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Andy Dick Cheney

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Posts posted by Andy Dick Cheney


  1. Hi Erin,

     

    My forum posts appear to have the momentum of a runaway freight train but my popcorn can be described as bleh.

     

    I think it's because in olden times my great, great grandfather, Rory, discovered popcorn when working the farm. He was delighted with his new invention. You see, times were hard for old Rory. He was up every morning at the crack of dawn. He'd milk the cows and plough the fields and pick the eggs. All he wanted was to pass on a better life to the generations that followed him. Legend has it that he'd tell his dear wife Gertrude "Gertie. I want to make it big in this obviously flat world. I want my great, great grandson, who'll probably be a really cool and sexy guy, to never want for anything. I want him to have the latest iPhone and not for him to be waiting until he's eligible for an upgrade."

     

    Then the nasty British imperialists came back from Boston one day and they were pissed. Their tea was sooo wet and they were gonna make someone pay. That someone turned out to be old Rory. They STOLE all his popcorn and his recipe and mass marketed it themselves and made buttloads of money and my family has been disgusted by the sight of popcorn ever since. Every POP is like a rusty bullet to the gut and I think that may be why my popcorn questions sometimes fall short of the mark.

     

    Anyway, my question is are movies good?

     

    ---------------------

     

    Here's my story in picture form for easiness:

     

    VHUuocO.jpg?1+ 36voyZq.png?1= glrEeos.png?2 BUT

     

     

    lkNEyke.jpg?1+ fynYePd.png?1= KFAdWkf.jpg?1

    • Like 12

  2. Well if you want her future you better forget her past. If you want to get with her you better make it last.

     

    Now don't go wasting her precious time. get your act together and you'll be just fine.

     

    She'll tell you what she wants what she really really wants so tell her what you want what you really really want.

     

    If you wanna be her lover though, you gotta get with her friends and make it last forever because friendship never ends.

     

    I could go on

     

     

    P.S Make SURE you Slam your body down and wind it all around.

    • Like 3

  3. As Hayes scanned the room he knew that this was no longer just his fight. He knew from the look on his amputee father’s face that war was inevitable. The anguished screams coming from his blind mama’s room reminded him of what his polio-ridden podcast colleague, Sean, implored of him. “Never give up on your dreams. Fulfill your fate and destroy the stranglehold Overlord SteveH has over this once great forum (cough)”. They were to be his last words. Brave Little Sean lost his battle against polio but Hayes wouldn’t stand aside and let his beloved Hollywood Handbook forum perish. With the games that were afoot in the morning, the family sat down for a meal to sate their hunger.

     

    CUT TO:

     

    Hayes ran through the urban wasteland into the arms of dreamy, smouldering Joe McGurl. Although Joe had mass appeal, non-threatening looks, he was a fearsome warrior. The only thing he loved more than his forum was a tearful goodbye to a loved one after sacrificing his life. They knew their paths could diverge after tonight so they shared one last, twilight soaked PG-13 kiss.

     

    “I AM NUMBER 4!!” screamed Hayes as hand held cameras shook all around him, cleverly avoiding all traces of the bloodshed of war. “Take that. And that! And one of THESE”. Bodies dropped all around him when out of nowhere BOOOOM, the unmistakable sound of canon fire. “NOOOOOO” howled Joe as he leapt in front of his paramour, absorbing the blow of the cannonball.

     

    Suddenly everyone except Hayes was out of focus and moving in slow motion. He crumpled at Joe’s side, what was left of his side anyway. “Promise me just one thing my beautiful Hayes. Promise me that you will fulfill your destiny and overthrow evil SteveH. I will always lov…..”. As he watched the life fade from his true love’s smoky blue eyes, Hayes slipped on his ridiculously overpriced Beats and pressed play on his iPhone. Only Coldplay could both comfort him and perfectly encapsulate how he was feeling right now.

     

    As the gravity of the situation hit Hayes, he knew what he had to do. He had to update his Facebook status. “Crappy day guys. Joe is so dead and civilization as we know it is on the brink. #RIPJoe.” Once he clicked “Post Status” he immediately set his sights on revenge. He grabbed his treasured EMMY® and charged bravely back onto the battlefield.

     

    “Destroy him!!” yelled General SteveH from his copper throne overlooking the theatre of war. For some reason he knew that this young, sexy hero was the only thing that stood in the way of his quest for complete control of the forum. He loved dystopias and couldn’t wait to run the rule over his very own. With the sun setting beautifully over the bloodshed, SteveH knew his Instagram followers would love some artful shots. Maybe he could get more “likes” than his previous best picture, a selfie with the corpse of Valerie Bryant. Out to war he strode with his Glock in one hand, his phone set to portrait mode in the other.

     

    Watching all this unfold, Hayes was reminded of what his dear friend, devscoots, once told him over drinks at the now defunct Viper Room. “Look, if you had one shot, or one opportunity, to seize everything you ever wanted. One moment. Would you capture it or just let it slip?” His palms were sweaty. He could feel his knees weaken and his arms were heavy. It was time to snap back to reality.

     

    He raced towards his hated rival, dodging bullet after bullet from SteveH’s diamond encrusted Glock. With one ferocious swing of his EMMY®, he took SteveH’s head clean off his broad shoulders. War was finally over and peace now reigned over the land. In the corner, JMonsterface thanked every single combatant. The final installment of Hayes’ quest had been particularly difficult as it was split into two parts to maximize profitability. He thought about all he had lost. His friends, Joe, his virginity, Anastasia, Mean Detective, Chefski, honlads, Dixon, Jakal, Andrew, Tim Treese, CORPSEFUCKER SHITLORD, greggy, bozos, spunky, the rest of the Popcorn Gallery, his car keys and, of course, his precious podcast colleague, Sean Clements.

     

    He was indifferent to the death of Chanson.

     

    Hayes was now trending worldwide which was all he had ever hoped for. As dawn was breaking he wept one solitary tear of hope and joy and sadness and promise and intrigue and desire and ambition and expectation and hunger and pain. It was a fucking big tear. All that was left to do now was wait for that teasing post credit sequence.

    THE END

     

     

     

     

     

     

    • Like 24

  4. I was pretty bored yesterday at work so I decided to start my Show Show relisten and I also made a dubstep ode to mass:

     

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ul-P3tAuSNs

     

    I had a good ol laugh to myself. The church better watch out cause I'm on to them.

     

    As far as this week's episode goes, I thought it was lovely. Tuesday used to be such a nothing day but now it's up there with the truly great days of the week. You know the ones. Yep. Them's the ones. The first and second ones you thought of. Sweet days. Tuesday is neck and neck with them now.

    • Like 11

  5. ADC, are you a fan of it then?

     

     

    From Dictionary.com:

     

    Definition of FAN

     

     

    1

    : an enthusiastic devotee (as of a sport or a performing art) usually as a spectator

     

    2

    : an ardent admirer or enthusiast (as of a celebrity or a pursuit) <science-fiction fans>

     

    ------------------

    noun

     

     

    1.

    any device for producing a current of air by the movement of a broad surface or a number of such surfaces.

    2.

    an implement of feathers, leaves, paper, cloth, etc., often in the shape of a long triangle or of a semicircle, for waving lightly in the hand to create a cooling current of air about a person:

    We sat on the veranda, cooling ourselves with palm-leaf fans.

    3.

    anything resembling such an implement, as the tail of a bird.

    4.

    any of various devices consisting essentially of a series of radiating vanes or blades attached to and revolving with a central hublike portion to produce a current of air:

    ceiling fan; wall fan.

    5.

    a series of revolving blades supplying air for winnowing or cleaning grain.

    6.

    Horology, fly1(def 28).

    7.

    a semicircular decoration of bunting. verb (used with object), fanned, fanning.

    9.

    to move or agitate (the air) with or as if with a fan.

    10.

    to cause air to blow upon, as from a fan; cool or refresh with or as if with a fan:

    He fanned his face with a newspaper.

    11.

    to stir to activity with or as if with a fan:

    to fan a flame; to fan emotions.

    12.

    (of a breeze, current of air, etc.) to blow upon, as if driven by a fan:

    A cool breeze fanned the shore.

    13.

    to spread out like a fan:

    The dealer fanned the cards.

    14.

    Informal. to move (oneself) quickly:

    You'll fan your tail out of here if you know what's good for you.

    15.

    Agriculture. to winnow, especially by an artificial current of air. verb (used without object), fanned, fanning.

    18.

    to strike, swing, or brush lightly at something.

    19.

    Western U.S. (chiefly cowboy use) . to slap the flanks of (a horse or other animal) repeatedly with a hat to get it to move or move faster.

    20.

    to spread out like a fan (often followed by out):

    The forest fire fanned out in all directions.

    21.

    Baseball. (of a batter) to strike out, usually by swinging at and missing the pitch charged as the third strike. Idioms

    22.

    hit the fan, Slang. to become suddenly more awkward, embarrassing, or troublesome:

    When news of the incident was leaked to the press, everything hit the fan at once.

     

    I'm not sure any of these definitions can quite sum up how anyone feels about the Television show "Entourage".

     

     

     

    P.S: Congrats on photo.jpg?sz=50 posts

    • Like 9

  6. You're supposed to love it.

     

    You got babes, famous people, cursing, sunshine, Jane's Addiction, Homophobia, drugs, hi jinx, no consequences, a DARK season, porn stars, the guy from Full House, Golf, 8 seasons, a brothers before whores camaraderie, weight loss, studs, gary busey being craaaaaaazy, sweet rides, private jets, cannes, holly Valance, a beautiful "will they won't they" featuring E, laughs, HOllywood, Aquaman, Smoke Jumpers, MARK WAHLBERG, strong female characters, ARI, Mark CUban, SCOTT CANN'S FOREHEAD, blackouts, a visit to Jimmy Kimmel, Frank Darabont, Calling out Seth Rogen, Lebron, Racism, Japanese Commercials, XBox, Weed, Mandy Moore, Meadow Soprano and Turtle (AND IN REAL LIFE!!!), top drawer acting, James Cameron, I AM QUEENS BOULEVARD, Brett Ratner, Seth Green, BILLY WALSH (GENIUS), Larry David!!!!, Matt Damon using bad words, Medellin, Stunts, Lost In The Clouds, Matterhorn, Vince as the Ramones, The Beach, Rodeo Drive, Sloan, Malin Akerman, Viking Quest, Skype, FIVE TOWNS, Ed Burns, Aaron Sorkin, What's it gonna be cause I can't pretend, Dontcha wanna be more than just friends? hold me tight and don't let go (Don't let Go), Tequila, A fight with Eminem, Johnny Bananas, DICE, A fake Harvey Weinstein. Tensions, Beverly D'Angelo, Gus Van Sant, Butt Stuff,

    , Bling, still reading?, International Syndication, Nike Shoes, An NFL franchise, Ferrari, Gary Cole as a loser, Saigon doing rapping, Martin Scorsese, Phil Mickelson doing golf, Kill me, Dreamy Adrian Grenier, Their mammys, "HUG IT OUT, BITCH!!", The Valley, HBO, Mrs. Ari, Paul Haggis, Boxing, All work and no play make ADC a dull boy, Ronda Rousey, Jeffrey Tambor, Studio politics, Rehab, Jessica Alba, Product Placement, Chuck Liddel, A dog, Bobby Flay, a Bat mitzvah, Drama cooking, misogyny, I wanna be your superhero

     

    I'm probably forgetting a lot.

     

    VINCE - E - TURTLE - DRAMA - ARI

     

    The New Original Rat Pack

     

    article-2502196-195C018900000578-96_634x347.jpg

    • Like 14

  7. Dear Joe. We love you so much. Have a wonderful day.

     

    Everybody over here is Bono's best friend so we got him to record this just for you. Judging by how horrible it is I presume he recorded a "Joke" version :

     

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gwKIC4AK-s8

     

    Also Oasis are great and so are you. These weird images came up when searching "Oasis Birthday"

     

    Cake_068_Liam_Oasis_Blackpool_FC.jpg

     

    472217033_tp.jpg

     

    $T2eC16ZHJHEE9ny2sYejBRWVnCDjP!~~60_35.JPG

     

    This last one came up under the same search. I truly don't know why:

     

    h5Y0zY6.jpg?1

     

    It's Mickey Rourke as a female bodybuilder. A future guest maybe?

    • Like 18
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