Pure Guava

All my life I've been sittin' here pondering, day after day, year after year....is my skull Predator-worthy?

By Pure Guava, March 16, 2016 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

All our food is deep fried in hemp oil. That's the Bong John Silver's guarantee

By Pure Guava, August 10, 2018 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

All that jumping is futile, Q-Bert. The colors may change but you'll never ever get off this platform.

By Pure Guava, October 26, 2016 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

All the King's horses and all the King's men agreed that a witch must have caused a mass hallucination because there is no way that egg-man was real

By Pure Guava, January 31, 2016 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

All the King's horses and all the King's men couldn't hide the beastiality from the King and were beheaded post-haste.

By Pure Guava, September 15, 2016 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

All the musty daddies who get their kicks licking month-old bread know the grimiest weight benches in town are at Mold's Gym

By Pure Guava, May 9, 2018 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

All the single ladies? All the single ladies. All the single ladies? All the single ladies. All the single ladies? All the single ladies.

By Pure Guava, April 5, 2017 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

All the virgin guitar Seniors made a promise to get played before High School graduation.

By Pure Guava, July 22, 2016 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

Alright Portland, I admit Bridge City is a cool nickname but it doesn't come close to L.A.'s  "Under the Bridge Downtown City", the only nickname Los Angeles has ever had or needed.

By Pure Guava, October 24, 2019 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

Always wash your apples before eating, you never know which one was planted by Johnny Fappleseed.

By Pure Guava, June 7, 2017 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

An apple a day keeps the doctor away; He didn't go through 8 years of medical school to be paid in fruit, you cheap bastard

By Pure Guava, November 28, 2017 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

An Apple Watch a day keeps the doctor's hair grey, your arms can't support these weight increases, he's worried he's going to have to amputate.

By Pure Guava, February 6, 2018 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

And a Partridge Family in a Pear Tree. A-ha! I have finally completed decorating my orchard with DVD box sets.

By Pure Guava, November 17, 2017 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

And in the end, the love you get is equal to the love you pay for.

By Pure Guava, September 19, 2016 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

And now his watch has ended...thought it was waterproof, 'twas not.  'Tis a shame, he only had it a few days, certainly not a Rolex by any means, but a sturdy, fashionable timepiece all the same that will be missed.

By Pure Guava, December 28, 2018 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

And to finally put the age-old question to rest...yes, my taint is still insane.

By Pure Guava, April 30, 2016 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

Anniversaries are like poetry: They have a verse inside of them and are easily forgotten

By Pure Guava, April 26, 2017 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

Anyone can turn a horse into glue, it's turning the glue back into a horse that is the hard part.

By Pure Guava, June 9, 2016 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

Anyone screaming at a Men At Work concert weren't taking the band's name seriously. Does Colin Hay go to yr' pizza parlor and scream at you as you-ah tryin-to-ah-make-uh-duh-pizza-PIE? No, he doesn't. He just asks for a slice, extra Vegemite please.

By Pure Guava, September 12, 2018 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

• italian stereotypes
• luigi
• (and 8 more)

  Tagged with:

  • italian stereotypes
  • luigi
  • its a me
  • mario
  • dr. mario
  • nintendo 64
  • i play nintendo 69
  • with your mom
  • shes really good at tetris
  • cant you see cant you see the thunder

April? More like APP-ril. As in: I ril appy shopping for apps at app store in App-ril, app is in name of month so ril good deals on apps in Appril

By Pure Guava, March 29, 2018 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

Are you ready for some football? Check box A. Are you not ready for some football? Check box Get the hell out of 'Merica you commie bastard.

By Pure Guava, October 4, 2016 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

As a member of the PISS Army, I just wanna urinate all night, and tinkle every day

By Pure Guava, July 13, 2017 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

As black & yellow as a bee, Earwolf's website stares out at me. Pondering catchphrase 'till morning comes, resisting urges to murder bums.

By Pure Guava, February 23, 2016 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

As I lay upon my deathbed, I stare unto the face of God and ask him 1 question: Why didn't more people call their poops "Cocoa pebbles" ??

By Pure Guava, June 22, 2016 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

As the great Thomas Edison once said "Genius is 1 percent inspiration, 5 percent perspiration, and 94 percent slaying that sweet sweet nerd tang"

By Pure Guava, April 5, 2016 in New Catchphrase Suggestions