danpinto

Headlines don't sell papes. Newsies sell papes.

96 percent of the general population should not wear fedoras.

The more swords a man owns, the less likely he is of getting laid. This rule does not apply to ninjas or vikings.

Die Hard - Cleverness + the President = Olympus Has Fallen.

Five word sentences are cool.

Contrary to popular belief, I am not a ninja turtle. Even though I A) love pizza, am a ninja master and C) live in the sewer.

The two biggest hurdles against the legalization of gay marriage are religion and government. One of many reasons I oppose both.

A British author must escape a horde of Muslim extremists armed with nothing but a bike in: Premium Rushdie

I wonder if gay people think about straight sex as much as straight people seem to think about gay sex?

Aim for the moon cuz if you fail you'll likely drift aimlessly in space until you run out of food/water/oxygen and die a very painful death.

Get Rid Of Slimy girlS

Is she a good girl because she's crazy 'bout Elvis? Or is she a good girl AND she's crazy 'bout Elvis? We need answers, Petty!

Jedi in the streets, Sith in the sheets.

Maybe Tilda Swinton just doesn't own a bed?

I don't think Spring knows how to get sprung.

I know I'm late on this but, guys, Newsies is kinda great.

I'm trying to get over my bad music addiction. It's a dub step program.

Hinduism is all like "YOLO? Yeah, right."

People are complaining that the new JJ Abrams Star Trek is full of explosions. It's like they didn't watch the first JJ Abrams Star Trek.

I'm the exact right age for this shit. #LethalWeapon5

In Mulan, the song "A Girl Worth Fighting For" is sung by Mulan and her fellow soldiers but 2 of those soldiers are clearly gay.

I never watched 20th Century Fox's "Rio" but I assume it is a Duran Duran biopic featuring lots of birds.

If you contact me for work and your email ends with "Xx" or "420," I will not be working for you.

Girl, are you 31st American President Herbert Hoover, cuz dam.

I uninstalled instragram from my phone and, with that, gave up any dream of pursuing a career in photography.