jaymanthegreat

Your roundhouse kicks have no power here, for this house is square, as are most others!

Ukeleles are the chodes of the guitar world.

Sweet Audrey, do not fret, there is enough tuna steaks for all!

Space is all that black stuff in the sky, time is watching my arms get saggy.

She looked in my eyes and said, "I'll always feed you Bubble Yum." I looked away for a second, then she and the Bubble Yum were gone.

I'll have a side of toast, the rest you can feed to the peasants.

Soaked in sunbeams, covered in oil, laid out on the sand... there's no better way to cook an egg.

Here's looking at you kid. And here's a your card. And here's how much I saved by switching my auto-insurance.

Michaelangelo liked his ladies buff and with bodonkin' booties.

Harder, better, faster, stronger, low-fat, and gluten-free!

Twerking on the weekend is hardly worth the time-and-a-half.

Time was a bloated circle before it started doing crunches.

I always wake and bake. All my follow bakers start quite early in the morning as well.

A little dab'll do ya at first, but then you keep craving more and end up with hair so hard it can cut rock

A diamond is forever. So is Val Kilmer's Batman.

In space no one can hear you scream. In time someone might wonder where you are.

Cry hammock and let sleep the dogs of snore!

Stan, Jan, and Dan left Rick out of their plan... for obvious reasons.

In space no one can hear you cursing wildly because you forgot to send your rent check.

Tweet the tweet, I pray thee, trippingly on the thumbs.

I like this one

Right now, 797,151 Americans are masterbating, according to pleated-jeans.com.

Sweet creams are made of cheese. Who am I to diss Steve Agee?

I asked my doctor about prescription pornography, and you should too.

All things are all things to everybody who is everybody.