schadenfreudian

Just had a hunk of blueberry-lemon coffee cake because I've pretty much already given up on today.

Jack Daniels is making a honey bourbon now, completely negating the reason to drink bourbon in the first place.

For the love of god, stop saying, "Happy Monday."

Game of Thrones season finale tonight. My body is ready.

Thanks to my son and YouTube, I now know that 3 is my limit on yodeling videos before nausea sets in.

I just want to remind everyone that the iTunes search functionality sucks a giant turd.

At this point, the only thing that might possibly salvage this stupid shitball waste of a day is listening to some metal... right now.

Kid A made it all day on one pair of underpants with no accidents. And I only had two, so it's been a banner day for the boys in our house.

This is at about 100 views right now. let's see where it is next week after it has the shit remixed out of it. http://t.co/PCa51zq0Na

Hooray! RT @pattonoswalt: Open a bottle of Chateau d'Yquem & crank the Goldberg Variations! @NBCHannibal renewed!

We're all gonna look pretty stupid if the electrical power grid fails and the only people prepared are steampunk cosplayers.

Your bow tie totally makes you look stylish, if by "stylish" you mean "a bipedal penis."

It's been a long morning. http://t.co/581cc6KYYj

Don't think of it as suppressing rage, think of it as creating an anger diamond.

Excited nerds give each other Pi fives.

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Official Trailer: http://t.co/3rFGlOLw1N via @youtube

Gonna have to skip Game of Thrones... Mannequin is on HBO Family and I like terrible crap.

Happy birthday, moms!

Progress on my toddler's musical taste: this morning he wanted to listen to David Bowie, so THAT's all going great.

Hey, middle aged people using current hip hop slang... it doesn't make you sound cool, it makes you sound creepy. #oldguyattheclub

For social networking, The Vision uses Phasebook. (Kitty Pryde's on it, too). #nerd

The live @BobsBurgersFOX show tonight was great, except for the awkward questions at the end. #frogbox #stillbaffled

Front row at the Neptune to see @BobsBurgersFOX live. #yayanuses!

Twitter's slogan should be "Twitter- a place for @ holes."

Archer and his mommy at Green Lake tonight, proving that Seattle is the beautifullest city in the world. http://t.co/smlM1xi80W