Joven

I had nothing better to do, so I quick cut together a sample for the Quiptracks rifftrax for this movie https://vimeo.com/158770733 Also, thinking about the flying Hummer driving off the cliff just brought to mind the shitty Dragon Ball: Evolution movie, also a good Quiptracks riff available for that too. Another thing I remembered, did they mention in the episode about how wannabe Draco thought the best way to hit on the blonde girl was to tell her how much she reminded him of his grandmother?

Something that just kinda thought of, relating to how they were expecting a "we're stronger together, power of friendship" thing. So it took all of them at once using their power to make the Hummer fly...but Caleb on his own and seemingly on a whim or as an immediate reaction was able to instantly disintegrate and reassemble himself and a car, which I would think would have been quite a bit harder to do. Was Tyler just such a useless load he weighed the whole thing down too much for any one witch to lift?

Well they also landed right next to the cops so they could laugh at them. They even turned the interior lights on in the Hummer so that the cops could see their faces easier, and with the license plate in clear view. Luckily the cops are worse cops than they are witches and never try and track them down.

Kinda on the subject of bad CG and stuff, something I've noticed all the times I watched this is the scene where Chase is magically teleporting the blonde girl from the doorway to the bed...is it just me or is that like straight up amateur hour effects? Chase sits on the bed holding a Ghost Rider-style exaggerated point at Caleb that looks like hes trying to hold very still in fast motion. Also the ending is basically saying that our hero is going to be old in no time. Like, he's ascended now so its full on 'every use of your powers will age you' time, but he still wastes it fixing his windshield (like they said, in public no less)...like, you're rich dummy, maybe not burn your life away fixing something that insurance or 500 bucks would take care of? He's clearly full on addicted by the end, despite all the grand statements he wouldn't be throughout the movie. I guess the sequel would just be him strung out on power juice, thinking Chase was onto something and hunting down the other Ipswich dipshit witches to get their power too.

I like that they gave Tyler all the discussion he deserved. So about Nicky's, they asked if there were any older people there and there was. For about a half second an elderly man is shown grooving to a funky beat, and then when the camera angle changes to follow Pogue on his journey back from the bar he's mysteriously vanished. Also speaking of vanishings inside Nicky's, the food that Pogue has just purchased there vanishes completely between the time he goes from the ghost of boogies past to the foosball table to meet up with the other guys.

This movie is excellent, its basically June Cleaver cleaving people. This movie has everything: such as acting that would be right at home on a MadTV sketch parodying a 50s sitcom Jimmy Olsen from the Lois and Clark Adventures as the cool kid In a movie about a serial killer, Matthew Lillard is going full on Cereal Killer Ricki Lake as the super horny daughter and some great lines, like "fuckin' Don Knotts, he's the coolest!" and Also this movie posits that being a serial killer is a great way to be popular and famous, like when Jimmy Olsen gets killed on stage in the club from Hobgoblins while The Camel Toes are playing, everyone seems super onboard with it and chants her name like they want an encore.

Speaking of a sequel, I'll go head on and copy what I posted in the recommendations thread for this movie . Since a sequel is unlikely to happen, the best fanfic author ever (best author ever maybe), Hans Von Hozel wrote a bit of fanfic to help continue the story. It gets pretty dark. ----- All the Covenants wanted to use on their powers. "When we use our powers!" say the Covenants, "It makes a drugs!" And so the Covenants used their powers. They made a happy danube in the sky. The people saw the Covenants happy powers, and wanted to make a using of these. "WE WANT YOUR POWERS ALSO!" say the people, and they go Covenant hunting! The Covenants hide in a castle, but the people knocked down the roof and a splat. "Oh no!" say the people, "We have crush Covenants and now not powers for us!!!!" The people made a sadly. They had destroyed all powers.

The ending fight was so annoying/confusing, its just 2 bobo Jensen Ackles blowing bubbles at each other. Basically except for the Draco Malfoy wannabe and the lead singer of the Pogues, they're all the same guy.

My initial thoughts are 1. it feels too jokey, maybe its just the nature of trailers cutting stuff out of context but it feels a lot less subtle of a comedy than the first Ghostbusters, like they don't trust people to get its a comedy moment unless theres a big neon sign saying THIS IS A JOKE, YOU MAY LAUGH NOW. 2. Is this a reboot? A sequel? what? admittedly I haven't looked into it, but the trailer is way less than clear to me. Like theres shades of an origin story, but the opening text talked about the first one. I thought at first this was going to be like a Ghostbusters Inc. kinda thing, but then again I guess not? 3. Im not really digging the performances, or the writing. Like I think the "power of patty compels you! *2nd slap*" scene could have been a good funny moment, but the "thats gonna leave a mark" line and how she says it just grates on me for some reason. Guess it kinda goes back to how it doesnt feel all that subtle on its comedy. Take for instance a good movie, when the Ipswich Dipshits burn their souls a little to magically flip up a woman's skirt its played classy and understated, you can really feel like those are real people you would find in a bar sexually harassing girls.

Need something else to make this movie go down smoother? Grease up your face with:

omg yes, for anyone into MST3K, this movie has an excellent rifftrax for it by Quiptracks, I've seen this movie so many times thanks to it.

Kettles in glass houses shouldn't look in the mirror, or something.

and the in-depth cartography employed:

So much action, so much awesome, so much mom jeans and so much awesome. This movie has everything. Car chases? Its got it. Motorcycles busting through walls? check. Guys eating live lizards for no reason? sure, why not. All kinds of weapons? including flamethrowers, rakes, oscillating fans, and the villainous Greg Rainmaker's signature...shoes with cleats! Its got them. Mr T? ... well, not quite, but its got what can best be described as The Indonesian Mr T Experience, not Mr T, but the 5th next best thing. This is the quality of action you're getting when you roll with The Stabilizer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8hE5kliYUY0 Seriously, do yourself a favor and randomly put a framed picture of yourself on top of your TV and watch The Stabilizer. Its on Netflix streaming, (and youtube) [and if you want someone to watch it with you, you can check out Gymkommentary]

So since the images from my other post died, I figure I might as well post again the fashion of The Stabilizer:

They'll never do it, only losers would make a show about that.

No, he definitely dies without reason. By that time he is effectively omnipotent-Jedi-Jesus-jewfro, he's already shown he can basically bring people back from the dead, or near death, and could easily magic himself a cure to his little arm injury (thats his 'mortal' wound btw, he takes a glancing blow to the arm in the fight with a couple robots, then just decides hes dead.)

http://forum.earwolf.com/topic/3330-starcrash/page__hl__starcrash I'm pretty sure that guy never pretends to be a robot, they always refer to him as an alien. And dang, just noticed my 'redneck darth vader' image went away, so gotta put that back.

The main thing that got me about that part was that he said "hot cup of chocolate", and not "cup of hot chocolate" Also, one of Kazaam's lyrics references Ben and Jerry-al to keep his rhyme scheme going, that just stuck out to me as infinitely stupid.

And Da Brat, Kazaam and Glitter.

A movie with Jack Thompson as the good guy, a BBC "docudrama" about Grand Theft Auto. Did you know GTA Vice City and San Andreas were basically solely the work of Harry Potter, who had a few helpers who did nothing but play ping pong with him and spun around like hackers in a phone booth? Also when you play GTA or mod a game you also spin around a lot. Guys, GTA is dangerous with all this spinning that happens, why didn't Jack Thompson ever bring that aspect up? Did you know that everyone at Rockstar really actually gave a shit about what Jack Thompson said and did? They talked about him more than the Hogwarts people talk about Voldemort, and in as fearful a tone. With CGI work worse than an in-engine cutscene from GTA 3, cheesy dialog, and no real knowledge of the very cases its supposed to be about or the people involved, this movie is a great telling of a story with no real point, or even really side taken or advanced in the end.

And a bit of a "second opinion" from the IMDB user ratings.

So are we posting shitty christmas songs, or good ones? Here's a right merry one, anyway.

Is that the workout that Skeezy McCreepdouche is watching at the beginning of Friday the 13th Part 4? Or was the "lady butt triangle bending over in a white void" a staple of workout videos around that time?