jaymanthegreat

The Duke of Earl may have married the Mississippi Queen and took the Country Road to Sweet Home Chicago, but he'll be California Dreamin' 'til Another One Bites the Dust.

Love me or hate me, review and rate me, spur me or date me, spare or implicate me, you're never gonna stop my nonsense rhymes.

I never had a sandwich I didn't fall in love with before consuming.

Why have a cowman when you can be the cowman?

Put on your fancy pants, buddy, its time to feel superior.

Dean Koontz sold a book titled "Odd Thomas", but no one wants to buy my book, "Stupid-Ass Dean."

I know what you would have from me and in my heart, I do admit, it is my desire to give it you, yet it cannot be so, for I already ate it.

E-cigarettes, E-trading, 'E don't know nuffin' no more, gov'ner!

I've seen your flag on the marble arch, but love is not a victory march, it's a guy named Steve who just needs a ride into town, please.

Listen lady, I don't know who you are or how we got into this mess, but that is not my son and a hotdog is not a sandwich.

An eye for and eye is a terrible example of bartering.

Tweet the tweet, I pray thee, trippingly with the thumbs

Today is the first day I realised I'd know the phrase, "Today is the first day of the rest of my life," for the rest of my life.

The problem with the world today is that politicians are politicians and not tacos.

Don't play with babies That suffer from rabies, Or are riddled with scabies, Or are sweet with the ladies.

Tweet the tweet, I pray thee, trippingly with the thumbs.

Tomorrow only knows. Yesterday only feels. Today only gets in my way!

Forward, me lads! Let us ride into the dawn with these gerbils firmly up our behinds!

I have seen a beautiful future, where all humankind live in harmony and love. But you couldn't find a Snickers bar anywhere, so screw that.

Sometimes I think everyone is out to get me, but its really just Jason Voorhees.

Two times two equals equals that little flag shaped number. 'Merica education is number straight line!

I've seen things you'd never believe! Though you have lived your whole life in an underground cave, sooooo......

There is a time and a place for every anus joke.

There was no love lost between them, thanks in no small part to their biologically engineered, eagle-like, super eyes.

We will not be defeated! Knock any of us down, and we will rise back up! Except for Tim, he's got this inner-ear thing...