EccentricHour

My walkie talkies arrived, but where is the share to Instagram button???

If you drive a minivan you're almost certainly a huge piece of shit.

Roger Ebert Hails Human Existence As 'A Triumph' http://t.co/FR60nVqr96 via @TheOnion

Roger Ebert was the best. #RIP

Your car either has acne or barnacles and neither is good, lady.

YUP Unstable Man Plots To Bring Guns To Schools http://t.co/2abHrzNjsE via @TheOnion

I cannot wait to retire from the government in a beautiful ceremony where everyone lies through their teeth.

"Holy shit the new Blackberry!" - no one

People really seem to hate April's Fool Day. Joke's on the holiday I guess.

Horrific injury video? Sign me the fuck up!

Shakin' that furniture liquidation sign like the end is nigh.

DC Metro turns 37 today. Sweaty, bloated, and irritable. Definitely 37.

Kim Jong-Un Comes Out In Support Of Gay Marriage: 'I'm Not A Monster' http://t.co/5MivCdzDzX via @TheOnion lolololololololol

There's no good way to say I'm enjoying playing Hitman: Absolution without ending up on a government watch list.

Jon Hamm's penis is a bit of an attention whore.

I think they mentioned that on 'Planet Earth' “@CNET: Every minute, 100,000 tweets are sent and 320 new Twitter accounts are created”

Reader is gone, but I think I love you #feedly

Drivers: you can turn without veering in the opposite direction first. No one has to die because curbs exist. Crazy I know.

We're at the point where if you buy a ticket on a Carnival cruise you immediately burst into flame.

Getting rid of Reader??! FUCK YOU @Google

Soooo great to see all these Catholics celebrating in ways that violate Catholicism!

The second you think about the lyrics to Bohemian Rhapsody your brain MUST finish the song.

Let's go to the Microsoft store and just crash.

iOS really, really doesn't want me to type the phrase 'bj'