they much, much older?

This sentence begins with the word "boat," contains one lie, and ends with the word "glass-bottomedness."

Thunder is my only friend but lightning is my gentleman.

There's something strange about your recent acquisition of all those gold bars. I think it's that they're shaped like famous apes from before earth was created.

No matter how many smart venus fly traps are born, no respectable optometrist will give them glasses.

Look out, a loud, powerful bout of foul, growling vowels is showering down sourly from the Dour Tower hourly!

I want to slap you face to face.

Who's a good little goddy? You are!! God, sit. SIT, god! SIT. Good god.

Left to their own devices, most termites chew Wooden Chew brand wood.

No matter how many smart venus fly traps are born, no respectable optometrist will give them glasses.

Even if there are simpler ways to chew on bread, nothing beats the classic method: teeth!

There's an apple in my tuba... Get it out!

Sell me a slipperier sailor suit, Susan, something I can simply slide off soon as I'm sick of sitting on the skiff and suddenly want to swim in the sea.

In the beginning was the Worm, and the Worm was with Bob, and the Worm was Bob.

Is your refrigerator running a fever? Better go catch it a cold before your food gets warm!

Thunder is my only friend but lightning is my gentleman.

If babies are bald, why aren't they much, much older?

I swat her, you swat her, we all swat her for ice water!

Her scream flowed freely, then its stream slowed nearly to a trickle, then it flickered back to icy silence, dotted by some coughing islands.

If you're trying to choose a new head, why not loosen the thistle-bred wheelbarrow listener instead?

Start spreading that sunscreen, because summer's less than nine months away, idiot.

Tell off the slothful hat-doffers as often as possibly lawful in this loathsome carnival raffle of awful options.

There's nothing in the rules that says a batter can't catch the baseball and raise it as his own.

Please leave early beliefs whirling beneath priestly robes feasting on loads of lowly pearly moisture hoisted over skiey roads in finely-woven codes.

They call it paper but I've never seen it issue a papal decree.