jaymanthegreat

He who smelt it then poured it into a mold and made the most beautiful gold bauble!

All's war at fairs with Mike Love

I'm sitting in a pizza place in Vermont that is playing a Florida soft rock radio station and I can't think of a catchphrase. Send help.

I DM'd the PM in the a.m. A DMing the PM in the a.m. guy I am!

Use a comb if you wanna take her home, tweezers if you want to please hers.

Pop a can in the backyard and watch the kids play with the sprinkler until we all die.

There was no love lost between them, thanks in no small part to their biologically engineered, eagle-like, super eyes.

The most helpful thing you can do right now involves butter, I guarantee you that.

Bumping myself. Is that allowed? I don't know anything about nothing....

She praised the poise of my pose in prose.

If you think smoking makes you look cool, you're wrong! Nothing makes a duck look cool.

Bump

It's the most wonderful time of the year, second best of the decade, in the top 5 of the century, for sure.

There was a time when I would have done anything to make your holidays merry, but now I just wanna eat butter in the tub.

And here I thought that they were Tingle Bells!

Waiter, can I have this fly in my soup to go?

Lucky in love, unlucky in cards, lucky with parking spots, unlucky with wait-service.

Love is what you make of it, it being a roast beef sandwich.

My grandma made this casserole for my grandfather just before the war. They probably should have ate it then, these flies are terrible.

I've been sitting at the kids table for too long. Grab my sippy cup, 'cause we're going to the big boy table!

What's going down, hamburger?

When rye bread is dry bread, then sour dough 's the way to go.

Five hundred is just another way of saying half a thousand.

She praised the poise of my pose in prose.

"By Jovee, you've done it again, Holmes!" I cried. "Yes, Watson, 6 Twinkies in a single hour!"