chanson

Hey, Swedish forum community, yeah, I'm talking to you. First of all, Talk English. This is AMERICA, not Europe!!!!! Second of all, your commie ass free healthcare government get you free BK hot dogs? No? Oh, well maybe get some democracy and vote for the king... of burgers. And then have him get you some of his hot dogs. FREEDOM!

One time I was Jeffrey's Dad and that was scary but now I'm not anymore and that's better for me, I think.

Six? Edit: Oh no this is too many

It feels wrong only doing four posts and not five

And to the rest of you, Hey, what's up? It's been a while. Everything going well? Great! Glad to hear it. Love, Chanson

Dear Jack Johnson P.I. (I bet you aren't even a licensed private investigator...) My post is always first. It doesn't matter if you think you got there first and it looks like you did and yours shows up first. Mine was still first. Hope that clears up any confusion. And no, I will not suck it no matter how nicely you ask.

PS - First!

Once again, I don't know what's happening but I like it. ...Or don't like it? I don't really know.

See Above

It's okay, Samoans are cool, it's the retired blue-collar Lutherans that piss me off... HOW IS EVERYONE HERE A LUTHERAN? AND WHY DO THEY TELL YOU THEY'RE LUTHERAN WHEN THEY SEE YOU WALKING YOUR DOG DOWN THE STREET? THIS IS A CRAZY WEIRD PLACE! It's like having a neighborhood full of poorly educated Garrison Keillors.

BECAUSE THE ONE NEAR ME ISNT OPEN 24 HOURS AND ITS SO SHITTY IT DOESNT EVEN DESERVE TO BE CALLED A QFC ITS AN OUTRAGE!!!!!! My only hope is that they bulldoze my annoying neighbors' houses and build a Metropolitan Market there, but I don't think that their target demographic is Samoan people and retired blue-collar Lutherans, so I don't think it's gonna happen.

I went to Safeway tonight and NOT ALBERTSONS! YOU HEAR THAT YOU CROOKS?! FUCK ALBERTSONS! I know Albertsons and Safeway are the same company now, thank you. Moral of the story, Fred Meyer should be open 24 hours so I don't have to drive all the way to Graham to get groceries at 1 in the morning when I do my shopping! FUCKING GRAHAM! You believe this shit? People in Gig Harbor don't have to drive all the way to fucking Graham... Just because they're fancier than us? Yeah, that's definitely why. Unbelievable... CANNOT WAIT UNTIL THIS NEIGHBORHOOD GETS GENTRIFIED. Then I'll have so many grocery stores open 24 hours I won't even know which one to pick, just like those assholes in Gig Harbor. FUCK (written under the influence of a lot of Coke Zero)

Fuck You, Jack.

PS - my bros know all about not liking to talk about hugging and kissing amiright? Fucking gross, bros. Hayes and Sean know.

Maria Thayer should come back to do the whatup whatup next week too.

Happy Birthday, RanRan!

Guest: What do I do for Valentine's day if someone on a podcast said stuff about me being into my dog inappropriately an now no one will date me? What if I want to marry my dog but not in a gross way?

Brandon Gardner... Brandon Content... Coincidence? Probably.

I am enjoying this new, more manageable pace of posting because it fits my fast-paced lifestyle of professional misogyny and frequent boating.

Devscoots is so popular rn

Dixon isn't even real.

Common misconception

C'mon now... Really? Compliments? To Chickn? For his lazy bullshit? CANADIANS? ON BOATS? HELLO!?!? I'M A CANADIAN WHO LIKES TO GO ON BOATS!!!!! HE STOLE THIS CONCEPT!!!! HE'S A FRAUD!

Hmmmmm Canadian on a boat... reminds me of someone.

Yes. It gets worse.