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ElieB

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Posts posted by ElieB

  3. Posted

    I friggin love this movie.. no joke. It's the only disaster movie I know of where the disaster is caused by a bunch of grime punks.

     

    Also, It's like a movie on a plane or in a submarine, the underwater tunnel really raises the stakes.

  4. Posted

    Cam H...

     

    I just threw up in my mouth at the thought of Jeremy Renner leading the Avengers... Not a chance in this or any other shared universe does that happen.

     

    If anything, it paves the way for Captain Marvel to take up the leadership in some way. It's her natural position in future phases. While Dr. Strange, Black Panther and newly appropriated character rights from fox start their illuminati-type council.

     

    I just hope we get to see a Falcon-BlackWidow-Bucky movie about who gets to take up cap's shield.

     

    • Like 1

  6. Posted

    All I could think as I left the theatre was "I can't believe it's not Micheal Bay!"

     

    Actor playing the brother is utterly worthless and the brotherly dynamic had ZERO chemistry.

     

    I laughed when they actually used the word Geostorm and kept laughing harder and harder every time it was said as the movie went on.

     

    The science was exceptionally bad from start to finish. The scene in beijing or whatever with the ground erupting in fire springs to mind... Dude is racing again fiery fissures in the road down the fucking coast! So 10 feet away from this mile long magma eruption is what appears to be fairly deep water. On one side of this the absurdly linear, mile long magma eruption is perfectly fine, unaffected sea water. On the other side is and entire city of skyscrappers collapsing from the whatever-it-is..... kk

    • Like 1

  7. Posted

    Yo this movie is a PERFECT hdtgm flick. Everything is so over the top and artistically bankrupt. Had me gasping and cringing and laughing. Great dumb-speak like saying "brain work" for thinking and the like. Every ten minutes or so is like a totally different movie so it really keeps the surprises rolling. Including when you finally see Ironside as, appropriately enough, a giant claw-handed cyborg zombie monster lol. They're so fucking big! Borrows from all the big hitters like star wars, running man, mad max, shades of terrible italian spaghetti scifi... And Molly Ringwald.

    Peter Strauss is awful in the lead role but he's surrounded by so much crazyness that you kinda don't even notice him.

  11. Posted

    It's Friday, there's a bunch of new movies out but I'm too tired from the work week to focus on anything good so my friend and I say luc besson space madness? Ok that should be entertainingly bad at least. and I fucking love scifi AND bad movies.

     

    My friend and I walked out, like, 15 to 20 minutes from the end of the movie. Cause we just couldn't take anymore. It's so disorienting, random, meaningless, disjointed, boring and cliched. Might have been racist too. Script is fucking brutal, there's no antagonist, you'll hate the protagonists, you'll never know where you are and why you're there, the soundtrack will put you too sleep, you'll be upset by a 10 min scene fetishizing some primitive pixie species of aliens. OMG by the time Rhianna shows up in a 5 min shape-shifting burlesque scene I was losing it. and then she actually stick around for a half hour delivering terrible lines?? Fuuuuuuuck this movie. My whole experience was a melange of boredom, disorientation and confusion. NOT a fun combination.

     

    It's maybe his worst film yet.

    No, definitely is...

     

    Don't actually want an episode about this but I would enjoy June trying to understand this piece of trash.

     

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cPeqNTqZNN0

    • Like 3

  14. Posted

    Another thing I found unfortunate was that the reveal of who the villain is was kinda telegraphed since the film had really only two major actors and the rest of the cast were character actors, so by process of elimination you could figure out who was going to be in the final reveal.

     

    Yeah, Ewen Bremmer. Obviously.

     

     

    MV5BMjA4NjkxMDI3OV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTgwODAyOTYzMjI@._V1_SY1000_CR0,0,1499,1000_AL_.jpg

     

    I enjoyed it and love Gal Gadot (RIP Gisele) but if I had one comment it would be that Patty filmed one too many catwalk glamor shots. Like right before the 3 most epic moments, we get these 10 second shots of Gal doing this catwalk strut and model faces right at the camera with wind blowing back her hair in slow mo. Like these weird blue-steel faces totally out of context from the scene.

     

    Is that a double standard, I can't tell. I don't notice how much dude heroes do this but it was so blatantly un-badass. I much preferred her smiling and enjoying the fight in BvS when she got smacked down because it was contextual. Obviously that's bad comparison because this is just her origin story and she's not a full-fledged badass, but then go the other way with it. Show some fear or doubt on her face before heading into no-man's land instead of eye-fucking the camera.

    • Like 3

  15. Posted

    Ughhh please don't. This is exactly the kind of bad-bad 80's trash they've done too much of already. Skank and gutterboy?! GTFO. The movie is so absurdly simple that most of you summed it up in 3 lines. Let's not waste their time having to dissect this garbage. It's such an inferior version of movies they've already done, and this one has way less to offer. The wraith doesn't even talk does he? The scenes just repeat themselves over and over until the bad-guy crew of sub-humanoids is all dead. Big whoop. The majority of dialogue they will have to discuss comes from characters called Skank, Gutterboy, Rughead, Oggie, Redd and Stokes... noooo thank you.

     

    I really hope I'm proven wrong and that this turns out to be a great episode. But holy fuck I hated this movie.

  16. Posted · Edited by ElieB

    I've been meaning to post this blink-and-you'll-miss-it screen cap from xXx. For whatever reason I find it hysterical.

    18342777_10101622201937015_3942763302642194388_n.jpg?oh=ebf11d45b3eff31aa68d17ff344b4440&oe=5978E2E4

     

    A. You wouldn't use an axonometric or perspective of a 3D model for a "jump analysis", it would be a 2 dimensional graph.

    B. You wouldn't call it a fucking jump analysis! It's a god damn projectile trajectory

    C. That arc is IMPOSSIBLE and isn't at all how trajectories of humans in free fall look like. Which is fine, unless you for some reason bothered to SHOW the audience how impossible the jump was.

    D. I realized it's not the first time an HDTGM episode has given us a stupid fucking jump trajectory graphic.

     

    I give you, from After Earth, the "only survivable route"

    18402146_10101622216607615_1382205489516542405_o.jpg?oh=800cf7145f2e1d3c2171e0dbe77901d5&oe=59813B0F

    • Like 3

  19. Posted

    Yeah Fister I saw that earlier but I still don't think it holds water. She has plenty of opportunity to tell Dom and could have reached out at any point. It's not like oh it didn't seem like the right time to tell him at the Hospital, I guess I'll just never tell him. And considering she nearly just DIED falling out a four storey window, I think she'd want to tell the kid's only other family member he exists... You know, incase she actually dies and the kid just goes into brazilian foster care.

     

    That and the time frame of Tokyo drift is a total mystery but I think it's safer to presume a minimal estimate of its time frame given that none of these movies occur over any particularly long period of time.

  20. Posted

    Regarding the crew eventually going to space and the gravity problems that entails, here's my take:

     

    Ok, the series thrives on constantly raising the insanity level so what if the answer had nothing to do with conventional space travel or the moon which doesn't have enough gravity for adequate racing. What if the answer was ALIENS.

     

    Stay with me for a second. Cold open: Tej and Roman are at an undisclosed location in the Nevada deserts giving Ramsey driving/racing lessons. Ramsey behind the wheel in one car with Tej there for guidance, Roman driving the other car in a heated race. Suddenly both cars are shut off by some kind of EM pulse. Ramsey and Tej's car gets tractor beam abducted by a UFO. Roman looks up, dumbfounded, and cracks wise about being glad he was left out for once. Queue Credits.

     

    Roman travels to whatever exotic location Dom and Letty are hiding out in and tells them they need to get the gang back together to save RamTej but nobody believes him cause he's the clown and they think he's just jealous that RamTej finally ditched him to get some alone time.

     

    Cut to PCb, Tej and Ramsey have been imprisoned for some time but (with the help of RIDDICK mayhaps?) they hack their way out of the Alien prison just long enough to find a com system and transmit an S.O.S. But as the message is being sent the aliens recapture them.

     

    Weeks or months go by when Mr. Nobody shows up to debrief the crew on a new mission. SETI has decoded mysterious signal received from Proxima Centauri b in the Alpha Centauri system, a slightly larger than earth planet in the habitable zone. Stranger still, Torreto is name-dropped in the garbled message and Mr.Nobody wants him on the mission.

     

    Mr.Nobody brings the crew into a super secret mission briefing at Area 51 where the gang gets a special astronaut training montage a la Armageddon. The US government has been developing a series of spacecraft and extraterrestrial vehicles for decades based off of derelict space craft but they need some real speed demons to actually get behind the controls to test them. On to mission launch and operation ALPHA lead by none other than the alphiest alpha, Dominic Torreto. Space racing ensues as Dom's ship wants to get there first. Because like in armageddon there are two mission ships for redundancy and Dom can't accept getting there second.

     

    They arrive and Roman comes with some half-cocked plan even though he really doesn't want to be there. Experimental ET vehicles touch down and space mission begins. Hilarity ensues as Letty comes face to face with Dom's alien doppleganger Riddick who decides to come back to earth with the crew, doubling the Vin Deisel quota of the franchise from there on. Or maybe Dom dies on the mission and gets replaced, Kree style, by Riddick and no one is the wiser. They just think Dom really loves sun glasses now.

  21. Posted

    Reposting from Recommendations thread for Corrections and Ommissions:

     

    Guyz, whhhhhhhhat is happening. The timeline of "Baby Brian" is fucking imposssssssible.

     

     

    What people are forgetting is that all of Tokyo Drift happens between films 6 and 7. So if maybe-baby Brian was conceived in film 5, then he has to have been gestating throughout all of films 6, 3, and 7. You could assume that films 6 and 7 occur over very short periods but my impression of tokyo drift is that it takes place over a much longer period of months i believe. Lucas Black literally has to make friends, enemies and learn to tokyo drift, all from the ground up. I would estimate that Elena has to be at LEAST 5 months pregnant by the time she re-encounters Dom at the hospital in the beginning of film 7. Instead she gets blown out of a 5th storey window and appears 0days pregnant. Several more weeks must pass during this film.

     

    UNLESS the child is born in between films 6 & 7, during the run time lucas black is tokyo drifting. But why doesn't she fucking tell Dom that he has a kid when they meet in 7?!?! SHE KNOWS HOW HE FEELS ABOUT FAMILY

    • Like 1

  22. Posted

     

    Don't quote me on this, because I could be completely wrong. But as a known accomplice of the suspects, as well as doing some of that shit while he was a cop, he's probably earned that high spot on their list.

    Except didn't they all get pardons at the end of 6? Hence being back in America all this time? Why are any of them still on that list... Especially since they were working for the feds/spooks in 7.

  23. Posted

    I want to ask everyone that complains about Han: did you not pay attention to the movie?

     

    It's revealed that Cipher was manipulating them the exact same way she was manipulating Dom. Shaw did what he did for his family - the same way that Dom does. And in the end, he rescues part of Dom's literal family. The team is definitely not totally cool with him for most of the movie. It's only during the final scene after he's rescued Dom's son that he is invited to be a real member of the gang.

     

    Ummm actually. I don't think Shaw is being manipulated by cipher at all in Furious 7. (Despite the retcon of F8) Because I don't think he gives 2 shits about gods eye. It's only Djimon who's after God's eye the whole time. Shaw is 100% on a murder mission to kill everyone that took down his brother and only ever pops in to fuck with the crew while their vulnerable and otherwise focused on the mission... What did killing han have to do with the god's eye? Nothing really. I think he doesn't know about Cipher manipulating his brother, or if he does, it's not his motivation. His sole motivation is avenging his brother hence the tokyo drift tag and the cold open of Furious 7. "When we were kids you'd start fights with the toughest bastards int he yard. But I was the one who had to step in and finish them. Rest now little brother, while i settled your one last score."

     

     

    But even if he was manipulated by Cipher it doesn't matter. He still murdered one of their family and nearly killed several more, including 2 unborn children(Brian's kid and kid Brian via Elena)" It doesn't matter why he did it. No family accepts that person with open arms.

     

    P.S. Damn all of you who listen to new episodes the morning of and get all them first posts! Always so jealous I don't get to listen until later in the evening.

    • Like 2

  24. Posted

    Does the scene in "Hackers" count where Johnny Lee Miller and Angelina Jolie are fighting for control of the tape-changing robot at the local TV station? It may be the most hilariously petty hacker fight of all time.

     

    :lol: No no, Hackers is the exception. But in literally all other instances it just undoes any goodwill the movie has earned til that point.

     

    giphy.gif

    • Like 2

  25. Posted

    Guyz, whhhhhhhhat is happening. The timeline of

    Baby Brian

    is fucking imposssssssible.

     

     

    What people are forgetting is that all of Tokyo Drift happens between films 6 and 7. So if maybe-baby Brian was conceived in film 5, then he has to have been gestating throughout all of films 6, 3, and 7. You could assume that films 6 and 7 occur over very short periods but my impression of tokyo drift is that it takes place over a much longer period of months i believe. Lucas Black literally has to make friends, enemies and learn to tokyo drift, all from the ground up. I would estimate that Elena has to be at LEAST 5 months pregnant by the time she re-encounters Dom at the hospital in the beginning of film 7. Instead she gets blown out of a 5th storey window and appears 0days pregnant. Several more weeks must pass during this film.

     

    UNLESS the child is born in between films 6 & 7, during the run time lucas black is tokyo drifting. But why doesn't she fucking tell Dom that he has a kid when they meet in 7?!?! SHE KNOWS HOW HE FEELS ABOUT FAMILY

     

     

     

    • Like 3
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