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jaymanthegreat

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Everything posted by jaymanthegreat

  1. Thou all should knowith how to maketh things soundith like Shakespeare...ith.
  2. Two heads may be better than one, but my ex preferred taking three at a time.
  3. You can bring the energy to the show, but you can't surge-protect it.
  4. You could call me Mary, but that was my friend Kipp's mother's name. So don't.
  5. You may be six degrees from Kevin Bacon, but we're all just one degree from the icy grip of death.
  6. Boil some water off, add some flavor, strain it in muslin; its all Greek yogurt to me.
  7. I always thought an eclair was just an electronic version of my ex-girlfriend.
  8. For bathroom time, don't forget the TP --now with a rush of cherry flavor!
  9. If you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree --the tree wins.
  10. Shave the head but never the face and you'll look sharp all over the place!
  11. Time is on my side and together we'll take on space. To the stars!
  12. Love is tender and I've got a big-ass appetite.
  13. Love will only die when the Easy Cheez runs out.
  14. I like my sparkles, don't get me wrong. But keep your goddamn glitter away from me!
  15. I got separate bins for my paper, plastic, aluminum, but not my heart. Guess I'll have to throw it away.
  16. When all's said and done, you'll never eat a hamburger like my buddy Ted.
  17. Eat it, Sit on it, just don't smear it on your face.
  18. CAUTION: Not to be used on heating appliances. Suitable for use at no more than 93 degrees C (200 F)
  19. Just saw 12 Angry Men. Quite mild for a gay porn.
  20. Superglued your butt together? Try some Kryptosolvent.
  21. German chocolate, Swedish Fish, Dutch cannabis... dems be my sex moves.
  22. I drove my Ford to the levee. It just wasn't the same.
  23. When everyone else stands to dance, be sure you're already on the floor flopping like a rainbow trout.
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