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BasilKarlo

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About BasilKarlo

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  1. BasilKarlo

    Robocop 2 (1990)

    To be fair to the filmmakers, Miller's script was almost untouched. His complaints about Hollywood tampering are almost entirely unfounded. You can find the original script online and compare it to the movie to see how full of crap Miller is.
  2. BasilKarlo

    Twixt

    In his special 'Nice try, The Devil' Pete Holmes makes a joke about looking like "lesbian Val Kilmer."
  3. Unpopular opinion time: I hate every Indiana Jones sequel. Only the original is worth watching IMO.
  4. BasilKarlo

    To Live and Die in LA

    You'll have to explain how this movie isn't a total stinker.
  5. BasilKarlo

    To Live and Die in LA

    I used the search function and no thread showed up. That said, this movie OPENS with a man scaling a sheer building to throw a terrorist off a roof BY HIS CROTCH.
  6. BasilKarlo

    Highlander II: The Quickening (1991)

    Every version of Highlander 2 is terrible. The "Renegade" version is just as bad as "The Quickening" because the plot changes introduce so many massive plot holes. I think this review from Amazon sums it up pretty well: This is quite possibly the worst movie I have ever seen. Seriously. I really liked the first Highlander. It had its flaws, obviously. But it was a very cool movie based around a very cool idea. Highlander 2:Renegade Version is not cool, nor does is even have a single cool idea in it. There are so many problems with this piece of crap. I'll list some of them for you. 1- The movie opens with Lambert's MacLeod an old man, apparently afflicted with throat cancer. Lambert was trying to employ an old man voice, but ended up sounding like he just had radiation therapy for cancer of the throat. It was ridiculously bad. 2- The constant reuse of the same room as different rooms. It was like watching a video game from 1993. They literally used the exact same set for 4 different rooms. One of which was supposed to be in a completely different building. All they did was move around tables and chairs to make it seem like a different room. 3- Michael Ironside's minions, sent to kill MacLeod. Where do I begin with these 2 characters? One of them had a penchant for laughing like a lunatic while sticking out his tongue for no reason whatsoever. He did this about a dozen times, each time for no reason. And the other one sounded like Goofy. If he were heavily sedated and tripping balls on quaaludes. And the manner in which MacLeod kills both of them is some of the worst movie effects this side of 1955. The fight choreography with these 2 morts was also some of the worst I have ever seen. I could complain about this one particular part for hours, but I need to move on. 4- Sean Connery's Ramirez's nonsensical return. They explain this with some sort of ritual that involved orange drink and the waving of fingers in front of MacLeod's forehead. All MacLeod had to do was say "RAMIREZ!" just after he killed the lame minions and Ramirez was brought back to life. Which lead to 3 or 4 god awful scenes with Sean Connery basically goofing off and trying to become a member of the Mile High Club. Why didn't MacLeod just do this after killing Clancy Brown in the first Highlander, you ask? Because that was a good movie. 5- Michael Ironside. Just Michael Ironside in general. He's not a bad actor(unless you're watching Scanners. But why would you be watching Scanners?). I actually like him in most movies. But this was one of the dumbest villains I've ever seen. When he first teleports himself to Earth, sorry, I mean when he first beams himself to our time, he decides to commandeer a subway train and somehow cranks it up over 800 MPH, killing the passengers with g-forces, I guess. This is very possibly the worst scene I've ever seen in my entire life. And I used to watch horror B-movies all the time. The way they achieved the effect of making it look like the passengers were being thrown against the back of the train(due to sheer SPEED!) was by simply tilting the train and making the passengers ROLL and FALL to the back. It was completely unconvincing and laughable. At one point a passengers eyes were bugging out of his head, but the makeup effects were so bad it looked like he was wearing goggles with big eyes painted on them. Ironside's character also does things like grab John C. McGinley's balls, destroy cabs for no reason, and break people's necks by putting his fingers in their mouths. Moving on. 6- The entire plot was nonsensical. I'll lay it out for you. The Earth's ozone layer was depleting and disappearing entirely. So MacLeod's company makes this satellite thing that puts up a red shield around the planet, blocking out the sun's light. Despite the planet still being fully lit during the day and dark at night somehow, this shield is a problem for people and the Earth because... because... well crap, I guess they forgot to work that in. So anyway, this scientist leading a group of the least stealthy saboteurs ever decide they need to shut this mother down because they find out that the ozone layer has replenished itself and the shield is no longer needed. This hot lady scientist also says that the shield is killing the earth, but never says how. But what's worse than the plot missing its entire foundation is the laziness with which they showed this shield. The sky is red and trippy looking. When they show the sky you can see no horizon. But in several scenes throughout the movie you can plainly see a blue sky. This is just lazy. 7- The sex scene. Yuck. After killing Ironside's 2 minions, MacLeod, now young again, just strolls up to the lady scientist and starts boning her. And he's done in 20 seconds. So he's not just creepy bordering on rapist, he's also a premature ejaculator. 8- So many stupid lines and plotpoints. I can't go through them all with a movie this bad, but I'll name a few. Ironside knows that MacLeod is dying when the movie opens, but he decides to send his 2 goons to kill him. But their very presence on our world, sorry, in our time, makes MacLeod immortal again. Ramirez says(spoiler alert, I guess), just before he sacrifices himself for no reason, that it will take both MacLeod and lady scientist to shut down the satellite. How he knows this, I'm not sure. But when it comes time to destroy the satellite, MacLeod just walks into a beam of light and destroys it while lady scientist watches on, doing nothing. They even made a point of replaying Ramirez's proclamation just before MacLeod destroys the satellite by himself. Do not watch this movie. Not even for a laugh. It is too bad to fall into the "So bad it's funny" catalog. It nearly made my eyes bleed.
  7. BasilKarlo

    To Live and Die in LA

    Right from the start this movie is a stinker. The soundtrack is by Wang Chung. The leads are the guy from CSI and the guy from Monkey Shines. Things are constantly happening without explanation or any buildup whatsoever. The plot is sort of handled like an afterthought that you're left to piece together from terrible dialog after events transpire. The pacing is god awful and feels like there was no script, just a frantic pitch turned into a movie. The opening credits, showcasing 1980's Los Angeles, feature a donkey-drawn carriage surrounded by Mexican immigrants. The first time we see CSI guy and his old partner(who somehow climbs the sheer glass walls of a hotel like Spider-Man) in action a Muslim terrorist's bombing "plot" is thwarted by throwing him off a building(by his crotch) and said terrorist's vest bomb(which is clearly made of road flares) just exploding the side of a hotel, which is IMMEDIATELY followed by CSI guy and old guy just nonchalantly deciding to go play cards and get hammered. And guess what? Yup, old guy is just a few days from retirement. Oh, and in case you were wondering who the hell these guys are, it takes about 15 minutes for it to be explained that these terrorism-busters are Secret Service. This movie is hilariously dated and bad, but what makes it worse is that it's from the guy who made The French Connection. Seriously.
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