jaymanthegreat

Hopefully its Scott's too.

Mashin' da taters. Mashin' da taters. Turkey, Gravy, Yum. T'gving!

Don't fear what others will say, fear alligators. Deadly, deadly alligators.

'Tis not in vain what we do today. No matter what the outcome, our actions will be remembered by Burt, the guy next store.

By Samuel L. Jackson's hipster glasses, I will find out who stole the cookie from the cookie jar!

I swear, that apple got those bruises falling out of a bag.

Ha!

My extra-sensitive toothpaste gets upset when I use other toothpastes.

Love is in the air, or at least it has been ever since I started carrying this open container of paint under my face.

He jumped out screaming "Boo!" But the joke's on him, 'cause that's not my name!

Do you hear the people sing? Because there are no people around. I suggest seeking out the nearest mental health professional.

I'm a bit of a peeping Tom, but only with guys named Tom, so it cancels itself out.

In the end, all those tacos will never fill the hole that she left. Unless it was a taco hole.

I put my little guy in a swiss cheese hole, in a swiss cheese hole. I put my little guy in a swiss cheese hole just in time for lunch!

Hey kids! Remember, if you really want to be super cool, just forget to wear a jacket!

In a child's laughter, I too find joy. In a kitten's purr, I too find comfort. In the song of a bird, I too find orgasmic delight.

It is undeniable that beeswax makes a soufflé absolutely inedible.

...for our right to eat 40 ounces of chocolate pudding in our underwear on Saturdays?!

I do everything like a boss, in that I pay someone else to do them.

I have a fetish for staring at my own flaccid penis. It's kinda hard.

Coco Fudge, Majestic Maple, Midsummer Flame... those are either paint colors or what the ladies called me in college.

Let us thank Lee de Forest for creating something he didn't understand that allows us to share our words today.

Mm, mm, mm, mm, mmmmm.... menstruation.

All that rapping and tapping at my chamber door has got me movin' and a-grovin' forevermore!