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Joven

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Everything posted by Joven

  1. As long as one of the words you're searching for is less than 4 it will return that error (just checked by searching "master of disguise" and "master disguise". second worked, first didn't.) Personally I give everything a search, and since I only kinda trust it, will then arrange the forum in alphabetical order (hit Custom on the line with Recently Updated, Start Date, etc [between the top most forum post and the page selector]) and go to where it should be and see if its listed. Not perfect since people can name them weird, but for the most part does ok.
  2. Joven

    The Wizard (1989)

    OK, so I had to pause the movie to post this, in the scene where the 'child bounty hunter'/'child abductor' is being stopped by the trucks after kidnapping the kid, there's a certain friend we might all know, one that's no stranger to child abduction and high stakes competitions located across state lines that minors have to endanger themselves to get to in the nick of time. The video game tournament was not double elimination though.
  3. Joven

    Ben & Arthur

    Well opening a porn store is a difficult undertaking, there's supply side issues, zoning issues, advertising and an increasingly shrinking marketplace in a world going digital. It's not just a quick and easy thing, which is why it was such a prominent and constant struggle that informed his character...by that I mean in one scene he says he wants to do it, and then another scene his brother says he did even though we never see it or any indication that it either happened or is in the process of happening. Maybe he should have stuck to stripping, those were some hot moves he busted out at that audition.
  4. Joven

    Ben & Arthur

    When I saw the tape and him messing with the door I thought he was going to rig up a needle that would inject it whenever he opened the door, ala urban legends of aidsy gas station pumps. But no, its basically a magical gay-to-straight 'light grenade', except even less effective since it doesn't even have "drink me" written on it. This movie does has some pretty great tantrums. Also its not just him, basically everyone in this movie is one stubbed toe away from a 5 minute hissy fit, and a passive aggressive note about purchased cream cheese fat content from a murder at all times.
  5. Joven

    Ben & Arthur

    No no, the dinner was just to try and convince him to become straight. The holy water potion (literally called a potion in the movie) was what was meant to change him forcefully with the Magic of Jesus. The brilliant plan to trick his brother into drinking it...was to put it in a little plastic bottle and tape it to the outside of his door. Because I know the first thing I think when I see a strange bottle of liquid taped to my door is "I gotta ingest that post haste!" And in a move that shows what a great movie maker was behind this, with no context clues or information presented other than 'heres a weird bottle taped to my door', he is instantly able to tell what it is, what it is supposed to do, and who put it there. Another great part about that is how indignant and unbelieving the brother is that his foolproof plan didn't work. Its definitely got the parking shots down.
  6. Joven

    EPISODE 124 - Hackers

    Damn, Cereal is such a legit hacker they even broke the boundaries of the fourth wall and consulted with him about it. Yo, no wonder he feels like god at the end.
  7. Joven

    EPISODE 124 - Hackers

    Just a few corrections: Its not "the internet" that they are in and representing with the city computer, its a single computer system (the Gibson). The light emanating in the dark wasn't from a modem, it was from a laptop which had a modem, they were impressed that it had a 28.8kbps modem, which goes to show how slow their other ones must have been. It wasn't a body suit in Angelina's dream that Dade was wearing, it was a dress. Because of the bet, she was imagining it and seemingly way into it. The green snack (some kind of sour licorice rope is what i would think) didn't happen in the middle of the attack, it was while he was threatening Dade's mom. --- I'm assuming most all details about him would have been obscured due to him being a minor (otherwise Nikon should have remembered them), so he just imposed his own identity onto him. Although the relatively lenient sentencing would have been a good tip-off that he wasn't actually black. Its also kinda weird how Cereal is both incredibly flakey but ultimately reliable. Plus in his favor, that he knew what Dade meant when he shouted about how the government was TRASHING OUR RIGHTS! Point against...that he proceeded to yell loudly HACK THE PLANET! right in the middle of a crowd of people surrounded by police who probably had his picture, since the arrest warrants went out included him. Speaking of the arrest warrants, how did they know their hacker aliases? I buy they knew Dade's, since theyve been in contact, but was like Lord Nikon ever even on their radar? I guess Joey just spilled everything. One last thing, so we are with Agent Gill as he is getting his flood of phone calls after the personal ad, but one thing always stuck out to me. Seemingly those are calls that are starting when he picks them up, or messages left on his phone that hes trying to go through that would presumably play from the beginning. But we never hear why they call that one gentleman Stallion. Is he just really bad at creepy phone sex? As soon as the phone picks up he's already almost done with his call. Why do they call him Stallion?!
  8. Joven

    Meltdown (2012)

    Really good riff, although I had to crank the volume past 100% to hear anything, but then again thats mostly the movie's fault since the paper rustling and random music cues came in loud and clear. Also seriously, until I saw the in title of this thread just now that this was a 2012 movie i thought it would have been made in like '99 at the latest. I dont know, I cant believe in addition to the hideout being a music room, its referred to as "the warehouse". I swear there was going to be another hideout or something when Dragon told Zdar to get agent fuckup down to "the warehouse", and then they immediately had the scene in the music room with them drinking and then he got knocked out and woke up in the same place... Also for supposedly being such great shots as established in the shooting range flirting(?) scene, our heroes have incredibly bad aim, they could barely even hit those guys during the drive-by(?) shooting scene. I mean you'd expect the bad guys to have shitty aim, but its like the person setting up the gun fights saw The Naked Gun and didn't realize it was a comedy and thought thats what badass gunfights looked like? and I'll just leave this here http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BehindAStick
  9. Joven

    EPISODE 123.5 - MINISODE 123.5

    Yeah, just google The Hawkeye Initiative. There's also people who try to replicate in real life the poses from comics covers, to see how impossible they are anatomically, since turns out comic characters don't have organs they need to worry about, or some/a lot of artists don't know how bodies work.
  10. Joven

    EPISODE 123.5 - MINISODE 123.5

    No matter what he's in, to me he'll always be Mr. The Plague.
  11. But what if its instead based on Super Don Quixote?
  12. Joven

    EPISODE 122.5 - Minisode 122.5

    I'm really on the fence with it, I'll watch whatever they make, but I'm not gonna donate for several reasons. (mainly that since the main difference to rifftrax would be the host segments, and I really didn't like any of the non-riffing bits from Cinematic Titanic) I'm not really married to the old cast, at least in riffing (especially since currently I feel that the Rifftrax crew are well behind any of the good iriff groups, so its not like nobody else can do it except the ones who already have), but it did take a while for Bill to get into the groove of Crow, and with a relatively small amount of episodes not sure getting used to not just 2 new people manning the bots that are so iconic at this point, but also probably a new human could maybe be a bit hard. Plus trading on nostalgia is one thing, but at least from what I know, Joel is basically the only connection to the old show and probably wouldnt be onscreen afaik, so its harder to see it as a continuation kinda thing. I'm mostly sure it won't suck, but not all that sure it will be awesome.
  13. 1. The Stabilizer - put on your best leopard print pants and mesh shirt combo, settle in a take a load off your cleated feet, grab a live iguana for a snack, pour some champagne on your lady and follow the location map to action. 2. Lady in the Water - narf! nuff said 3. Equilibrium - who knew that portraying all the characters in a movie as wooden emotionless drones could be bad? At least it taught me that the best thing to do in a gunfight is stand stock still and pretend im a water sprinkler except with bullets. 4. Mission Impossible 2 - the story of Ethan Hunt running and jumping around like a kid at recess, also spinning. Somewhere around him a movie happens. 5. The Covenant - majick boyz, good movies can kiss its ass.
  14. Joven

    EPISODE 122.5 - Minisode 122.5

    It was, in fact it was literally Tom Cruise. He used the powers he gained from scientology to travel to feudal Japan and he dazzled the ancient world with his incredible super powers, his weird jittery mannerisms, super fast running and pale skin, thus being the inspiration for all anime. I believe his story was documented and used as the basis for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 3.
  15. Yor was just kinda boring, I felt. Its overall more of the bad stupid. Beef Steakbody didn't get too many good moments, at least nothing like when he played Rock Punchgroin in Space Mutiny, and he was basically the only thing going for the movie. Then again, its been a while since I've seen it, but it didn't seem all that memorable to me.
  16. Joven

    EPISODE 121 - Perfect: LIVE!

    Just a few quick things cause thats all this movies worth. "Oh gee, my car battery is dead and I need you to jumpstart my car so I cant just drive away from the creepy invasive douche all up in my grill. My car is such an unreliable heap in fact that this will actually be the only time in the entire movie that its unreliability will ever come up, or even be mentioned as a way to justify this encounter." Is the impression I'm supposed to get during the simulated sex aerobics class, that JLC altered her routine to be more sexual in an attempt to flirt with Travolta? Because thats kinda what it seems like, and yeah, I guess its working as a way to flirt with Travolta, but if anyone wants to bother going back and watching that again, it seems to be working way more on the black lady on the row in front of Travolta. She is way more into it than basically anybody else in the movie is into anything. In a rare bit of complimenting the movie on actual competence, since I didn't want to really watch the sweaty aerobics I was specifically looking in the multitude of mirrors to see if I could catch a glimpse of the camera crew. And maybe its just my eyes + my tv, but I don't think I ever saw them. So it seems like they kinda got at least one thing right. Also I know they kinda mentioned in the episode, but I really can't get over how when he's pitching his story to his editor he presents it as a new novel idea, and the editor agrees and really likes it. Then about the first thing JLC says to him is like "god, are you doing ANOTHER one of those 'gyms are the singles clubs of the 80s' stories?" He's certainly a pioneering force in his field.
  17. Id just like to point out again, that the bulk of this movie is pointless. They discover no extra power (internal/emotional, or external/magical/technological) on Earth that would increase their ability to fight Skeletor and his forces. Kevin and Julie are useless in the battle that ensues when they arrive at Eternia for the final showdown as either moral, medical or martial support. Skeletor's forces are actually more powerful when they arrive with the addition of the mercenaries and Skeletor's enhanced power, and He-man having been whipped and beaten in the meantime. The beginning of this movie has the heroes fighting Skeletor on Eternia, and they run away overwhelmed. They gain nothing on Earth to help them, and their only goal is to return to Eternia. When they do, they are in a worse position than when they began. The entire Earth detour was effectively useless. The only thing that changed is now principal Strickland is there with his seemingly magic boom-stick that he would have ejected all the rounds out of before ever firing since he pumps it every time he speaks. Conclusion; the reason they gave him the castle and woman is because principal Strickland is in fact the hero of the movie who single-handedly tipped the scales of power into the favor of good.
  18. As the rifftrax for this I watched pointed out, the sign was just there to show that the movie was asinine (assi9).
  19. They could have just merged, what really is the paradox is what happened to the past principal Strickland?
  20. Joven

    EPISODE 119.5 - MINISODE 119.5

    All Butts knows how to do is take.
  21. Joven

    EPISODE 119.5 - MINISODE 119.5

    Eh, don't worry, he has it in the very next scene. It's magic, it probably just does that on its own. I will kinda agree that he-man is barely the hero of the film. He does barely anything, and isn't ever shown to be any more powerful than anyone else except at the very end when the plot dictates he has to be. My favorite part of the movie is how it was all completely pointless. Their big plan was to get back to Eternia and mount a direct assault on Skeletor and his forces...which is exactly what they were doing in the first place when they decided to run away instead. Their trip to Earth gave them no tactical or even magical advantage or advancement and didn't even give any character development that would help them. Was principal Strickland that much of an asset to their cause that he alone tipped the scales in the favor of good? Also, what happened to him. Sure he stays in Eternia with that woman who was just randomly here...but when time goes backwards on Earth, where's he? Are there two of him now? does history just rewrite itself and he never existed, or for all everyone on Earth knows he just vanished, the evidenceless disappearance of a police officer in a relatively small town fueling paranoia and fear amongst the citizenry, or at least lots of speculation and character assassination against him as he's made a scapegoat for whatever local corruption there is?
  22. Joven

    EPISODE 119.5 - MINISODE 119.5

    Just in case anyone wants it, there is a good Rifftrax iriff available for Masters of the Universe - http://www.rifftrax.com/iriff/ronin-fox-trax-masters-of-the-universe (the same group also did a riff of the He-Man and She-Ra Christmas Special, which was good as well.)
  23. Joven

    EPISODE 119.5 - MINISODE 119.5

    So all the mancrotch stuff reminds me, I wonder if they'll comment on how many times Principal Strickland cocks his shotgun needlessly. Its like how he begins and ends sentences like its a verbal tick but with ejecting rounds from a weapon. At the end of the movie when he actually has to do any fighting he should have tried to fire and just looked down bewildered at his gun and wondered aloud where all his ammo could have gone as he stands atop a mountain of unused 12 gauge cartridges.
  24. Truck Jesus got parted out for your sins. You couldn't see it, but that tanker truck that allowed them to continue filling those hungry trucks only had 1 gallon left, but Truck Jesus produced enough fuel out of nothing in order to feed them all. Speaking of:
  25. So, I too was baffled by that stupid thing and looked it up the other day, and yes it is a legit military vehicle. As its name M274 Mule would imply its mostly for transporting things, but was also fitted with rocket launchers occasionally. Haven't really seen anything outside of Maximum Overdrive to suggest it would have had a machine gun mounted on it, as it wouldnt be a frontline thing, so its really an odd vehicle to try and use and have it make sense. Like a freakin Willy's Jeep would have probably been way easier to obtain, more common, cheaper and made more sense to have a machine gun on it, and people are really used to seeing military jeeps with machine guns on them in movies. Clearly they chose it simply because it was easier to hide all the remote control shit, and just going with "eh, its olive drab and it has a gun, close enough, people will get the idea." Also, not sure if its been brought up, but since the gang were making Breaking Bad jokes, that guy in the arcade who said "yo mama"...was electrocuted because he put his hand on an arcade cabinet which would have been made of MDF and plastic which would be non-conductive. My immersion, ya'll.
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