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Joven

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Everything posted by Joven

  1. So Caine essentially took his fighting style from Shadow the Hedgehog. Few things that didn't come up I thought might have, like that guy with oversized whamo air blaster rifle ... if that doofus had just had a regular gun, Jupiter, sean bean and Caine would all have been dead halfway through the movie, since he scored direct hits on all of them during that fight at Sean Bean's house. Also, was I the only one who laughed out loud at the robot guard's stubby t-rex laser gun arms? I know they glanced over the DMV parody scenes, because who the fuck cares, but one thing that makes it even less funny of a gag than it is otherwise, is that the only character getting flustered or reacting to the bureaucracy is the robot side kick they randomly introduced and then never spoke of again. Jupiter and Caine and everyone else didn't seem all that bothered, it was only the robot which was LITERALLY MADE to navigate bureaucratic red tape that was getting annoyed. Also, about the "only one of each alien race" thing - well not really, a) they're hybrids, so not quite different alien races. and b.) there are many of the leather coat wearing lizard guys. So much so that when Shadow the Hedgehog is fighting them at the end, one of them is supposed to be the badass enforcer for Voldemort, but you can't tell them apart because they all look exactly the same. And, Sean Bean lived through a movie, is that allowed? I was sure he was gonna die when they were trying to get through that crappy minefield (also hey, giant warship that's there supposed to be helping us...maybe at least fire a shot or two into those swarms of drones we're flying into?), or to get the dome/shield or whatever open to Voldemort's lair.
  2. So to summarize Hercules' way of hitting on a woman: "You remind me of my sister...lets bone." (unfortunately I've seen enough people posting what they receive on OKCupid to know there are plenty of guys who think that is indeed a good way to woo a lady.) Wonder what she's gonna think after a while, when Hercules never turns up anymore, and then she manages to find Pretzy down by the docks and ask whats up and finds out he just randomly took off and gave Pretzy a heartfelt goodbye over a hijacked radio signal and she got nuthin but Vorpal Gangrene or Dragon Syphilis or whatever you get from half-breed gods.
  3. Joven

    Josie and The Pussycats

    Wonder if we could get a SheeRL of the TRL scenes from this movie.
  4. Joven

    Josie and The Pussycats

    DuJour means staying on topic! I kinda have a question about the soundtrack, does it include the song which plays over the end credits? The more modernized cover of the original Josie and the Pussycats theme? Because I can't really find that by itself, only in videos of the end credits, and just searching for the theme gives me results for the old one.
  5. My favorite part about the car noises it they were most prevalent immediately after Hera/Juno/whatever said to Zeus how revoltingly noisy the Earth is and how peaceful Olympus is.
  6. Joven

    Ghost Ship (2002)

    I feel like there were a bunch of these movies to come out at the same time. (or, I just watched them at the same time.) I know this isn't the one with the computers taking over the ship, is this the one that's upside down, or the one where the tentacle monster sucks a lady into a toilet, or a different one? (I'm also guessing it's not somehow also speed 2.)
  7. Stop or my Mom Will Shoot. starts about 10:30
  8. Im trying to remember, what was the british guy's relation to the UN? Wasn't he some negotiator or peace worker or something? Because he seemed awfully quick to jump to "kill the shit out of everyone different than me".
  9. Joven

    G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra (2009)

    I just remember that the rising of cobra basically takes place at the moment they're being defeated. Big dramatic reveal, I will don my evil mask and become leader of cobra now...right as our stupid sub is about to be swarmed by good guys and we lose...I am TRIUMPHANT!
  10. Joven

    The Warriors

    Why don't they just steal a car? The streets of New York were essentially deserted, there's not even any traffic, could be home in no time. Also, why are the streets deserted? It's like the only people left alive in the city are a few gang members, some cops, a single news vendor and some kids at a prom. In the fight with the Dexys Midnight Runners gang in the bathroom, no less than 3 baseball bats are shattered when swung against somebody's stomach... Like hitting a sink and mirror and wall are nothing, but the rock hard abs of a guy on roller skates, that's too much for an item which has been designed to with the sole purpose of hitting something very hard. And of course, what happened to the bullet at the end? Gun pointed right at Swan, trigger was pulled, gun was fired, but it's like the gun gave up because it knew the guys arm had been hit with a knife. Was it loaded with blanks? (maybe the guy was gonna play a little prank on him?) Or were they larping with an atomic clock style rule set and since the knife hit before the gun fired, it didn't count as the enemy had already been defeated? Also on the subject of the undercover woman in the park...so the plan is that she blows her whistle and her backup swoops in and takes care of any murderous rapist who would be in the process of assaulting her...you know, eventually...when they get time. I mean haste makes waste, no rush, just take your time to do the swooping properly.
  11. Joven

    Is Rifftrax horrible?

    I only didn't mention Cinester Theater because of their audio quality, their riffing is really good other than that though, just wouldn't put them down as a group to introduce iriffs with. Also really like Janet and Cole's riff of Jaws 3. Made a good compliment to the Jaws 4 HDTGM.
  12. Joven

    Is Rifftrax horrible?

    Personally, Rifftrax has been really hit or miss lately, with quite a few misses for me. (although they have been getting better as of late.) Their early stuff is really good, and there are some stand out hits for me over the years (Birdemic, The Room, Bourne Identity, Cool as Ice, Ghost House, the Harry Potter movies, etc.), So I'd probably recommend starting near the beginning/middle of their catalog. Also if you like them, I would recommend you take a look at some iriffs, which are made by independent groups/fans and there are some I would say are even better than Rifftrax at their best. (Just about anything by Quiptracks, Hor-RIFF-ic Productions, RoninFox Tracks, Riff-Raff-Theater, or Drawback Productions are pretty much guaranteed to be A level riffs.)
  13. Joven

    Episode 109 - FACE OFF: LIVE!

    Keenan Wayans and Keenan Wynn (Wayans reprising his character from Glimmer Man, Wynn reprising his character from Laserblast.) or, Kristen Stewart and a cardboard cutout of Kristen Stewart
  14. Joven

    Why did they change the theme song?

    I believe its going to be all rap all the time I'm afraid. The rap is here to stay, and the next iteration is going to feature a rapping granny, who is in fact here to say, that she likes watching movies that are bad in a certain way. If I'm not mistaken they're also changing the format of the whole show to be a 1 hour beat-boxing freestyle battle to get points about the movies out. I think that starts at episode 125 when they cover 1993's Who's the Man.
  15. Joven

    Episode 109 - FACE OFF: LIVE!

    Still googling face waterfall, came across this actual piece of art: "Sometimes one picture is simply positioned over the centre of another; elsewhere the silhouette of a figure is cut out; its ghost-like absence is filled in by more landscape or someone elseโ€™s body. Stezakerโ€™s work re-examines the various relationships to the photographic image: as documentation of truth, purveyor of memory, and symbol of modern culture." Yuh huh, ok. http://www.featherof...ointed-harmony/
  16. Joven

    Episode 109 - FACE OFF: LIVE!

    Know I'm in the minority but I very much disliked this movie, the hammy acting, stupid scenarios, stupid characters and creepy ass face waterfalls literally made me cringe, its definitely nowhere near as good as Con Air, I'd go so far as to say I hated this movie, episode was really good though. Kinda on the topic of face waterfalls, just googled it and HDTGM was pretty high up, might just be the google spy stuff sifting the episode and the montage up the rankings, but whatever. Are we to assume that Cage has those cigar boxes filled with specific candy and guns stashed all over the place? Like those aren't his special one of a kind guns, they're just mass produced? Because even after everyone assumed he was dead he/archer shows up to the crime apartment and they just shove that same box from the airport at him. I'm fairly certain the FBI didn't just randomly give out what would be a.) evidence and b.) in the fiery wreck of a jet they probably still haven't dislodged from the building, to some random people who were vaguely known associates of his. On the subject of known associates and the airport...his guards/lackeys/minions/whatevers, his kidnapping guys who round up the doctor to give him Archer's face and kidnap Archer's daughter and do his bidding in the church, they were the same guys who were at the airport, weren't they? Pollux got sent to secret sea prison, but they were just roaming free? Waiting somewhere in town that Troy has the phone number to for further orders? About Archer's actions during the shootout at the crime apartment...he kept grabbing the kid and sticking next to the woman during the shootout. So in his mind, he would help whisk them away to safety and protect them...and not, you know, paint a giant target on them? Couldn't help but think that maybe the kid would be safer if he was maybe anywhere else than in the arms of the guy that a huge swarm of people were intent on killing. Granted, the cops apparently didn't care whether he was an innocent or not, since there was a scene when the kid was standing on that little mini disco dance floor where a cop just fires a shitload of bullets directly at the kid, clearly aiming for him, kinda before Archer got there...so who knows. Also, if Troy hadn't woken up, this would be like a whole 10 minutes movie. There's all the setup, build up of him going to the sea prison to meet Troy's brother. Oh no, a kink in the plan, Pollux is kinda suspicious, how will he manage to use his wits and knowledge of Troy to get the infor....oh, it lasts like 2 seconds, he spills the beans immediately, now Archer knows where the bomb is, mission accomplished, sure couldn't have used anybody else for such a delicate operation. If you needed Archer's encyclopedic knowledge of Troy, maybe just implant a microchip (or whatever, I'll edit this when I think of something better) in the undercover guys ear so he can fill in the blanks when necessary?
  17. Joven

    Josie and The Pussycats

    Just watched this again, and agree its a pretty good movie. Pretty funny overall and I legitimately liked several of the songs. What I didn't know about it was that it was in fact, a documentary. You see, not only is everything in Josie and the Pussycats real, it was really made by the real Illuminati...really. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vBjaO0179io What I particularly like about this internet video proclaiming the truth of how this exposes the Illuminati is how a.) its simply a beginning to end recap of the plot of the movie with "Oh by the way, this is all true." tacked onto the end with no support, and b.) his source is another internet video proclaiming the truth of how this exposes the Illuminati which is simply a beginning to end recap of the plot of the movie with "Oh by the way, this is all true." tacked onto the end with no support. In summation, Josie and the Pussycats is the best movie ever! Join the army!
  18. Joven

    Ghost Rider (2007)

    One of the dumbest things about that scene is, its played like "Oh no, the devil is getting between him and his lady, if only he wasn't unwillingly turning into the ghost rider he could rekindle their romance."...but when all that was happening he was already super ass late, even if he showed up she would have been super pissed since the whole reason he talked her into it was to prove how reliable he actually is. Also, for anyone interested theres a really good Rifftrax for this by Quiptracks makes the movie almost as enjoyable as Johnny Blaze finds the 24x7 chimp karate channel.
  19. Joven

    Josie and The Pussycats

    "Puppies turn into dogs who grow old AND DIE!" - only thing I remember about this movie.
  20. Joven

    EPISODE 108 โ€” Con Air LIVE!

    He also parks in the giant handicap spot, because they weren't quite sure that you had gotten the hint that he might be a dickhead by that point. Its like a cliched 80s dickhead character version of Last Action Hero, if you followed his life backwards a few weeks or something you would have seen him burst his AZZ KIKN car through a theater screen showing different movie made 15 years earlier.
  21. Joven

    My "The Room" Story

    There were at least 2 tracks (played over the endless establishing shots, and one for the sex scenes), also the guy who did the music for The Room was on American Idol.
  22. Well, it was the Sheriff that said they can't survive in salt water. Hector said that kind of information is concealed in things called books which he may not have heard of, implying that that isn't actually the case. And so according to my sources (wikipedia), the crocodile in the movie is a saltwater crocodile known for traveling vast distances on the ocean. It is also a type of crocodile which does spend most its time in the water, only really coming out of the water to bask in the sun, which is backed up by the behavior of it in the movie and again goes to the point they made about how it could have been helped by adding signs. (such as this, which is the wikipedia approved method of dealing with these types of crocodiles: )
  23. 30 foot long killer crocodiles capable of chucking canoes around like so much confetti would have to be pretty heavy, no? And surely a renowned expert and the worlds premier crocodile fetishist would know that? So whats the deal with that loony toons lasso trap that snags the sheriff? He says its on a counterweight, so instead of cutting the rope and causing the sheriff to fall violently to the ground they just need to gently lower him down, and all it takes is Bill Pullman and Bridget Fonda to defeat it? What would that have even done to the crocodile? Would it have even noticed? Did he set that trap specifically for the sheriff? Or maybe the sheriff is really just THAT fat? (he's really just big boned, and his big bones are filled with dark matter and twinkies.) Speaking of the traps, they sure spent a good portion of the movie hyping them up. That was a thread that surely went somewhere. Hell, even Congo managed to think up that if you set up how badass your heroes defenses are, you could maybe use that as a way to establish how credible a threat they're going against when it turns out they aren't as protected as they think.
  24. Joven

    Thunder in Paradise

    This also had a video game, btw. For the Phillips-CDI, its an FMV on rails shooter, where you play a dumpy kid wearing all the 90s, including a giant vr headset and running around with a laser pistol shooting apparently virtual bad guys who appear to be sentient man-shaped blobs of pudding. Its apparently based on one of the episodes, where an android gets hijacked and does...I dont know, it mostly wanders around I guess.
  25. Joven

    HDTGM Jams Mega Mix

    Didn't the Smurfs sing some 80s song too? Also from Nothing but Trouble: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ocS2GFICJoY
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