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Cameron H.

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Everything posted by Cameron H.

  1. "O, that way madness lies; let me shun that; No more of that"
  2. The name Azazello, the name of the mutant who shoots the Puma-man and later kills Val Kilmer, is a derivation of the name Azazel, who--according to some legends--was a fallen Angel who later became a Demon. I only bring this up as a tip for anyone out there nurturing the dream of one day setting themselves up as a God on some remote tropical island. Please at least consider that naming one of your followers after a being who rebelled against Heaven, might not be the best idea. At the very least, you can't really be shocked when they make their move to usurp your throne. It's kind of like naming your daughter "Emerald Jade" and being surprised when she grows up to be a stripper. On an unrelated note: I share Paul's experience of Major League 2 being the movie where I realized that not every movie was good. What a disappointment that was! Let's take this successful, R-rated movie and make a family friendly, PG-rated sequel. There's no way that can go wrong...
  3. In this case, just omit the "s" from the "https." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x4xun1vi4C0
  4. I had the same thought! In my mind, he was still on the raft at the beginning and it was all a hallucination as a result of severe dehydration. Or... The events of the movie do happen, but Thewlis doesn't escape unscathed. Instead he makes it back to England, changes his name, and gets a job as at a small school as a Professor of the Dark Arts.
  5. I totally respect where you're coming from, and I'm pretty much the same way--I usually watch the movie over the weekend, and then re-watch it in the two mornings leading up to the episode (as a refresher) while on the treadmill. However, I pretty much chalked this week up to this past weekend being Mother's Day. Generally, I'm just happy they have been keeping a pretty consistent schedule lately. I know that can't be easy for them, and I'm sure they only do it to keep us happy. I'll take a Monday, Friday release any week rather than wait weeks between episodes. To your first point, yeah it sucks when they all can't be there. But, as I alluded to above, I'm just always happy when an episode comes out. I'd much rather have an episode with one person down then for them to not release anything while they try to get all their schedules together. It's a free podcast, and as much as we all love it, I accept that it isn't necessarily their first priority. At anytime they could just say, "Fuck it, they can wait!" I'm appreciative of Paul informing us that we can expect people being absent over the next couple of months as they travel. It sounds like the choice would be between either them doing it with a person out and keep releasing episodes on a semi-regular basis or not releasing anything for two months and everyone can fuck off. I felt that to be pretty considerate and sets a good expectation. Way to keep it classy, Scheer! To your second point, I can see where you're coming from and I can see why some people might not like it, but I'd also say that the original theme song is still out there on their first 100 episodes or so (4 years of the show) and none of those are going anywhere. Personally, I like both theme songs, but I'm still enjoying the new one. I like it both as a song and for all the references it drops. It puts me in a good mood to think of classic episodes. If it's really an issue, I'd just skip forward.
  6. I just wanted to add, I find it unsettling how closely Fairuza Balk's sexy dance mirrors my own "A New Episode of HDTGM Just Dropped" happy dance. The similarities are uncanny... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S3-VYMayS2c
  7. I have to say, I'm pretty much on-board with this movie. The Science? I don't know, but it all seems pretty solid to me. That being said, I do have one thing... What was the deal with the rabbits? When Kilmer and Thewlis arrive on the island, the only thing Kilmer is carrying is a crate of about fifteen bunnies. He then takes them to a cage outdoors and deposits them in an open field. Why? What we can take away from this scene is that A) rabbits aren't indigenous to the island and B ) they aren't being used for experiments, because if they were, I'd assume they would have been taken directly to Moreau's laboratory. The movie makes a huge point of no one on the island eating meat, but here they are just setting out a fuzzy little pu pu platter for the monsters to salivate over. The cage the rabbits are placed into doesn't even have a metal bottom! It's just set directly on the dirt. Aren't rabbits burrowing animals? I guess my point is, if they don't want the Manimals to eat meat, they aren't doing a very good job eliminating their temptation. Is this some kind of weird immersion therapy Moreau's conducting? Wouldn't this be like locking an alcoholic in a liquor store? Also, to Moreau, if you don't want your monsters to eat meat, maybe not conduct 90% of your experiments on carnivorous animals. Seems like you're just making your job harder...
  8. Cameron H.

    EPISODE 109.5 — MINISODE 109.5

    Just finished watching this for the first time in years, and I've gotta say, I'm going to be pretty disappointed if Manimal isn't at least brought up during the episode...
  9. Cameron H.

    EPISODE 109.5 — MINISODE 109.5

    Yes, I think we can all agree Ronald McDonald should be "killed," but "fuck" Grimace and "marry" the Hamburgler?? Everyone knows Grimace is a much more generous lover! The Hamburgler is all about taking and not giving! It's right there in his name! At best he would be good for a rough and tumble one night stand... But...wait a minute. Red hair? Cherubic smile? Is it possible, that behind that mysterious and enigmatic mask, the Hamburgler actually is June? We're one to you, Ms. Raphael! Give us back our damn hamburgers!
  10. Cameron H.

    EPISODE 109.5 — MINISODE 109.5

    I was going to remind everyone of your recommendation as well! I think Mr. Wells would have a lot to say on how closely the movie mirrors his novel... On an unrelated not, I believe Herbert George is pretty good friends with Paul F. Tompkins. He could use the opportunity to pimp his friend's fantastic Spontaneanation podcast!
  11. Dear June, Although I frankly doubt you spend your time scouring the Earwolf message boards, and I know this is a couple of days early, but I just wanted to extend a sincere and heartfelt Happy Mother's Day to HDTGM's resident Momma! Thank you for the humor and delightful insights you bring to each episode. Your baby is still young, and probably has not mastered the art of event planning, but I'm sure Paul is helping him make your Day as un-upsetting as possible. I also hope Sunday contains at least one wacky "switcheroo" scenario that--while frustrating at first, and will most certainly lead to many zany hijinks--will ultimately bring you a better understanding of yourself and the people around you. So thank you and have fun! (Below I have attached a picture of a delicious arrangement of chocolates, which I very much hope you enjoy!) Cameron H. P.S. Don't accept any gifts that are "homemade." That's bullshit and you deserve better. (What is this? A piece of construction paper with my son's handprints? No, thank you!")
  12. Cameron H.

    HDTGM Jams Mega Mix

    Just getting ahead of the game a bit. I really feel like this needs to be here, despite the fact I only got a minute and half into the song before having to turn it off. Seriously, even Vanilla Ice was better than this...
  13. Cameron H.

    Is Rifftrax horrible?

    Hey David, Sounds like you are already going to go, but if you want to see what a Live Rifftrax show is like before you go, it looks like Amazon Instant Video is streaming Rifftrax Live: Sharknado right now. Assuming you have the time today, haven't already purchased your tickets, and have Amazon Prime, you may want to check that out first to see if it's your cup of tea. And to double down on Joven's points, the iRiffs are pretty good. Cinester Theater did riffs for Willow and Frozen which I found hilarious. Also, if you are a fan of Janet Varney, she sometimes does some with Cole Stratton. Their Rifftrax Presents for Dirty Dancing, Ghost, and Footloose are some of my favorites. Michael J Elliott's riffs are also quite good. Hope you have a good time!
  14. Cameron H.

    Is Rifftrax horrible?

    Rifftrax is totally un-horrible! As Entering the BZ said above, it's basically MST3k without the silhouettes (which is apparently a huge sticking point for people when I try to get them into it.) At this point, I actually like it better than MST3k... Honestly, they aren't too expensive. I would suggest just getting one of their mp3's or VOD's and seeing what you think. (Personally, I would recommend Cool as Ice, City of the Dead, or Super Mario Brothers. Personal favs.) The only time they don't really work for me is if the movie itself is really dull. At this point, it is an almost weekly ritual for me to get their latest release.
  15. Cameron H.

    Episode 109 - FACE OFF: LIVE!

    Okay, this may sound crazy, but I am starting to believe Cage's assertion more and more of of this being a love story between Troy and Archer. Fair warning, this may be a long-ish post as I ramble on, talk out of my ass, and try to suss this out. (So...y'know, your typical Cameron H. post) What I have come to believe is that Castor is, at best, asexual and that his true "love/lust" is for Power, and Archer is the physical embodiment of the Power he desires. In other words, he is attracted to the idea of a man of such magnitude he can make a another man shit himself during an interrogation. We don't get a lot of the characters' history together, but I get the vibe it is a real Tom & Jerry situation that started long before the movie started and has continued unabated over the intervening six years. He loves Travolta in the sense that this is the only man he feels challenged by and is therefore worthy of his consideration. As far as sex is concerned, honestly, he doesn't actually seem to be all that interested in it. Prior to their Trans-Face-Fusion, anytime a sexual situation arises in the film it is always less about the actual act and more about the Power. For example, he's not attracted to the choir girl herself, he is attracted to being dressed as a priest and groping a choir girl. Or, for another example, making a stranger "suck his tongue." Why a tongue? Honestly, because it's a pretty gross act that not many people would find enjoyable (either receiving or giving), but an act he is somehow able to command of just random people. Once he becomes Archer, yes he acts creepy toward Travolta's daughter, but he never actually acts upon it. The only time he actually touches her is at the end when he licks her face, not out of sexual desire, but to get into Archer's head. He has sex with Archer's wife, but again, this is less about sex and more about getting at Archer. Archer is the phantasm that haunts Troy and keeps him awake at night. In the end, he doesn't want to have sex with the daughter or wife. What he wants, in his twisted way, is to be Archer--the man he loves--only better! He wants to be a better father (he protects and arms his daughter), husband (he lavishes his wife with the attention that she has been lacking), and cop. Keep in mind, as "Archer" he never actually commits a crime, at least not the terrorist type crimes he was committing before. In fact, he actually uses his new found power and position to dismantle his own operations! He accomplishes more in six days then Archer does in six years. Or, in his own words, "What about when I become an American hero for defusing the bomb? What's that worth?" So, yes, I think that an argument can be made for Troy's love of Archer. Now, I must slink off into a dark, lonely corner and consider the life choices I've made that led me to a place where I would put this much thought and effort into such a shitty, shitty movie...
  16. Cameron H.

    Episode 109 - FACE OFF: LIVE!

    ...No, but check back Friday and they might be able to hook you up...
  17. Cameron H.

    Episode 109 - FACE OFF: LIVE!

    Not really a Correction or Omission, but I guess an observation... I was just wondering, in movies where a character is sent to prison, especially one that flouts Habeas Corpus, when the head prison guard gives the inevitable "your ass is mine" speech, are we supposed to believe this speech is straight off the dome or that it is the approved speech as specified in their Standard Operating Procedures?
  18. Cameron H.

    Episode 109 - FACE OFF: LIVE!

    Hey Dan, welcome to the boards! I had a similar thought, but what I realized was that Castor had called his minions to collect the doctor (and apparently the two agents and all the support staff) who performed the procedure. I assume he was under duress and was told "we'll kill you if you try anything funny." So I guess when given an opportunity to be a hero he opted to capitulate to Castor's requests. I don't know that we can fault the guy for this though... Now, what he should have done (as a previous poster wrote) is not add the bullet scar, move it to the opposite side, or write on his back "IMPOSTER!" in huge, scar block lettering. Something subtle enough that Castor might not recognize it, but something someone who knew Archer really well would would catch. Castor didn't have, or at least Dear God! I hope he didn't have, an encyclopedic knowledge of Archer's body. Shit, tell Castor he needs to be circumcised to complete the illusion while knowing that Archer is uncut. His wife would definitely know something was up then
  19. Cameron H.

    Episode 109 - FACE OFF: LIVE!

    You know what makes even less sense? Physically cutting off a person's face with the intention of sewing it on another person's skull even though you evidentially have the science and the technology to make a perfect ear out of nothing! Why can't they just make a copy of Castor's face? Also, my picks for alternate actors would be Gene Wilder and Richard Pryor. Same script, same director.
  20. Cameron H.

    The signs of a bad movie list

    How about anytime a European actor is cast in a movie as an "All-American" guy despite not being able to do, or even attempt, an American accent? Bonus points if their accent or nationality is never addressed in the movie.
  21. Cameron H.

    Episode 109 - FACE OFF: LIVE!

    Why doesn't anyone in the movie question Archer's sudden and miraculous ability to disarm a disarm-able bomb? Even if it didn't raise any flags, wouldn't the fellas in the bomb squad be interested in how he did it? And yes, like I assume most of you were as well, of course I was frustrated by the sensationalist, lame-stream media who reported that he disarmed the bomb with one second to spare, when the the movie clearly showed he had a full two seconds until it would blow. (But seriously, that is some pretty irresponsible journalism there... I don't mind a reporter saying when a terrorist attack gets thwarted; what I definitely don't want to hear is that the difference between my being a pile of smoldering, plague ridden goo or spending another night mainlining cookie dough ice cream as I watch the latest episode of Fresh of the Boat [Tuesdays on ABC] came down to one fucking second!)
  22. Cameron H.

    Episode 109 - FACE OFF: LIVE!

    What I thought crazy about this scene is as Masterson is trying to rape her he says something to the effect of, "What? Do you think Mr. Invisible (her father) is going to care?" Look dude, maybe the guy is a bit emotionally absent, but do you really think he's really not going to care if you rape his daughter in the driveway? Also, as a bonus observation, do you know what would have solved all of Castor's problems? If the cold open had played out like this: [bLAM!] Whoops, I accidentally shot the kid...[bLAM!!] Archer falls down dead. Castor walks away.
  23. Cameron H.

    Episode 109 - FACE OFF: LIVE!

    So…Castor is in a coma, right? And, as brought up by before, there is no one monitoring, guarding, or otherwise restraining him. When he wakes up, he immediately calls up his cronies and has them rustle up the doctor and the only two FBI agents in on the whole scheme. Here are my questions: 1) How does Castor know where he is? While he was talking to his minions, did he tell them to hold on and take his bloody, faceless ass outside to get the street address? Was it like, “Yeah, it looks like it’s 123 Covert Operations Lane. It’s the large, nondescript government building right across from the Chipotle?” Do government doctor’s involved in clandestine medical procedures keep business cards on their desks? 2) How did they track down everyone they needed so they could perform the operation and eliminate all the witnesses? Did the video Castor is watching begin with the Doctor saying, “Hi, I’m Dr. Benjamin James Spatula and with me are Agents Gillian Sandytoes and Tobias Manhood. Today I will be performing a Face-ectomy on Agent Sean Archer, but first, I would like to provide all of our complete home addresses…”
  24. Cameron H.

    Episode 109 - FACE OFF: LIVE!

    In my opinion, with all the legitimately crazy stuff that happens, the characters in the movie act like explaining the swapping of each other's identities is the most difficult thing to explain in the world. "I took this guy's face to foil a terrorist plot. There was a problem, and he managed to take mine and is now posing as me." There, I just summed it up in less characters than a tweet! Yet, in the film, no one can just say this! I'm not saying people are going to believe you right away, but once you get your foot in the door, it can easily be explained. For instance, Archer calls his wife at her work and the conversation goes something like this: "Listen carefully. the man you think is your husband--isn't." "Who is this?" "Just listen--take Jamie and leave town. Don't tell him where you're going." "Whoever you are--don't call here again." [click] I'm sorry, if I were to get a similar phone call I'd at least be intrigued. I'm not saying I'd believe it right away, but I'd at least hear the person out. Secondly, Archer is going about this in the craziest way possible. She asks, "Who is this?" That's your window of opportunity, man! Instead of immediately making demands of your wife, maybe start trying to explain what's going on. No, she's not going to believe you, but that's when you bust out that intimate moment that only you could know. You know the one. The one you wait to bust out until AFTER she's already proved you're telling the truth. And then, later, Archer tries to get his wife to take Jamie and get out of town instead of going to the funeral, knowing the situation is going to be dangerous. At this point, his wife says, "Okay, Jamie won't be there, but I'm the only person who will be able to explain this zaniness. So I guess have to be there..." Actually, you know what would be better? You take your daughter, go to his office, bring the conclusive DNA evidence you've collected, and explain to everyone at the FBI what's going on! It's all about communication people! Seriously guys, I just don't think Sean and his wife have what it takes to make it last...
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