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jaymanthegreat

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Everything posted by jaymanthegreat

  1. When I look at smiling faces of children, all I can think is "stop staring at those kids! You'll get in trouble again!"
  2. My silly buddy has a some Silly Putty, buts a bit silly nutty in the brain parts.
  3. Next time you find a can of chicken soup, don't drink it, don't eat it, but give it to your brother. It's probably really boogers.
  4. I saw a piece of gum on the street, followed my mother's advice, and didn't eat it.
  5. Of all the days of the year, this certainly is one of them.
  6. They say every person started as a glint in their daddy's eye, but my father has no eyes. I must be a phoenix.
  7. If I had the time, I'd give every one of you a kiss on the bum, grammy-style!
  8. Urrr.... all I'm trying to say is fluffernutter, but all I can say nutterfluffer. Wait... nope, can't say it.
  9. Silver bells, golden trumpets, brass horns, and a pink kazoo. Holiday music 101.
  10. This started as a normal catchphrase but the end took my breath away.
  11. This beautiful season of the year makes me want to aggressively play the tuba.
  12. It's the holiday season with a whoop-de-do and hickory dock and giggle-biddles and silent tears.
  13. The "deck" in "Deck the Halls" means decorate. Poor little Timmy learned too late.
  14. And lo, an angel of the Lord came and said "Who wanna eat these yum-yums?!" And it was good.
  15. Lights twinkle, children laugh, and carolers sing. And I can watch it all in my underwear on my 52" flat screen.
  16. A good man once said, "Believe in yourself and all dreams are possible." He was immediately eaten by a shark. You made it, Stanley, you made it.
  17. *slow clap builds to thunderous applause*
  18. When John Smith told the crowd "Lets be friends with the savages," they only responded with pilgrumbles.
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