Space is all that black stuff in the sky, time is watching my arms get saggy.

[Space is all that black stuff in the sky, time is watching my arms get saggy.]

Space is all that black stuff in the sky, time is watching my arms get saggy.

[She looked in my eyes and said, "I'll always feed you Bubble Yum." I looked away for a second, then she and the Bubble Yum were gone.]

She looked in my eyes and said, "I'll always feed you Bubble Yum." I looked away for a second, then she and the Bubble Yum were gone.

[I'll have a side of toast, the rest you can feed to the peasants.]

I'll have a side of toast, the rest you can feed to the peasants.

[Soaked in sunbeams, covered in oil, laid out on the sand... there's no better way to cook an egg.]

Soaked in sunbeams, covered in oil, laid out on the sand... there's no better way to cook an egg.

[Here's looking at you kid. And here's a your card. And here's how much I saved by switching my auto-insurance.]

Here's looking at you kid. And here's a your card. And here's how much I saved by switching my auto-insurance.

[Michaelangelo liked his ladies buff and with bodonkin' booties.]

Michaelangelo liked his ladies buff and with bodonkin' booties.

[Harder, better, faster, stronger, low-fat, and gluten-free!]

Harder, better, faster, stronger, low-fat, and gluten-free!

[Twerking on the weekend is hardly worth the time-and-a-half.]

Twerking on the weekend is hardly worth the time-and-a-half.

[Time was a bloated circle before it started doing crunches.]

Time was a bloated circle before it started doing crunches.

[I always wake and bake. All my follow bakers start quite early in the morning as well.]

I always wake and bake. All my follow bakers start quite early in the morning as well.

[A little dab'll do ya at first, but then you keep craving more and end up with hair so hard it can cut rock.]

A little dab'll do ya at first, but then you keep craving more and end up with hair so hard it can cut rock

[A diamond is forever. So is Val Kilmer's Batman.]

A diamond is forever. So is Val Kilmer's Batman.

[In space no one can hear you scream. In time someone might wonder where you are.]

In space no one can hear you scream. In time someone might wonder where you are.

[In space no one can hear you cursing wildly because you forgot to send your rent check.]

In space no one can hear you cursing wildly because you forgot to send your rent check.

[Tweet the tweet, I pray thee, trippingly on the thumbs.]

Tweet the tweet, I pray thee, trippingly on the thumbs.

[Cry hammock and let sleep the dogs of snore!]

Cry hammock and let sleep the dogs of snore!

[Stan, Jan, and Dan left Rick out of their plan... for obvious reasons.]

I like this one

[I told her everything tastes better fried in bacon grease, but my burnt peen remained untasted.]

I told her everything tastes better fried in bacon grease, but my burnt peen remained untasted.

[Right now, 797,151 Americans are masterbating, according to pleated-jeans.com.]

Right now, 797,151 Americans are masterbating, according to pleated-jeans.com.

[Stan, Jan, and Dan left Rick out of their plan... for obvious reasons.]

Stan, Jan, and Dan left Rick out of their plan... for obvious reasons.

[Sweet creams are made of cheese. Who am I to diss Steve Agee?]

Sweet creams are made of cheese. Who am I to diss Steve Agee?

[I asked my doctor about prescription pornography, and you should too.]

I asked my doctor about prescription pornography, and you should too.

[All things are all things to everybody who is everybody.]

All things are all things to everybody who is everybody.

[Of all the times I went to the playground, that time Darcy Butters licked my nose was the best.]

Of all the times I went to the playground, that time Darcy Butters licked my nose was the best.

[Best of 2015 Pt. 4]

Credit goes to jaymanthegreat, not to me, for the catchphrase:

http://forum.earwolf...__fromsearch__1

 

I replied with a throw-away joke because I liked jayman's catchphrase, and Scotty Auks mixed up which of us was the original poster.

Plus, we all know that none of mine will get through.

 

Although... Scott, they are right here if you like:

http://forum.earwolf.com/index.php?app=core&module=search&do=user_activity&search_app=forums&mid=104370&sid=034ca2c233338b585e7a4c5fb80f9e4b&search_app_filters[forums][searchInKey]=&userMode=title

just saying

 

Thank you, sir! It was my first of the year.