Best of 2015 Pt. 4

[Best of 2015 Pt. 4]

This is why we need a union.

Here, here!

["Holmes, you've done it again!" I cried, to which my friend replied, "Yes Watson, 40 fire-hot buffalo wings in a single sitting!"]

"Holmes, you've done it again!" I cried, to which my friend replied, "Yes Watson, 40 fire-hot buffalo wings in a single sitting!"

[I prefer a Clean Rain-scented toilet bowl cleaner to Spring Mountain Fresh.]

I prefer a Clean Rain-scented toilet bowl cleaner to Spring Mountain Fresh.

[Dark is the color of my coffee, jittery is the energy it gives me.]

Dark is the color of my coffee, jittery is the energy it gives me.

[Happiness is wearing at least four different scarves on any given day.]

Happiness is wearing at least four different scarves on any given day.

[Well bleach my butt and call me Jenny!]

Well bleach my butt and call me Jenny!

[All things must come to an end. You could make an orgasim joke about that if you want, but it'd be pretty hacky.]

All things must come to an end. You could make an orgasim joke about that if you want, but it'd be pretty hacky.

[Like most men on the go, I appreciate a DEET-filled bug repellent on my tush.]

Like most men on the go, I appreciate a DEET-filled bug repellent on my tush.

[Celestial objects born of eternal fusion bend space & time in an ever-expanding universe & you wanna talk about our crippling debt? Set priorities.]

Celestial objects born of eternal fusion bend space & time in an ever-expanding universe & you wanna talk about our crippling debt? Set priorities.

[Saying you want sock puppets is different than saying you want TO sock puppets.]

Saying you want sock puppets is different than saying you want TO sock puppets.

[The sight of a 400 lb walrus is arousing to other walruses.]

The sight of a 400 lb walrus is arousing to other walruses.

[At this juncture, I felt compelled to slap my good friend, Sherlock Holmes, about the face, crying, "Your mother's elementary!"]

I really like this one.

[Tweet the tweet, I pray thee, trippingly on the thumbs.]

Tweet the tweet, I pray thee, trippingly on the thumbs.

[You snack my butt, I smack your butt. Justice is balance.]

You snack my butt, I smack your butt. Justice is balance.

[My greatest rival is myself... And stairs. I hate walking up stairs.]

My greatest rival is myself... And stairs. I hate walking up stairs.

[Yellow, Brown, Dijon, Honey... If you must turd, make sure it's mustard!]

Yellow, Brown, Dijon, Honey... If you must turd, make sure it's mustard!

[Call in the cheeseburger brigade! And bring forth the bacon squadron for support! The time for lunch hath come!]

Call in the cheeseburger brigade! And bring forth the bacon squadron for support! The time for lunch hath come!

[My fire-type Pokémon can beat your ice-type Pokémon! All the kids from the late nineties know what I'm talking about!]

My fire-type Pokémon can beat your ice-type Pokémon! All the kids from the late nineties know what I'm talking about!

[At this juncture, I felt compelled to slap my good friend, Sherlock Holmes, about the face, crying, "Your mother's elementary!"]

At this juncture, I felt compelled to slap my good friend, Sherlock Holmes, about the face, crying, "Your mother's elementary!"

[Hey baby, let me be James Blunt with you and start by say you're beautiful.]

Hey baby, let me be James Blunt with you and start by say you're beautiful.

[Shakespeare called porcupines porpintines. Friggin' idiot.]

Shakespeare called porcupines porpintines. Friggin' idiot.

[Whose Woods these are, I think I know... Mainly because of that sign that says, "These be Ted's Woods."]

Whose Woods these are, I think I know... Mainly because of that sign that says, "These be Ted's Woods."

[Well cover me in powdered sugar and call me a Danish!]

Well cover me in powdered sugar and call me a Danish!

[Hark! The trumpet sounds forth the call! Make ready the pandas of war!]

Hark! The trumpet sounds forth the call! Make ready the pandas of war!

[I got my fog machine, black lights, and glow-spray. Let's do this, Grandma.]

I got my fog machine, black lights, and glow-spray. Let's do this, Grandma.