jaymanthegreat

My only regret is that I have "One Life to Live" seasons 1-12 on DVD, not Blu-ray.

Hell yeah!

As the blood spills, so shall you eat pie.

Tweet the tweet, I pray thee, trippingly on the thumbs.

Here she comes, full of grace. She'll eat the cheese, make no mistake!

Hold the phone! God knows phones need lovin' too.

I put blinders on my horse, but then had to train a dog to guide him.

I'll give you a henna tattoo for free. But not your leg, no jiggly places.

I delight in awkward orgasm noises. My friend Ted's are the best.

The best thing about telling the truth is you don't have to remember what you said. The best thing about lying is that chubby you get in your pants.

A game's not a game when it's afoot.

If you got a lot of toilet paper, you probably don't need more.

A professional does it for money, an amateur does it for the experience, I just don't do it at all.

Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow are all the same day.

An apple pie a day would be fantastic.

I could have been an astronaut, but then I broke bread with you people. Think on that knowledge.

Warm buns, juicy beef, special sauce... dems be my dance moves.

Well butter my butt and call me a biscuit!

When making love to a large albino Albanian woman, be sure to keep your fondue pot clean.

To be grateful and repay kindness—this is first; to benefit others is to benefit ourselves. So gimme dat twinkie!

Wash. Rinse. Repeat. Reduce. Reuse. Recycle. Revenge!

Oh let all my heart cry out "Bang! Bang!" The lyric of comedy's hallowed song, And may all ears accept that I have sang, Throats in gloried harmony sing along. May all who join in souls be uplifted, Filled with mirth, with laughter, and with life, And for all those who do not, you'll be gifted With a visit from orphan Fourvel's knife. O I shall make the world sing if I can, For I am comedy's Hot Saucerman.

The road to hell is paved with good intentions. And clown noses, lots and lots of clown noses.

Ben Franklin said, "If passion drives, let reason hold the reins." Ben Franklin was a horse.

404 error, catchphrase not found.