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About JordanMaywood

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  1. In the inevitable "Howard the Duck" remake how many minutes in before a "duck face" photo joke?
  2. Stuffed Doomsday Preppers are delicious, nutritious and bootylicious.
  3. Does "Axe-Wielding" count as one word I can use when describing myself...?
  4. On the road again. Fell out of my car because of my vertigo mixed with narcolepsy... road again.
  5. "Mmeettaa" is when you are being VERY Meta.
  6. Yo' Mama so old she plays telegram tag!
  7. Mayday Mayday! The name of Grace Jones's character in the James Bond film "A View To A Kill" is Mayday!
  8. From Maximum Overdrive to Minimum Underdrive there's no place like home...Except the bathroom aboard an atomic submarine!
  9. You take the good, You take the bad, you take them both and there you have. Data Analytics & Probability curves.
  10. If you want to be the toast of the town you need a lot of bread and a toaster and a town that loves toast to an unusual degree...
  11. Rolled up phone books make great logs but making a cabin out of them is not recommended for any but true phonefessionals.
  12. My silk boxer shorts slide sensually up and down the sides of the ball pit in the cool august eve...
  13. The tongue is the strongest muscle in the Female body. Sometimes the top two strongest... *WINK*
  14. Your never truly disappointed until you are Kevin Sorbo disappointed...
  15. Whichever store in the Target chain of stores that makes the least amount of money in a given year should have to change its name to "Target Practice"