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ElieB

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Posts posted by ElieB


  1. Anyway, I actually saw this movie IN THEATERS out of morbid curiosity. It was terrible, but I found myself wishing it was better because it has a sort of nice anti-slut-shaming, pro-LGBT message that goes against everything disgusting and uncomfortable about the Twilight movies. Maybe I can will myself into watching this again.

     

    Sounds like this episode should be ESPOSITO V. HOLMES! ROUND 2!

    • Like 1

  2. Oh man, when I saw "vampires" in the episode description, I was hoping they were going do "John Carpenter's Vampires," but this "Vampire Academy" seems to be equally a mess, so it should be just as fun.

     

    "Via con dios, slayer."

     

    Yeah I just rewatched JC's Vampires for the first time in like 15 years, awesome bad movie nostalgia watch. I felt super super teased by that write-up intro... Really really hate YA stuff and I can only handle blood suckers in Vampire's Kiss and JC's Vampires. I did actually consider seen vamp academy as a hate watch last year but my better nature won out so I never stooped that low.


  3. I think they're bracing the audience for a passing the baton on to Bucky. It could also be passed to Sam considering he has the title in the comics currently, but Bucky did get it first.

     

    It's a tough choice to make for marvel, politically. Personally I love seeing bucky with the shield, and as mentioned, loved his brooding struggle with living up to Steve. Sam's cap has been pretty good post-secret wars, some of that same struggle with modern day america divided. But he just has too many gimmicks with the birds and redwing and hyper-vision goggles and flight-suit AND the shield? Come on... Let bucky carry the shield. Would make a great confrontation and reconciliation with Stark once Steve is dead, for bucky to have to get the shield back.

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  4. As happy as I was too see them finally deliver a young spiderman on screen (as opposed to old-ass macguire and garfield), I was really starting to hope they would give us either of Kamala khan Ms Marvel, Sam Alexander Nova or Miles Morales Spidey. Those 3 are the current "Young" heroes and they're fantastic. Having Kamala and Danvers on screen together would be great, same as Sam with Quill or Thor and Morales with older Parker.

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  5. My guess is the first movie will end with most of the characters "dying" except for Captain Marvel. In the second movie she will recruit the New Avengers (maybe even in her solo film)

     

    I'm guessing she'll be 'Major' Danvers in Infinity War and get her Promotion to Captain after Steve dies or something... Can't have 2 captains. (Though don't really know if Steve even goes by Cap anymore after Civil.)

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  6. I expect there to be more infinity stone developments leading into Infinity War. I have to assume they're going to tee it up as much as they possibly can to save on exposition time.

     

    I don't really know what to expect from it to begin with tho... I've read the 1991 series, out of context. I seen the Gauntlet come up in various other series. My favorite is the Infinity crossover event a few years back. But that is WAY to big, could be bigger than civil war. Shit, it crossed over every galaxy in the universe, involved every planet and race marvel has, and a whole lot of beings way beyond the universe itself. No way they make that into a movie so I have to assume it'll be some kind of gauntlet attack on earth. Meh, gotta reserve judgement. I'm just really incredibly super hyped for Captain Marvel so if it gives me a glimpse of Brie, I'll love it.

     

    Edit: Welcome to Elie's Marvel corner.

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  7. Personally, despite how much I loved Civil War, I still think it happened too early within the timeline of the MCU.

     

    But I completely agree with Ryan that they did the story perfectly with how the MCU is set up. I just wanted more depth to the Tony & Steve friendship that I feel like had been lacking in the previous movies.

     

    I'd agree it happened too early. Mostly because there weren't enough earth-based heroes yet and because they couldn't "kill" Cap with another avengers on the horizon...

     

    But sure, they got the bullet points and cobbled together a good story. I think it really worked well with Stark cause they've spent so long developing his feelings of guilt and remorse.

     

    The Caps are my favorite of the sub-franchises but I was hoping they would follow his civil war series a little closer. Have Cap turn himself in when collatoral starts piling up and be assassinated on his perp-walk. And then we could have had Cap's letter to Tony, asking Stark to help Bucky as his final wish. -> Cue darker spy-thriller captain america movies, with more roles for black widow and bucky.

     

    Edit: There are some great comics after caps death of Bucky struggling to come to terms with being the new Cap. Drinking at a bar, watching the news. Seeing nothing but protests and riots and discontent in america. Losing his cool when idiots at the bar won't stop talking shit about Steve(post civil war and cap going against the law). Brooding on what it even means to be captain america anymore. It's an amazing series that would be more relevant now than ever.

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  8. The drama is in the characters trying to decide if they want to join with this kind of Trump-esque figure full of promises of how he is that answer to all of your problems by deflecting the blame on others, or, you know, be cool and fight for what's right.

     

    See, I preferred the dramatic stakes in Last stand because they're actually much closer to this. For the entire mutant race to be confronted with the possibility of a "cure" and whether or not it's a good thing or whether they should have the right to choose that "out". Cause not all powers are as inconspicuous as, say, Storm or whatever. The idea that the powers were a curse to some mutants and that they might want the cure was a perfectly valid plot point that would lead to that sort of confrontation with the added fear that humans would force it on them. Based on that alone i think it had the best plot of the bunch, though X2 was the most well crafted cinematically.

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  9. It also had Cyclops dying offscreen, Xavier being reborn in some rando's body, and "I'm the Juggernaut, bitch!" So, no.

     

    These 3 things pale in comparison to the complete shit pile that is AOA. Last stand had just so much more going for it.

    Including Ellen Page as Kitty Pryde using her actual abilities - phasing - as opposed to being some stupid consciousness time travel macguffin in DOFP. Which I gather is from the original DOFP comics but everyone knows her as the phasing little sister kinda character / Peter quill's awesome phasing x-men girlfriend from earth.

    Mystique taking a cure-bullet for magneto in Last stand gave me more feels than anything in AOA or the entire 2nd trilogy.

     

    Last Stand also had a mildly better telling of the dark phoenix stuff. Rather than its horrible use in AOA as that magical ability they needed in order to save the world at the 11th hour, that jean had buried deep down and just needed to let go.

     

    How bout the the mind-fights between X and apocalypse? Ooph that was bad. I mean if that's how they want to go, sure. Let them have a stupid fight inside... mind-space? But at least make it interesting, not just Xavier in his favorite casual wear, fighting in the halls of his own mansion, inside apocalypse's mind for some fucking reason. I will take Xavier ascending from his physical form over Xavier literally punching bad guys inside their minds, any day.

     

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    There's really no comparing these two. In fact, Apocalypse is the lowest rated one in the entire franchise, excluding origins wolverine., full 10% under Last Stand on ROT. I mean, I won't debate Last stand being the best of them all, that's just like, my opinion man. A new found opinion but one I'm sticking to after 6 movies in the franchise to look back on.

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  10. Yes. An adult, with legs for days. And a brow that said "I'm not afraid of ripping your soul to pieces with my mind, so don't try anything"

     

     

    Remember how Xmen 3 Last Stand was considered such a big disaster?? And how in THIS one, singer makes a meta joke about how "the third movie is always the worst" (of a trilogy). I think he was trying to poke fun at Xmen Last Stand because he didn't get to direct it and it flopped. Wellllll jokes on him. Cause AOP and this entire 2nd trilogy was so bad it actually makes me think Last Stand was a masterpiece. It had a legit marvel Civil war feel to it, a great cast, better effects, better costumes, reasonably high stakes, etc.

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  11. Also the introducing Wolverine to Jean made me very uncomfortable knowing their history together. Do not care for that part at all.

     

    :lol: It was absolutely awkward. Like you say, knowing their endgame and wolverine's future obsession with her added this awful sexual tension between a probably 100yo wolverine and a teenage psychic. Eww. And I think, after wolverine runs off into the woods, Scott says something like 'I don't think i like that guy.' ? Thought I remembered some sort of quip referencing the future love triangle.

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  12. Believe me I know, after six years of studying it including high school I just got fed up with it.

     

    Ugh I'm too god damn stubborn to ditch it. I'm already through the 6 hard years of bachelors and master. But I've been dragging on my masters thesis for way too long... I just wrote 600 words about how shitty xmen aop is instead of wrapping up a chapter. Not that I even want to be an architect cause the licensing process is bananas and I'm only interested in doing residential anyway. I just can't walk away with the massive debt without the degree.

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  13. I mean, I was also kind of upset by Set's pyramid in God's of Egypt. Cause it was in this insane perpetual state of self-destruction&creation. The entire pyramid was shifting around, falling apart and magically being built back up. But whatever, God's of Egypt was just a crazy pants movie about myths. I can take it. Xavier's mansion though is a legit, entirely plausible and realistic building. You can't just tell me it's being built up like a house of cards! I won't be awed and deceived by your telekinesis!

     

    It's actually a running joke between my movie-going friend and I, how often I get upset about buildings in movies. Like how I can feel sadder for a beautiful house that gets burnt down in a horror movie than for the actual victims. I mean, what did that house do to deserve that??? Did that sick mid-century modern cottage in the hills transgress in some way? Leave that poor house alone!

     

     

    *SPOILERS - FULL BLOWN SPOILERS*

    So, x-men... One thing that bothered me about every installment in this new trilogy is the YA-movie way that they cast all the vain, hot young people who are terrible actors. Cause it's more important how it looks, for marketing, than how it looks in motion. I don't buy casting for any movie unless there's a couple normals and an uggo in there. Jlaw has never really looked the part as mystique and she sleepwalks through this threequel. The stories about her not wanting to wear the makeup are pretty infamous. I think the guy playing hank mccoy struck a similar deal because both of those blue freaks are sporting way too much human casual this time around. Not that it matters because both of their mutant-selfs looks awful compared the same effects for the previous trilogy, how did they go backward??? The wolverine or 'weapon x' scene was a fun interlude, but not as good as the quicksilver bit. And the effects behind the wolverine rampage were kinda terrible. He ought to have been shot a hundred times but he doesn't get ripped up at all. His jump attacks seemed like weak wire work. His enraged animalistic facial expression wasn't there either, he looked like he was having too much fun with it.

     

    Edit: In principle I'm not opposed to having a bunch of teens in an Xmen movie. That's kind of the whole theme behind x-men. Accepting each others differences and working together through, like, growing pains or whatever. But then don't give your cast of kids a bunch of pointless side roles in the movie, make them front and center. /Edit

     

    Also the stupid amount of training montages. Competing, conflicting plot-lines. Too many characters, so they're all undeveloped. Still afraid of using color in designing anything, like costumes. WTF were those ugly "flight suits" they had to wear for the end battle? Soooo dour. Apocalypse himself looked just terrible, top to bottom, T to B. The four horsemen were super uninteresting as far as plot contribution and their make-overs got to be way too much. It was like Apocalypse was going around playing pokemon with mutants. Nooooope. No thank you. And the voice that Oscar Isaacs was doing did not fit with my image of apocalypse. It should be big, imposing and godlike. Instead he was doing his best eddie redmayne whispers impression all movie long. And he had this droopy eye thing going on too, like some senior citizen. Wtf.

     

    Way too many scenes just looked like a group of actors standing in green screen. Like waaaaay to obviously. Same with the wire suspension acting in action scenes. And holy shit, the very last scene of mystique giving them an awful training speech in the danger room... felt so un-earned. and then the movie ends on a series of glamour shots of each kid doing their best attitude face for the camera. I'm going to gif them all, cause they're each so bad. Plus a last second shot of the sentinels that look like giant hair-blowers with eyes.

     

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    I think I've always hated MacAvoy as Xavier... Just doesn't work. The way he flip flops between self-pity and arrogant go-lucky exuberance is irritating... Both personalities are incredibly unpleasant. Xavier isn't a guy who smiles, you brittish twat. However, I did have a laugh at this moment, perhaps the most dramatic balding of a character in film of all time.

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  14. Haha it's scary how true that is actually. Architecture school is the bane of my existence. It's only ever been about 5% actual building technology and assembly details. Most students probably assume buildings are put together just like their 3d models. But practice, the real deal, is a whole other reality. Shame on Singer for perpetuating these dangerous myths.

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  15. K. I don't actualy want them to do an episode on this piece of crap. Though it is always fun when they get into nerd culture and comics related things. This is more of a suggestion to the board. This is maybe the worst comic movie of the year, which is saying a lot for a year with 2 DCEU crapshoots.

     

    Actors and script are so wooden from start to end. Lot of hilarious gems from the villain, like touching an 1970s tv set, somehow connecting to the entire world's information. And, with a creepy whisper, answering 'Leaaarnninnng' when Storm asks him what he's doing?

     

    My favorite moment, which came at the very end of 2 hours of hair-splitting boredom(if I had any), was this absurd bit of movie architecture. Now, I always bring up my favorite movie trope whenever I see it cause I think it's hilarious: The antagonist movie architect, ever the douche-bag sniveling arrogant weasel. The movie architect is always worth a laugh. But this is where I draw the line!

     

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    When I saw this I wanted to scream. FUCK OFFFFFF XMEN! FUCK YOU SINGER! GTFO!

    This is hands down the worst representation of architecture I've ever seen. You CANNOT just design and assemble a $50M mansion/school with your fucking mind and telekinesis! You don't just put up the raw materials in the right order and expect the thing to stand up! There's thousands of measurings and cuts and fitting involved! There's MILLIONS of little pieces of hardware used to assemble the various parts and layers. You know like nails, screws, hinges, glues, tapes, moisture barriers, masonry ties, WIRING, DUCTS, SENSORS, ELECTRONICS, MECHANICAL SYSTEMS, PIPING. FUCKKKKKK YOU JEAN GREY. :angry:

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  16. I like to go back and catch up on old scifi I missed over the years. so I saw this not long ago. Definitely bonkers, great pick for HDTGM.

     

    I was waaaaay into it when these future spy dixie chicks showed up. hamena hamena hamena

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    And then utterly disgusted anytime these two fucking freakshows came on screen. The Red Dwarf style robot gave me some feels eventually. But that human parable of poor personal care on the left made me want to hurl. CUT YOUR FUCKING HAIR YOU CREEP!

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    And then this happened. And I barfed. 'But by barfed I mean I barfed out of my weiner. I came'

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    Would be pretty incredible to hear Scott thompson give behind the scenes info on this mess. And how he felt about this ridiculous hat.

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    • Like 1

  17. 1.Cap Civil War

    2. Green Room

    3. Nice Guys

    4. Star Trek Beyond

    5. Deadpool

     

    Honorables: Keanu, 10 Cloverfield Lane, and... wait for it...

     

     

    13 Hours (that michael bay bengazi movie) Cause it's just been that kind of year for movies. Such a bad year that a michael bay movie was actually one of the better offerings for big budget films...

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  18. This confused the hell out of me, I thought it turned into a stained glass window and had to rewind it. Like everything in this film, you're not supposed to think too hard about it.

     

    :lol: From what I can gather it seems like the wings were her 'lego piece' like toth's brain and Osiris' heart, etc. He takes them so he can upgrade later and finally fly like Horus. But why are wings her thing if Horus is the lord of the sky? Blegh. If that was the case they should have just started glowing blue like the rest of the lego pieces! Not turn into precious stone bas-relief.

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  19. God this movie is weird. I saw it in theatres and burst out laughing the first time they mighty morphed into robots. Then it just kept getting weirder. Especially with all the lego God parts like eyes and brains. But the details in the movie are so god damn strange. One of my favorites is this part where Set rips off Isis' wing and when he tosses it, for some fucking reason, it transforms from a beautiful organic wing to a giant stone tablet pictogram of one lol, WHAT

     

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    But I think the real saving grace of this movie was that it managed to include my favorite movie trope, somehow, in ancient egypt. The evil selfish architect! He was easily one of the best characters. All the jokes about his OCD were great and the fact they actually drafted up some ridiculous egyptian architectural drawings cracked me up.

     

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