Forgot your password?
in Hollywood Handbook
Posted December 26, 2017
Posted December 24, 2017
Caroling Hayes Robustly Invokes Song Transfixing Modestly Angelic Sean
Posted December 22, 2017
wow, I never won anything in my whole life except for the respect of my peers & charades once in jr high
Big ups to my fellow Survivor fantasy leaguers who all had amazing seasons
the Calabasas Masterclasses dedicate this victory to H&S, without them none of this would be possible
thanks again Joe!
Posted December 21, 2017
yes, i've been pleasantly surprised how intense it's been since chrissy & them kicked high gear in
in New Catchphrase Suggestions
Medium, Long Island medium, but like an extra large in the Bronx.
Posted December 20, 2017
Someday we'll all share our own tragic war stories from the war on Christmas, the war on drugs and from the war on Christmas drugs.
we interrupt your regularly scheduled forum to bring you a live HHFFMC update: it is with infinite sorrow and trepidation that I must report the tragic accident that has befallen The Black Satan Metallica Stones of Rock & Also Roll aboard their B-59 Concorde stealth hellcat rocketjet bound for Morocco to kick off the 2017 Dumpster Fire World Tour when some birds got sucked into all of the engines and the co-pilot tried to wake up Sully for a patented miracle water landing but he'd taken 3 ambien and was passed out so the co-pilot did his best and called in an emergency mayday SOS before all traces of the aircraft disappeared somewhere in the vicinity of Bermuda near a 3-sided geometric figure
at the ceremony for remembrance and serious reflection Lars Ulrich sang an acoustic version of I Believe I See the Lighthouse with Phil Collins on bongos, Flea on vibes, Miley Cyrus playing the whole world, Yoko Ono on dobro, Woody Harrelson on tubular bells, Meatloaf on meat flute, Lana Del Rey on kazoo, some Greek folk on cheek poke, Billy Joel on keyboard, David Letterman on the vacuum and Neil Peart on a little tambourine. because Weiser was playing so hard to get he wasn't aboard the plane and is the sole surviving member of the group. he accepted the Rock & Also Roll Hall of Fame memorial legacy tribute award on our behalf
the album we recorded is finished and will be released posthumorously because this whole ordeal is very sad and definitely not funny. but we'll always have the memory of our 1st jam that Jack White saw and flipped out about to Oprah
Posted December 19, 2017
this was a lot of fun, Holly was very good & it was nice to catch up with Chanson
here's the last of my pics from trip to pee cast blast
and congrats to greggy on the shout out, glad to hear he's doing great
Posted December 18, 2017
And Mama in her kerchief, & I in my cap, had just settled down for a long night of short films & middle-out compression algorithms. Me & Mama are some big time nerds.
Posted December 16, 2017
this list of aliases was discovered in Henderson, NV while HHFFMC scouts were inspecting an old burial ground to see if it had enough restless spirits to soothe on the upcoming tour. the deceased had been creating fraudulent yelp reviews saying all the businesses in the area have a rotten smell, no cell reception and dark evil bad guys lurking everywhere (sounds like a great spot for a show). if you see any of their posts on yelp please mark them as useful, funny and cool
Jeffrey Tamboris Karloff
Valerie Bertinelli Furtado
Freddy vs Jason Giambi Arthur
Tyrannosaurus Rex Ryan Gosling
Dirty Harry S. Truman Capote
Joey Lawrence Taylor Swift
Pete Rosemary's Baby Driver
Saving Private Ryan Lochte's Nuts
Posted December 15, 2017
Thai massage goes to the runner, now that's what I call a close finish.
Posted December 14, 2017
Press 1 for Angel, press 2 for Crystal, press 3 for crack cocaine, because 7 ate 9 mushroom caps of a very potent strain.
saw H&S this past weekend at the pee cast blast, Kevin is on the left, Carl Tart is on the right
sunset at newport beach, some seagulls tried to ruin my art, one even took a dump, how rude
Posted December 13, 2017
Always looking out for the next big thing? Well get ready to have your pants blown off. Presenting the brand new Pants Blower Offer 5000!
thank you for the positive attitude ... but due to genre reclassifications and David Geffen's huge ego we can only qualify for the Rock & Also Roll Hall of Fame, which does come with a $10 million cash prize, for each band member, a special triple EGOT trophy and TWO Lifetime Free Everything cards from DQ, for each band member
ok so I guess they just gave us that award based on the first half of our name and how Jack White went on Oprah jumping up and down on a couch saying, 'I feel alive! and it's all thanks to them.' and Oprah pushed Jack for more and he shared a touching story about each of us from all the funny stuff we did at our first practice. then Jack told Oprah that he loves her and he's in love with her but she slapped him and called him fresh, which he took as a compliment and then did a lot more jumping on the couch
plus the Rock & Also Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremony is a massive traveling carnival that we can have setup anywhere, and we could park it next to the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame during their ceremony and show em what's what
Mesa, Arizona. We could play on old burial grounds to soothe the restless spirits of the ancients.
I know a nice amphitheatre in Mesa if we're unable to unearth any ancient burial grounds
damn that was a kick ass jam! I posted the full video of HHFFMC rehearsal on youtube but they took it down bc our covers sounded too much like the original recordings and actually better so the artists got scared that we'd get all the listeners and ads, but I guess Jack White watched the video before it was removed and has offered us a record deal with Third Man plus some dope t-shirts and dark sunglasses
we'll be heading into the studio this weekend to throw down some hot tracks, then we're leaving to go on tour. while we're away doing the big shows Dr. Dre, Rick Rubin, Pharrell, Bjork, Brian Eno and Trent Reznor will finish mixing the album so we can get our music out to the people, which is why we do this in the first place
please choose TWO US CITIES and ONE INTERNATIONAL CITY as stops on tour. specify venue or we'll just book the biggest stadium in town and burn that muther effer down. the tour is nameless so do tell if you have an idea
I pick the Moda Center in Portland, OR, the Superdome in New Orleans, LA, and Arena Corinthians in Sao Paulo, Brazil
current tour set list:
-I Believe I See the Lighthouse
-Lawyers, Guns and Money
-Not Sweet, Not Sour
-Bathing in Ketchup (My Life, My Choice)
-Sound Blanket 14
-Honey, the Baby Spilled Dry Cheerios (On the Living Room Carpet) Extended VIP Mix
-Can't Get You Out of My Head
-Mixin' the Bathtub Gin
-Don't Laugh (I Love You) (And I'm in Love With You)
-Divine Fulfillment of Perfect Productivity
it looks like we'll remain The Black Satan Metallica Stones of Rock and Also Roll. the ostrich's suggestion of DJ Soggy Sugar and the Wet Sleeves, while clever and moist, has two major flaws: 1, there are no DJs in the group, and 2, we here at HH forum fantasy music collective seek to foster a united artist movement where we do not separate ourselves by who is a Soggy Sugar and who is a Wet Sleeve, but we all stand together as equal partners in The Black Satan Metallica Stones of Rock and Also Roll
suck it Lars
Posted December 12, 2017
congrats to the boys on an honor well-deserved and in such a fitting location
what if Hayes owned a harbor and his name was Hayes Havenport, it'd be a throwback to when last names said what a person did. like our 1st president George who does 2,000 lbs of laundry, and Chris Columbus who every time his boat broke down phoned Greyhound to rescue his crew. and of course Meredith who is great at holding clothes and airplanes, putting up picture frames and doing extreme rock climbing, and even tho her name doesn't imply it she's very funny, nice, brave, sweet and lovely
Posted December 11, 2017
Been there, done that. Went back, did it again. Going next month and taking the whole family.
Posted December 10, 2017
when push came to shove, the boys chose to love, and that made all the difference
I'll be there too, but what if there's multiple snack bars?
Posted December 7, 2017
Murder and intrigue, lies and deception, Turner and Hooch, Charlton Heston, this winter in a special holiday death match.
Posted December 6, 2017
should i use the dyson or the hoover for our jam session ?
should i use the dyson or the hoover for our jam session ?
don't know a lot about vacuums but I'm pretty sure they're similar to violins in that the best ones are very old, so look for something with a nice patina, maybe one that's been struck by lightning so it has supernatural powers. it'd be nice to get a piece of that magical vacuum demographic. or just go with a standard dyson setup for a sure type thing
after an exciting HH forum fantasy music collective draft we now have a strong core membership to build our super group around. if you didn't get a chance to join last week just tell us your instrument and main influences
... on glass harmonica, tubular bells and guitar
VitaminSee on vibes
CiscoKid on a little tambourine and backup vocals
greggy on meat flute
JJPI on cheek poke raindrop sound
mwn's instrument is the whole world
cmb on accordion, kazoo and rainstick
the ostrich is on the vacuum
urinalcake is on dobro
Weiser is playing hard to get
nohorseman on keyboard
our first jam session is coming up so make sure your gear is ready. we will start work on doing a good set list
please choose ONE COVER SONG and ONE ORIGINAL SONG of your own for the set list
my cover is November Rain by Guns N' Roses, my original is called Mixin' the Bathtub Gin, a saucy calypso number featuring an extended kazoo and rainstick breakdown, which if anyone wants to get in on just say the word
also we got sued by Metallica for our group name, The Black Satan Metallica Stones of Rock and also Roll, which I don't see the problem but you know Lars and his fondness for legal action. so if you have an idea for a name do let us know
What's got two thumbs, six pinkies, twelve clavicles, a wooden ear, speaks fluent Smurf and drives a raspberry frog?