Colt

Hey, it's Colt. I posted the cannonball joke on page two. Remember? Well, anyway, after reading McGurl's forum guide (which I've been treating as a bible of sorts. And by that I mean I've hollowed out the inside of it to store a loaded gun) I've come under the impression that new posters are encouraged to share pictures of their grandfathers (gd's) and father's (d's, at it were). And so I will now participate in this tradition in order to further legitimize myself as a good commentator. This is my grandpa and I re-enacting our favorite scene from "Whiplash" (dir: Damien Chazevelle) at an Oscar party. "Not quite my tempo!" lol (But, seriously, he did throw a metal folding chair at my head. Greatest generation? more like meanest generation.) This is the only photo I have of my dad. We met at a Phoenix, AZ Hooters in 2009. P.S. My profile avatar (dir: James Cameron) is also of my grandpa. This time we're at a family reunion and he's planking on top of my cousin's stripped apart monster truck. So let the record show that I come from a long lineage of intelectuals and academia types.

Cannonball! (I write this because I've been wanting to "jump" into these forums for a while now, but wasn't exactly sure of how to make a big "splash" with my first "comment.")

Give a man a fish, he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish and you can charge an hourly rate for lessons.

We all know Dr. Dre's a great rapper, but how good is he at open-heart surgery?

I hate to be a party pooper, but uncontrollable bowel syndrome is no joke.

Well-behaved women rarely get murdered by the Kennedy's.

They say ignorance is bliss, but I don't know what either of those words mean.

I'd prefer the latter, but I'll settle for the former.

A co-worker recently said to me: "Surely, you must be excited be for the weekend." I said "I am. And thanks for referring to me by my real name. People usually mistake me for Tom."

I appreciate the clarification. I was confused when I heard your name called, but it makes sense now. Thanks.

It may be hypocritical of me to say, but I think hippos are really ugly.

If I were to win the lottery, the first thing I'd do is quit fantasizing about hypothetical situations.

For those of you disappointed about missing the Pawn Stars marathon last weekend, just remember that the History Channel always repeats itself.

Is it just me, or is our social security number 473-892-063-181?

No shirts? No shoes? This is the worst clothing store I've ever shopped at!

If my refrigerator ever stops running, I'll have no faith in excercise.

Now that summer is behind us, I’ll finally be able to tan the back of my arms.

With the high prices of gas, I think we'd be better off drinking water.

I have a dream every night, but nobody acknowledges my part in the civil rights movement.

I'd say liking geometry makes you a square, but I don't want to come off as a rudimentary angle.

Life is not a game, unless we're talking about the board game Life.

Is it just me, or did last night feel like only yesterday?

If I die tomorrow, remember that I could predict the future.

Thanks, man.

Follow your Heart, because you never know how many tours your favorite band will do.