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Posts posted by Schnickpot
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Kel is ripping us apart over this outregis celery recipe, so please philb him in on our strict no-skepticism policy.
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Is your refrigerator running a fever? Better go catch it a cold before your food gets warm!
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Bats are so feathery, you could crack one of their eggs on the moving sidewalk.
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Hey God, replace the “three” key on your calculator with a Jesus emoji and the Holy Ghost will do the math.
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The glory of the guy who moves all penetrates the universe, shining in one part more and less in another.
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Tell off the slothful hat-doffers as often as possibly lawful in this loathsome carnival raffle of awful options.
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Lungfuls of sung pearls will soon be flung sullenly from one world to none.
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When life hands you potatoes, make lemonade.
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Sylvia Plath, I was taking a bath!
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How about some polka STRIPES, Your Highness?
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My pony has a confusing ponytail.
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The little boat of my genius now hoists its sail to run over better waters, leaving behind a sea so cruel.
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Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Give a man a coupon for free meals for life and you feed him for life.
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Please, just give me six hundred hints!
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Mozart may have invented the light bulb, but Thomas Basketball invented the Easter basket.
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Will they fit in there with their salad hats on?
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Please squeeze when ready.
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And so we vegetable again, Mister Disconnect.
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There are no punctuation marks in clown prison, Billy Winthrop.
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That’s all well and good, but how do you expect to recoup the tiny-umbrella cost‽
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Count down ten seconds for a minute and I’ll give you all your watches back.
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Make up your mind: tuba shoes or tuna sandals?
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Bread is nature's paper.
I still don’t exactly understand how scissors work.
in New Catchphrase Suggestions
Posted
I still don’t exactly understand how scissors work.