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Posts posted by chanson

  1. Here's the thing Sean Clements. August 4th is my cousin, Allison's birthday and she lives in Bellingham and I didn't even go and visit her for her 21st birthday because I was too busy hanging out with Bruce Reid Robinson II's dog, Rose, in Bend, Oregon. So... I guess what I'm saying is cheer up, snowflake, you made friendship happen.

    • Like 10

  2. Hi Hayes and Sean (in no particular order) please get this letter to our friend Ira Glass. It's VERY IMPORTANT.




    Dear Ira Glass,


    Hi, it's your old pal Chanson. You don't know me but I live on this very normal island and we ALSO have a thing in a tree, but it's not people; it's a bike. Also nobody vaccinates their kids and it's fucking insane. You know, normal. Please do a show about us, literally everyone would freak the fuck out, they all think you're God (you know, like, in the way that everyone is "spiritual" but like hate organized religion, but most people probably say they're Buddhist. See? Normal American small town/island.) Okay see you when you come do the This Normal America Show.


    PS - Tell Chana Joffe-Walt I say "'sup." She'll know what it means.


    K thanks love you,



    • Like 11

  3. Cochran is kind of a hero of mine. I actually applied to Survivor this year for the sole purpose of winning and then getting my own HH episode and then having fan favorite (or favorite fan) Chanson say something nice about me on the forums. Right now I'm still three steps away from that end goal.


    Fabio's Socks, I will say nice things about you anytime you want, you old so-and-so. Here are several nice things about you: you're my friend and I like you a lot because of how good you are at being awesome! I think you're good at biology and spelling and proficient with Microsoft Power Point.

    • Like 7

  4. Hi Hayes,


    I didn't make you a video. I'm sorry about that.


    Actually, you know what? I'm not sorry. I'm sick of apologizing to people for this shit. I've been busy all goddamn day, I don't have time to be making a video. I had to ride on two different boats today.


    Some birthday advice for you: time is money, eat a lemon.





    Best Regards,

    Chanson Kinney



    (206) 883-4904


    sent from my iPhone


    "live, laugh, love" -anonymous

    • Like 18

  5. Honestly, I think these forums are rigged against me. However, you could make the argument that this state of victimization actually puts me in a future position of power where I will be allowed to unleash unmitigated cruelty on all of you in the name of retribution and restoring the proper societal balance. So in that sense, my loss today is my gain tomorrow.




    *Is immediately crowned god-king and leader of r/TheRedPill by tens of thousands of angry, pasty shut-ins*

    • Like 16

  6. Hey guys,


    Turns out I'm actually Cecil the Lion now, he took over my body and now the lion is me and we're the same now, so Hayes you don't have to cry. Rar grrr okay I speak human english talk now, wow humans speach is amazing etc etc... okay on to the imporant things: I will confirm that I did want to chase a thing and lie down and take a big sleepy, and it's true I did want to consider climbing a tree although I still haven't decided whether or not that's something that I'm actually interested in pursuing at this point in time but I am keeping my options open without actually committing to whether or not I want to climb the tree. One correction though, Don Fanelli met ME at a party, I did not meet him. This is very important. He comes up to me and talks to me about soda and I'm like... "okay, sure, Don Fanelli of the improv team Fuck That Shit and also The Chris Gethard Show, whose work I admire and respect, but whose podcast I was not aware of until now but at the same time am not surprised about considering your friendship with notable soda-head Chris Gethard, I'll do your podcast rar grrr lion lion maul an impala rarrr shake my mane."


    So now you know how that went. Fun.



    Cecil the Lion who is also your best friend Chanson, we're the same, I am him, he is me, souls are weird, don't question it.

    • Like 12