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Big McLargehuge

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Everything posted by Big McLargehuge

  1. Some random observations: -Idris Elba can smash through walls ‘n stuff cuz he’s a cyborg, but Vin Diesel can smash through a concrete wall (see Fast Five) because...? -In the beginning, AFTER Idris Elba kills a whole platoon of soldiers, his three henchmen roll up on their motorcycles and I thought they were gonna be in trouble for being late. -RULE OF THUMB: If you’re chasing someone in a car and you’re on a motorcycle, you WILL crash and fly off that thing. I learned that as kid in Never Say Never Again. (Conversely, if you’re ON a motorcycle and being chased, you will evade capture through an alleyway.) TFATF and Fast Five both reinforce this trope. -The villain’s plot (make half the world bionic, genocide everyone else) seems like it’s half Thanos, half The Borg. -The running gag about going on three reminds me of a similar runner in Lethal Weapon 2. I guess take whatever you want from those movies. Nobody should watch Mel Gibson movies anymore. They belong to the alt-right now. -Whenever they touched on the recurring theme of Family, I could hear Vinnie Deez saying “Fam-Uh-Wee” -This marks the first F&F movie where the comic relief mostly didn’t make me want to kill my self. -I didn’t need any of those cameos besides Helen Mirren and Rob Delaney. Why is Deadpool here? -As set up in Fast Five, nitrous can make your car not only go faster but much heavier so it can pull stuff like vaults and choppers. -Momma Shaw’s prison jewelry must’ve cost a fortune in cigarettes. -I giggled when, after battling shirtless, Hobbs quickly puts on a shirt as he’s diving into the back of the pickup (because continuity is a priority even though it was nighttime three minutes ago). Guess he didn’t want to get chilly chasing choppers. * *I was having some fun with alliteration there
  2. Those spinning hand blades are a great weapon if a) you are fighting up close, which is always ideal for fighting giant monsters and things that fly, and b) if you want to blind your opponent with your own wrist blood.
  3. Big McLargehuge

    Episode 200 - Action Jackson: LIVE!

    When I found out my babysitter’s dad edited this movie, I was so excited that I raced to twitter to write the following thread.
  4. Big McLargehuge

    Episode 199 - A Night In Heaven: LIVE!

    I saw this movie when I was five years old. I didn’t rewatch it before listening to the podcast. The only parts I remember are the scene at the end when he gets abandoned with no clothes on in the boat and when the lady passes out at the sight of the stripper’s wiener. Both scenes horrified me enough that they stayed with me all these years. The rest is such a blur that listening to the podcast was like hearing comedians make fun of a dream you barely remember having.
  5. Big McLargehuge

    The Kiss (1988)

    In the 80s, we as culture were terrified of the female body, what with the bleeding and the reproduction and the myth of the clitoris, etc. This film is the product of that era. It stars Meredith Salenger from the Journey of Natty Gann, Joanna Pacula from Gorky Park, and Shawn Levy* from Zombie Nightmare, and I SWEAR I'M NOT MAKING ANY OF THOSE CREDITS UP! (©Dave Barry) OH, and there's a hellcat that receives no explanation or preamble. Just kinda shows up to jump out at people occasionally. It's really stupid looking, so I think you'll enjoy it. If you want a DVD of this movie, you have to either buy a bootleg which may or may not play or you can shell out several hundred dollars for an actual DVD or you can watch it on youtube. I recommend NONE of these methods, however. Why? Read on. Will this movie get covered on the show? Not likely. Is it worth watching? I think so. Is it worthy of the rifftrax treatment? I also think so. What idiot would waste his/her time doing such a thing? MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! https://youtu.be/2_Ix9FLmCGE The wife and I like making these. I just wish more people watched them. In a different thread, I posted a link to this other riff I made: http://youtu.be/11jXg-G_sGM I think one of you watched it (which I was thrilled about, really). This time around, CAN WE GET THAT NUMBER TO TWO?! Give me something to be thankful for this Thanksgiving and give this riff a chance. Thank you for your time. *The pony-tailed douche in this movie is a big-time director/producer nowadays. He directed the Night at the Museum trilogy as well as several episodes of Stranger Things, INCLUDING THE ONE WHERE BARB DIES! If you wanna see that guy get mauled to death by a hand puppet, you should really check this thing out.
  6. Big McLargehuge

    Meltdown (2012)

    You're proving my point: there's a lot to unpack with this movie and it would make a great episode of the podcast, but I doubt they would ever do a movie NOBODY's ever heard of. That's why I took matters into my own hands. The world needs to know about Meltdown!
  7. Big McLargehuge

    Meltdown (2012)

    Shot on location in Wisconsin. Co-starring Robert Z'Dar and Joe Estevez (in a bona fide Soultaker reunion)! It is cheap, hideous, non-sensical, and largely inaudible. Everyone who gets shot is wearing a fresh Hanes undershirt with a VERY visible squib beneath. The two actors I mentioned above are the only professional actors in it. Drug dealers and federal agents are played by kindly old men and twenty-something computer programmer guys respectively. The bad guys' hideout is a music classroom, and it is never explained why. And just wait till you see the bad guy's meeting in the strip "club". (I won't spoil it here, but it is truly wonderful.) I think this one has the potential to be the next midnight sensation ala Birdemic and The Room, but not many people know about it. Let's fix that. The whole thing is on youtube: http://youtu.be/czaY_3peEz4 You're welcome. P.S. I doubt this will ever get on HDTGM, but I'd love you guys and gals to check it out and we can have our own fun right here in this thread. There's a LOT to dissect.
  8. Big McLargehuge

    Meltdown (2012)

    When you're done consuming turkey, try consuming THIS turkey! But seriously, gang, I have officially riffed this movie. You can watch the wife and I provide commentary (absolutely free, already synced up) here: http://youtu.be/11jXg-G_sGM I only ask that if you like it, share it with others. Enjoy your Thanksgiving!
  9. Big McLargehuge

    Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Garcia

    Close enough
  10. Big McLargehuge

    Last Action Hero (1993)

    In the previously-mentioned troubled third act, fake Schwarzenegger meets real-life Schwarznegger and says: "I don't like you. You've brought me nothing but pain." (Or something like that. I don't feel like researching it.) Can anyone tell me what this means? It's haunted me ever since the 90s. Which script doctor snuck that crap in? I'd like to punch him* in his stupid body. What kind of person would write such a thing? Why?! *How do I know it's not a "she"? BECAUSE, that's why! (Also, it messes up my punching fantasy.) UNRELATED THOUGHT: I was watching the bonus features on the Collateral Damage DVD (because I hate free time apparently) and in one of the outtakes, Schwarzenegger says, "Of all the movies I've done, this one is the most recent." I still think that's a good-ass joke.
  11. Big McLargehuge

    Girls Just Want to Have Fun (1985)

    Instead of fun, I JUST WANT TO update the link to the riff referenced in the first post because I lack shame. (The iRiff section of Rifftrax has been down for close to a year now.) https://gumroad.com/l/NtZr Here's a sample clip/trailer kind of thing: Thanks to Joven for purchasing my sillies.
  12. Big McLargehuge

    Ricochet (1991)

    I like the part where the prisoners get out of their cells in the middle of the night (Story of Ricky-style, because I guess they're on the honor system) not to escape, but to do battle in the kitchen wearing suits of armor made out of pots and pans and other crap. This movie's awesome.
  13. Big McLargehuge

    Masterminds (1997)

    I almost thought this thread was for this movie and I got concerned. [media='']http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xzk7ohprYrs[/media] This movie is mostly dog shit, but the last twenty minutes or so (which includes an extended gun battle in which people hide behind a salad bar sneeze guard) is totally awesome. No glass is harmed in the making of this film. All glass shattered effects are done digitally, meaning that when the camera shakes the broken glass graphics float around in front of the glass that's supposed to have bullet holes in it. Also, Tila Tequila is a wonderful actress. Not suggesting this one for the show, but just in case you happen upon it streaming anywhere, you're better off skipping to act III. Anyway, you guys and gals go back to talking about your other Masterminds film. It sounds fun.
  14. Big McLargehuge

    The Other Sister (1999)

    Just want to share a story I heard from Hadrian Belove, curator of the Cinefamily Theatre in L.A. He got to speak with Giovanni Ribisi regarding this very role. His recollection of Garry Marshall's two directions are as follows: "Remember, you're playing a mentally handicapped young man," and, "Not so retarded!" (I find it extra hilarious when I imagine PFT as Garry Marshall saying it.)
  15. Big McLargehuge

    Cyborg (1989)

    Literally-literally or HDTGM-literally?
  16. Big McLargehuge

    Miami Connection (1987)

    I have this and "Friends" in my workout playlist. Plyometrics for eternity!
  17. Big McLargehuge

    Reach Me

    Now available on home video! (I think I'm pressing this issue because I want other people to see it so I know I didn't imagine watching this insane thing.)
  18. Big McLargehuge


    I'm honored to be the SECOND Space Mutiny reference in today's HDTGM minisode. Congrats also to Blast Hardcheese. Smoke Manmuscle, you need to get your game up, son.
  19. Big McLargehuge

    Rage (2014)

    This movie contains the best Nic Cage freak outs I've ever seen. Maybe not the best HDTGM candidate, but a prime candidate for a youtube super-cut.
  20. Big McLargehuge

    Reach Me

    This opens in theaters today. 22 on metacritic. Can we just talk about this clip below? http://www.rottentom...ailer/11205736/ (When assaulting Sally Kellerman and her daughter or whatever, no matter how many men you have, sniper cover is a necessity.)
  21. Big McLargehuge


    I own the soundtrack to this film. That is all. I will not be taking any follow up questions.
  22. Big McLargehuge

    God's Not Dead

    You just reminded me of the Asian kid, whose dad actually said to him, "Sign the 'God is dead' paper so you can get your grade and shut up already." When he's introduced as being from the Republic of China, someone asks, "Seriously?" And he goes: "Oh, yes. In China, always serious." And NOW I just remembered that Sorbo's character was dating a believer and at a dinner party that she probably put a lot of effort into preparing, he and his atheist friends all take turns making fun of her. And the scene where Sorbo is collecting the signed papers with "God is dead" written on them, he comments: "Ooh, 'god' is lower-case on this one. Think I'll give you extra credit." *Look, I know I put a lot of stuff in quotes that might not be word-for-word quotes, because c'mon I'm not a stenographer!
  23. Big McLargehuge

    God's Not Dead

    My favorite part of this film is when the Muslim girl's little brother catches her listening to the bible on her iPod, then tells her super fundamentalist dad. The dad then rushes into her room, lifts her up (with one arm, like how you would carry a bundle of coats), carries her through the house and throws her out the front door. She gets back up and gives him one last pleading look. He slowly raises his hand to her face, presumably to gently stroke her cheek, but no. He puts his hand around her neck and starts to strangle her. Anybody who's not a Christian in this movie is a piece of shit. RE: K to the Herc. Sorbo has a great slow clapping scene after one of our hero's ineffectual rebuttals, too. And he only gets run over by a car AFTER he decides to attend the Christian rock concert to see what this whole Jesus thing is all about. But God is like, "EFF that! You said I was dead so I'm gonna puncture your organs with your shattered rib bones." And what's great about THAT scene is the slow motion overhead shot of Sorbo actually getting hit by the car. He goes airborne over the top of the car and looks to the sky with a face that's all, "Good one, God. You got me." I've seen this four times (three times for work and once to show my wife because I love watching her yell "WTF!?" at the TV) and I can safely say that this is perfect HDTGM material.
  24. Big McLargehuge


  25. Big McLargehuge


    I worked on the DVD and BluRay for this movie. I watched it three times in English, once in French, once in Spanish, and listened to the commentary twice (which features the Director and the two least famous girls who played Miley's friends in the movie). That's seven times the poultry action. Some points that reading this thread reminded me of: Three generations of raspy-ness split between Miley, Demi and Marlo Thomas. Marlo wins the rasp-off, because you can't mess with experience. Early on in the film when Miley is texting her BFF, you can see on the phone where it says "Unknown Number". She never bothered to enter her life-long guy-buddy's name into her phone? "So Undercover" was slightly better, but only because there was no way to go any lower. I need a new job.