Cameron H.

I would just like to say thank you to everyone for not spoiling The Force Awakens. That was really awesome. I just got back from the theater, and unfortunately, this was pretty much my reaction to it as I left... No shit, I think I liked the Holiday Special more. I'm going to see it again this week, but it just didn't really do it for me--at least, not as a Star Wars movie. And I really don't want to be a Negative Nancy, but in my honest opinion, Guardians of the Galaxy and Tales From the Borderlands do Star Wars better than the Force Awakens. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ylYs6JSOjI0 (..and, I don't know, you should all be using Bell telephone service or something...)

Is it possible that Itchy's grotesque, nightmare inducing visage is a direct result from hours upon hours spent in the "Mind Evaporator" having inter-species pornography pumped directly into his brain? This is why I always stress the need for quality appliances in your home. So next time you're in the market for a Brain Masturbator, consider getting one from Whirlpool--a company that believes in one simple idea: to design, build, and service home appliances (including extrasensory, jerkoff machines) the right way. Built with pride, so that your auto-erotic, psychic salon chair will work for years, or they won't not build them at all! If Whirlpool can't keep this simple idea alive, then we (and especially our mental masturbation stations) are the endangered species. Buy Whirlpool; save the world!

Yeah, but it takes awhile for her to get there. He's got his charm blasting at eleven, and she just does not have the time of day for him. Let's face it, he's a catch. He's the romantic equivalent of a candy bar with a rich caramel center, lots of fresh roasted peanuts, and a super chocolaty covering. I mean, if he were a candy bar, I'd say he was a candy hit... But seriously, I have to admit that I gasped in horror when he stepped behind the bar and grabbed her from behind. And then when he was still in the bar...but she had already sent the bouncers home!!!! Yikes!

During the "Lovelorn in the Cantina" segment, was anyone else struck by just how extravagant the gift of flowers must be on Tatooine? To even have one flower to give to Bea Arthur, it must have cost Corman a fortune! Either that, or he would have had to sacrifice his own ration of water for God knows how long to get it to grow on that shit hole of a planet. I'm just saying, even though Bea Arthur was under no obligation to reciprocate his feelings, she could have shown a little more gratitude. And next time, Corman should just go with FTD.

It's not so much that it creeped me out, but I was struck by how much of a condescending little prick he is. Look man, her husband and ne'er-do-well buddy are missing and you're giving her the whole "give us smile" thing? He then tells her to just "enjoy her Life Day" before signing off with the assurance that he may have solved the issue he's been having with his X-Wing's engine. Oh, really? That's just great. I'm sure she couldn't be happier to hear that her husband's work acquaintance managed to get his ride sorted out. That should really ease the worry of her husband's disappearance and probable death. Thanks, asshole! (This post was brought to you in part by Woolite. Clothes that deserve a second look deserve Woolite.)

Huzzah! Work just gave me the cue to go home! Since I do most of my posting during work hours (They're so lucky to have me) I'm not really sure if I'll be around that much for the next few days--although, let's face it, I probably will. So, in all sincerity, thank you all for a very fun year! I'm thankful for all my HDTGM friends. So no matter what you believe, I just want to wish you all the Happiest of Holidays and a Merry Life Day! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jzSfGvgogck

Honestly, I don't think it was them trying to PC. This is supposed to take place "A Long Time Ago in a Galaxy Far, Far Away." Trying to make it a straight up "Christmas" special would have just made this movie weird. Not to mention they'd probably have to have Lumpy take the spotlight and retell the story of Wookie Jesus' birth...

Crazy question--although, maybe not too "crazy" when you think about it--but do you think George Lucas got the idea to make Luke and Leia brother and sister from watching this? Also, people used to laugh at some pretty dumb shit.

So...I made it though the Holiday Special last night, I'd say relatively unscathed, and all I have to say is at least Bea Arthur is in it. And also, just to be clear, I love the Pogues! I meant no slight to either them or the good people of Ireland. Please forgive me, First Time Caller. We cool?

I hate to admit it, but I think you're right. I'm such a die hard Beatles fan it's hard for me to admit that "Wonderful Christmastime" really isn't all that good. As far as favorites, I can think of two that I really enjoy, but I'm sure there are others. For me, at this second, it would have to be "Fairytale of New York" by No Use for a Name (I really like the Pogues version as well, but I have more memories associated with this one) and "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen/We Three Kings" by BNL and Sarah McLachlan.

I think that's a very good possibility. I just read the lyrics, and it definitely raises some questions, but I don't know that we can point the finger squarely at Grandpa yet. From the sound of it, Grandma seems like she definitely had some issues, and there's no telling how many people wanted her dead. Nobody seems very broken up about it. Maybe Grandpa is just relieved to have her out of his life... The line that gives me pause is "She had hoof prints on her forehead, and incriminating Claus marks on her back." I'm not saying if it was Santa Claus, Grandpa, or someone else, but this wasn't some simple Hit and Run, this was foul play! Personally, my least favorite is

So, I've been having a think... Since the Nic Cage segment has been retired, I've been trying to come up with suggestions for bits that can replace it, and I wanted to run this past you all. What I want from a segment is something that encourages fan participation (especially in the forums) and I think I've come up with an idea that I feel could be a lot of fun (at least for a little while), that will encourage creativity, and may bring new people to the boards. The only downside I see at the moment is that it may create more work for Nate and the gang--although maybe some kind of voting system could help mitigate that. The segment: Paul's Perfect Pitch (I'm not married to that title, btw. I'm open to alternatives.) To start, the bit would begin at the end of an episode with Paul giving the title of a made-up movie and one actor to star. Paul wouldn't have to provide this every time, just to get things going. For example: Unnatural Frailty starring John Travolta. Fans of the show would then come to a boards--in maybe a pinned thread created specifically for this purpose (I wouldn't want the main episode threads to get bogged down)--and using that title and actor, come up with a tag line and pitch for that movie, filling out the cast along the way. Either though voting or some other means, three pitches will be chosen to be read on the mini-episode with Paul making the final decision of which one gets "made." The person whose pitch gets green lit then "wins" the right to come up with the next movie title and actor. They will post it on the forums, and at the end of the next main episode, Paul will read the new movie title and actor. Rules (I can only think of two at the moment, but maybe more need to be established.) 1) To keep the segment brief, pitches should be no more than one paragraph or about 150 words. 2) The "winner" cannot submit a pitch for their own "movie" as I feel like this would create an unfair advantage. Hopefully this rule will help prevent someone from running the board. Once their movie title has been used, they can rejoin the game. What do you all think? It's entirely possible that such a game might only appeal to me, but I think it has the potential to be a lot of fun.

Knowing how bad this was going to be, I went ahead and got the Rifftrax, and although it IS funny, I was still only able to get through about 45 minutes of this movie in my first sitting. I'm going to try and finish it tonight. This has to be the worst movie every done on HDTGM, right? I thanked the Force every time it went to a commercial break. There are only so many "geriatric Wookie jerking off to 70's soft rock" scenes a human brain can take before melting into a puddle of gray goop. Sure, it only happens once (as far as I know), but that is absolutely one time too many. There isn't enough soap in the world to make me feel clean again...

For the sake of continuity, should I watch the Christmas Special before I watch The Force Awakens? I don't want to feel like I'm missing out on something...

He's 3 1/2, and although I think he'd be into it for a little bit (he knows what Jedis are and we have regular lightsaber duels), I just don't think he'd make it the entire run time. He's the cutest little guy in the universe (fact), but I'm not going to subject other people to his antsy shenanigans. Also, I feel like there's a really good possibility that if he doesn't sit there quietly and let me enjoy it, the middle of the movie will be interrupted by him sailing across the theater at Kylo Ren's face after I've flung him by the ankles at the screen. Guys, please don't ask the question, "Who do you love more: Star Wars or your son?" because I'm not sure I'm ready to learn what my answer might be.

That's awesome, I trust your judgement. I've already determined that I'm not going to be able to see it until the 28th as I will be on vacation that week and can see it while my son is in daycare. Now I just have to figure out how to avoid the Internet for the next 10 days... So if you all decide to talk about it here or on the mini-sode thread, you will have my undying affection if you wrap that shit in "spoiler" tags.

Congratulations to HDTGM for being voted one of Vulture's Top Ten Comedy Podcasts of the year! I can't really argue with the list in general, as a lot of great shows are represented, but personally, my top five would have been: 1) HDTGM 2) The Adventure Zone 3) MBMBaM 4) Pistol Shrimps Radio 5) CBB

During Steel's first flight from the cops, Sparky hacks into the main traffic computer for the city with the goal of changing the lights green so he can make good on his escape. After a couple of absolutely hilarious missteps, she is successful, and at one point, turns a light from green to red (no yellow light) which causes the wide-eyed cop to careen into crossing traffic. Traffic, I might add, that evidently consisted solely of drivers who seemed to be oblivious to sound of approaching police sirens and also ready to gun it as soon as soon as the light went green. Anyway, while the LAPD is still in hot pursuit--I believe Sparky tells him they are a block and a half behind him--she informs him that: "I should be able to give you greens all the way home." Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that mean she is also giving the squad cars in pursuit "all greens" as well? It seems like it shouldn't really be that much of a problem for them to find out where he's going--which, of course, they do. Multiple police cars converge on the junkyard. They have him dead to rights. And then they do...absolutely nothing! They even have a helicopter! A helicopter that makes a single sweep of the junkyard before the pilot declares, "Nothing down there but a pile of junk." Really, dude?!? Look, I can forgive you for not spotting his motorcycle's headlight in an otherwise deserted part of town--you're piloting your whirlybird, and you've got your diodes and shit you have to watch. I get that. But seriously, wouldn't a junkyard be just about the BEST place for someone to ditch their vehicle and hide among the rubbish? You're just going to dismiss it out of hand? That's downright inexcusable!

God damn it! I am so jealous of this person. After some careful consideration, and my own grammar snafu a couple of pages back, I really wanted one with the rogue apostrophe! Bring it back!

If I may, I just wanted to elaborate further on Cam Bert's point regarding the mugger and Steel's "crime fighting" in general. First of all, what exactly was the plan on his first night out? I get that they are eventually revealed to have access to a police scanner, but prior to that, was he just wandering around the city in full plate armor just hoping a crime would happen nearby? It's not like he has a Spidey sense, and stealth isn't exactly his strong suit. Was he just clanking down the streets like a maniac? I mean, that couple is actually extremely lucky that he just happened to pass by. Also, if memory serves, the mugger is the only criminal he actually neutralizes as Steel. Sure, he was able to electro-magnify the guns out of the gang members hands, and that stops the gun fight, but then he just kind of lets them go. Even at the end of the movie, his success seems to be more due to dumb luck and Sparky's weaponized wheelchair, than any direct action taken on his part. And speaking of gang members... There is no way he'd survive that gunfight, right? There are only two possible scenarios in that situation, and both hinge around him getting shot in the dick. In the first scenario, if he gets shot in the dick, and we assume that the gangsters are really good shots, there is no reason they wouldn't be aiming for his visibly exposed face. However, this would also mean that the gang members were making the choice to not shoot him in the face and were inexplicably aiming for his dick instead. In the second--and more likely--scenario, the gangsters are actually terrible shots and were just spraying him randomly in a hail of gunfire, some of which just happen to get him in his junk. But, if this is the case, then there is no way that one of the hundreds of bullets being fired at him doesn't hit him directly in his gigantic head. Bottom line: On his first night out, and on his second attempt at superhero-ing, Steel would be 100% dead.

But seriously, is there any superhero transportation lamer than being a scrub on the passenger side of a dump truck driven by your elderly sidekick? Maybe... (Editorial: Aquaman is dumb. And casting Jason Momoa to play him in a movie just makes him dumber.)

No, but I think Gish gave it to him more for ornamentation (because of his name) rather than any use as an actual melee weapon. Although, as alluded to on the show, it should have been a dead giveaway for his secret identity. "Yeah, we're looking for an African-American male, 7 ft tall, approximately 350 lbs, and wielding what looks like a large railroad hammer." "Oh, like John Henry..." *sighs* "Yes, like John Henry...Wait a tick. John Henry? John Henry...Irons? Oh. My. God. I think I've cracked the case!"

Was anyone else concerned for the kid when Steel hurled his 400 lbs, steel-coated body on top of him to shield him from the grenade blast? I felt for sure that the next shot was going to be of Steel clutching the shattered body of the kid and screaming, "Oh no! It's happening again!"

Before we all start really shitting on this movie, I think it's important that we all take a moment to recognize the things that this movie does right. For instance, one of the most important details one has to get right in order for a superhero movie to work is that the hero's main villain should be diametrically opposed to him/her, while still being in that particular hero's weight class--if not physically, than certainly intellectually. For example: Wolverine vs. Sabretooth works, while Wolverine vs. Galactus probably doesn't. In this regard, I think Steel delivers in spades! Steel is a guy who seems genuinely confused when he asks Gish, "They've got a warrant out for me?"* Which, keep in mind, at this point in the movie, he's been an extremely conspicuous figure at not one, but TWO high profile shootouts in downtown Los Angeles, both of which ended with him being pursued by the LAPD in a madcap, property and police car destroying, chase though the streets of LA. So, with that all being said, I have absolutely no trouble believing that Steel's arch-nemesis is a guy who is easily suckered by the old, "whatever you do, don't press the red button on that thing I made" ploy. Hell, Steel and Burke were made for each other. *Taking into account Shaq's limited acting ability, I rewound this scene with closed captioning on just to make sure that it wasn't just a question mark being acted on a declarative statement, but it only just confirmed that the question mark I heard was right there in the script.

Well, shit.... I went ahead and corrected the offending word. I have brought shame to myself and to this thread. There's only one thing left I can do... Thank you, Fister. You did all that you could.