This sentence begins with the word "boat," contains one lie, and ends with the word "glass-bottomedness."

[This sentence begins with the word "boat," contains one lie, and ends with the word "glass-bottomedness."]

This sentence begins with the word "boat," contains one lie, and ends with the word "glass-bottomedness."

[Thunder is my only friend but lightning is my gentleman.]

Thunder is my only friend but lightning is my gentleman.

[There's something strange about your recent acquisition of all those gold bars. I think it's that they're shaped like famous apes from before earth was created.]

There's something strange about your recent acquisition of all those gold bars. I think it's that they're shaped like famous apes from before earth was created.

[No matter how many smart venus fly traps are born, no respectable optometrist will give them glasses.]

No matter how many smart venus fly traps are born, no respectable optometrist will give them glasses.

[Look out, a loud, powerful bout of foul, growling vowels is showering down sourly from the Dour Tower hourly!]

Look out, a loud, powerful bout of foul, growling vowels is showering down sourly from the Dour Tower hourly!

[I want to slap you face to face.]

I want to slap you face to face.

[Who's a good little goddy? You are!! God, sit. SIT, god! SIT. Good god.]

Who's a good little goddy? You are!! God, sit. SIT, god! SIT. Good god.

[Left to their own devices, most termites chew Wooden Chew brand wood.]

Left to their own devices, most termites chew Wooden Chew brand wood.

[No matter how many smart venus fly traps are born, no respectable optometrist will give them glasses.]

No matter how many smart venus fly traps are born, no respectable optometrist will give them glasses.

[Even if there are simpler ways to chew on bread, nothing beats the classic method: teeth!]

Even if there are simpler ways to chew on bread, nothing beats the classic method: teeth!

[There's an apple in my tuba... Get it out!]

There's an apple in my tuba... Get it out!

[Sell me a slipperier sailor suit, Susan, something I can simply slide off soon as I'm sick of sitting on the skiff and suddenly want to swim in the se]

Sell me a slipperier sailor suit, Susan, something I can simply slide off soon as I'm sick of sitting on the skiff and suddenly want to swim in the sea.

[In the beginning was the Worm, and the Worm was with Bob, and the Worm was Bob.]

In the beginning was the Worm, and the Worm was with Bob, and the Worm was Bob.

[Is your refrigerator running a fever? Better go catch it a cold before your food gets warm!]

Is your refrigerator running a fever? Better go catch it a cold before your food gets warm!

[Thunder is my only friend but lightning is my gentleman.]

Thunder is my only friend but lightning is my gentleman.

[If babies are bald, why aren't they much, much older?]

If babies are bald, why aren't they much, much older?

[How about a sundress for that smörgåsbord?]

How about a sundress for that smörgåsbord?

[I swat her, you swat her, we all swat her for ice water!]

I swat her, you swat her, we all swat her for ice water!

[Her scream flowed freely, then its stream slowed nearly to a trickle, then it flickered back to icy silence, dotted by some coughing islands.]

Her scream flowed freely, then its stream slowed nearly to a trickle, then it flickered back to icy silence, dotted by some coughing islands.

[If you're trying to choose a new head, why not loosen the thistle-bred wheelbarrow listener instead?]

If you're trying to choose a new head, why not loosen the thistle-bred wheelbarrow listener instead?

[Start spreading that sunscreen, because summer's less than nine months away, idiot.]

Start spreading that sunscreen, because summer's less than nine months away, idiot.

[Tell off the slothful hat-doffers as often as possibly lawful in this loathsome carnival raffle of awful options.]

Tell off the slothful hat-doffers as often as possibly lawful in this loathsome carnival raffle of awful options.

[There's nothing in the rules that says a batter can't catch the baseball and raise it as his own.]

There's nothing in the rules that says a batter can't catch the baseball and raise it as his own.

[Please leave early beliefs whirling beneath priestly robes feasting on loads of lowly pearly moisture hoisted over skiey roads in finely-woven codes.]

Please leave early beliefs whirling beneath priestly robes feasting on loads of lowly pearly moisture hoisted over skiey roads in finely-woven codes.

[They call it paper but I've never seen it issue a papal decree.]

They call it paper but I've never seen it issue a papal decree.