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jaymanthegreat

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Everything posted by jaymanthegreat

  1. jaymanthegreat
    Get out there and live your life. But don't die, that would defeat the purpose of my first statement.
  2. jaymanthegreat
    Pappy always said, "Don't lick it unless you mean it."
  3. jaymanthegreat
    Sweet is the sound of my lover's moan. Must have been bitten by a choco-beast.
  4. jaymanthegreat
    Squeeze to see if it's ripe, check for bruises on its flesh, then let it go. It's too good for you.
  5. jaymanthegreat
    Space pants are just like regular pants only in space!
  6. jaymanthegreat
    A lack of planning on your end does not constitute an emergency on mine, God.
  7. jaymanthegreat
    Time is every where, stretching across all of space, from the farthest stars to right up your pee-hole.
  8. jaymanthegreat
    I love my life, but I'd never say anything. I don't want to ruin what we have.
  9. jaymanthegreat
    Enough with this phoney war on drugs! Let's have a real war, on drugs!
  10. jaymanthegreat
    Hope springs eternal in the human breast. It's called momma milk and me likes it!
  11. jaymanthegreat
    Bros before hoes, unless they're schmoes. That's how it goes, as any bro knows.
  12. jaymanthegreat
    Oh no! The Cheese Baron's got my girl! I camenbert it!
  13. jaymanthegreat
    Dr. Watson wasn't a doctor nor the son of a man named Wat.
  14. jaymanthegreat
    Time can pass, gas can pass, people pass too. And yet the Time Gas People of my native planet stay still.
  15. jaymanthegreat
    She had a one-night stand with a one-man band, satisfying her one-thing gland.
  16. jaymanthegreat
    Tomorrow's soup of the day will be meatloaf.
  17. jaymanthegreat
    Even the most fruitful endeavor is lacking in vegetables, grains, and proteins.
  18. jaymanthegreat
    At this juncture I felt inclined to slap my friend, Sherlock Holmes, across the face, stating, "Your mother's elementary!"
  19. jaymanthegreat
    Popping-Cherry Blumpkins, that is what they use to call me. Now I am Popping-Zits Santorum.
  20. jaymanthegreat
    You can candy coat it all you want, but I ain't ever eating your baloney.
  21. jaymanthegreat
    Sweet love songs fill the room, but my baby gots no ears.
  22. jaymanthegreat
    You can pick plums, pick a guitar, or pick out the right tie for the occasion, but no one's ever gonna call you Pickie.
  23. jaymanthegreat
    Sometimes my boogers taste like garlic. Not that I eat them. I just assume
  24. jaymanthegreat
    My mother told me people will lie to get attention and seem interesting. But I was still thinking about her alien abduction story.
  25. jaymanthegreat
    Her lips said no and so did her eyes. Good thing too, those talking eyes were creepy.
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