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Everything posted by Nerdlove

  1. Nerdlove

    EPISODE 105.5 — MINISODE 105.5

    Anyone else getting a "Tinfins" vibe from this movie?
  2. Nerdlove

    EPISODE 105 — Safe Haven

    Normally, I'm the world's biggest sap and I cry at the drop of a hat. I cry at commercials sometimes. I fully love the movie "Where the Heart Is." But this movie just left me... meh. I didn't buy into the romance of between Katie and Alex at all. Their chemistry was... like... Canadian.
  3. Nerdlove

    EPISODE 104 — ZARDOZ 2

    I originally came to HDTGM because of June. I fell in love with her watching "Burning Love" -- she was so brilliantly funny right out of the gate, first ep when her character couldn't remember the quote she wanted to say to Ken Marino's character -- that I thought, "why is this woman not a household name? what else has she done? because I am *there*." And then I found HDTGM. Now of course I love all three of them, especially how they function together (they've got a Kirk/Spock/Bones thing going on, really -- a perfect ego/superego/id kind of balance). But June was my way in. So... yeah, I've been down with JDR this whole time. Whatever assistant reads these posts, be sure to pass along the love to JDR if you can, ok? Because we love her!
  4. Nerdlove

    Episode 101 — Xanadu: LIVE!

    So, the ongoing joke of HDTGM is that they never actually answer the question, "How DID this movie get made?" Well, guys, if you really want to know how Xanadu got made, here you go. http://www.donosdump.../chapter01.html Be afraid, be very afraid; it's re-e-eally long, and written by someone who has, perhaps, not the strongest grasp on English. But it's pretty fascinating, if you have the time and patience. One thing that the link explains is the mural. Paul wondered, what relevance did the mural have to not-Andy-Gibb-guy? Apparently, earlier versions of the script made it clear that not-Andy-Gibb-guy DID in fact paint that mural, but in the flurry of rewrites and re-editing, the director/editors managed to mangle the plot so badly that the mural's origins got lost completely. Also? As part of the promo machine of the movie, Marvel put out a rushed-job Xanadu comic book. Seriously. Guys, it's a thing that exists. And.... you can read the entire thing here at this link: http://www.onlyolivi.../xanadu/marvel/ It's pretty amazing. My favorite part is on page 37, "The Making of Xanadu": I would have to disagree categorically on both levels. You did not have a great story to begin with, and in fact, it was already more or less a two-dimensional medium, both literally and metaphorically.
  5. Nerdlove

    Episode 100.5 — Minisode 100.5

    honestly my best advice is to move to Colorado so you can legally get stoned watching this movie b/c otherwise it's difficult to fathom getting through it. I mean, we've watched movies that were more bonkers than this but somehow this one is special. At least this movie isn't as bad as "The Apple," which is like if you took Xanadu, took out the majority of the talent, replaced the pretty decent music with terrible music, and added a religious subtext that is basically just text. ::ugh::
  6. Nerdlove

    Episode 99 — A View To a Kill: LIVE

    Oh, and are we not going to discuss this happening? After Grampa Bond steals the firetruck, these two police cars seem to crash into each other and.. fuse? Seriously, what is going ON here? The cops shout at each other from their windows, "We're locked up!" (I think?), and then just... keep driving...but stuck together. It reminds me of what June said about the skiing scene, that Bond snowboarding made the bad guys forget how to ski. Apparently, Bond driving a fire truck made these police officers forget how to drive. And made cars forget how to... car.
  7. Nerdlove

    Episode 99 — A View To a Kill: LIVE

    Man, I thought that as a former English major this would be my turn to shine -- I caught both "Jenny Flex/genuflects" and the normal pronunciation of St. John right off. (Can anyone think of a more erudite blow job joke in modern cinema? Because I can't.) But I'm late to the party. So I'll just share this little video from Jane Eyre. About 30 seconds in, someone pronounces St. John as "Sinjin" so you can all hear for yourself. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BkO51g7oXnw I also wanted to say: Did anyone else get this sense, watching the movie, that Bond would have old man smell? Like that indefinable thing that seems to start oozing out of old white dudes once they're past about 65? ::shudder::
  8. Nerdlove

    Episode 98 — LOL: LIVE!

    For the person above who suggested that Miley and whichever-shit-dick-it-was fuck for the first time, it would ruin the sheets, I just feel the need to point out that the whole "girls bleed the first time they have sex" thing is a fallacy. The girl generally won't bleed if she's actually completely turned on. Sex shouldn't be painful, even the first time. Sex ed in this country (and others) is really awful, and people walk around thinking "yeah it's going to hurt the first time" so it's like they don't even try to make sure it won't.... Which it won't if you spend enough time on foreplay and if the girl is really relaxed and into it. So yeah, no, they wouldn't necessarily ruin the sheets, if they used a condom and didn't get too wild. Just sayin'.
  9. Nerdlove

    Episode 97 — Rhinestone: LIVE!

    Not related to Rhinestone, but related to bad movies -- did you guys see this? The actors from "The Room" (minus Greg Sestero and Tommy Wiseau) are making a short film about life after being in the worst movie of all time. It's fictionalized, but it looks like it's going to be pretty funny. Even if you think you don't want to kick in to the kickstarter, you should go watch the little video intro they put up. The guy who played Denny looks older than everyone else in the cast now -- I mean, I couldn't even figure out who he was at first. They've already met their funding goal, but they're hoping to raise more money to make the film a bit longer, so I hope more people kick in because I think it's going to turn out really funny. Sorry for the off-topic comment but I figured that anyone reading this forum would be interested in this! And now, back to our regularly scheduled HDTGM commentary.
  10. Nerdlove

    Episode 97 — Rhinestone: LIVE!

    It was toward the end, when Dolly said to Sly, "You've given me nothing more than brown eyed agony!" I sat there blinking at the screen for a moment, then turned to Urban Dictionary. And... sure, whatever, that makes as much sense as anything. And yeah, Hypnotizing Chickens, I found myself sort of obsessed with the bizarre dialog in this movie. (here's my whole long recap thinger, complete with screenshots and links to Youtube clips and all sorts of random comments, because like a lot of people on this board, I found this movie very... upsetting. If you still haven't seen the movie, you might be able to make do by skimming my recap, or anyway looking at the screenshots/Youtube clips.)
  11. Nerdlove

    Episode 97 — Rhinestone: LIVE!

    If you follow this link to the box office from the week Rhinestone was released, you'll see that the top 5 were: 1. Ghostbusters 2. Gremlins 3. Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom 4. Rhinestone 5. Karate Kid Romancing the Stone was in #11, Police Academy was #12, Sixteen Candles was #14, and Spinal Tap was #19. So many good movies (or at least, fun classics that people remember) all out at the same time! And then there's Rhinestone...
  12. Nerdlove

    Episode 97 — Rhinestone: LIVE!

    How did you guys NOT discuss the Clockwork-Orange esque table at Freddie's house? Or the row of sex dolls that are just hanging on the wall there? But the biggest question of all: What is going on here? Jake's dad looks directly down at her tits and says, "Mercy, don't you look sassy?" Jason, for someone as turned on by incest as you claim to be, I would have thought you'd hone right in on this.
  13. Nerdlove

    Episode 96.5 — Minisode 96.5

    I know, Fudgie. Something about it just really... got to me. Like, Temptation made me angry at all the misogyny, and Stayin' Alive was so relentlessly silly, but Rhinestone was just so.... It's as if Stallone was TRYING to make an awful movie and Dolly was trying to make a cute one and everyone else involved thought they were making a drama and... I don't know, man.
  14. Nerdlove

    Episode 96.5 — Minisode 96.5

    So... first off, yes to basically everything above about loving the Q&A and wanting more Jason and June in on Q&A segments! Secondly, so I thought I'd put together a list of all the various youtube clips I could find of Rhinestone and put them in order, for people who couldn't find the movie. And then I thought I'd add a little commentary in between the clips to help people follow the plot, and then I was home sick for a day or two and the whole thing got out of hand with screengrabs and stuff. So... yeah, if you can't watch the actual movie for whatever reason, you can read my summary/review/thing and see the video clips and screengrabs instead. Or if you just can't wait for the podcast to get some snark, you can read the summary/review/thing anyway for the heck of it. Part 1 and Part 2. I'm an amateur; be kind.
  15. Nerdlove

    Episode 96.5 — Minisode 96.5

    Ok, just everything about this clip is Next Level Bonkers, from the guy who keeps putting salt in his beer (???) to the super-foamy beer to just... I can't.
  16. Nerdlove

    Episode 96.5 — Minisode 96.5

    So... are we to understand that the best way to learn to be a country music star is to 1. stand on the front porch with other country stars and sing "Tutti Frutti" and 2. mix yr peas with yr taters? Wow. I sometimes mix my peas with my taters, so I'm halfway there! But I've never suffered jock itch so maybe it's hopeless. In other news, everyone looked so young in this movie that I had to check on their ages. The movie was made in 1984, and Stallone and Dolly were both born in 1946, making them both 38 or so for the making of this movie! Stallone looked about 25 to me and Dolly a bit older, with that cloud of white hair, but still younger than 38. Crazy. In other news: how do you even get your hair to look like that? Are those wigs? I assume that June will know, because she knows a LOT about wigs -- more even than she knows about tornadoes. Dolly is so cute and charismatic in this movie, but her line delivery is so awful. She was nominated for some Golden Globes for other movies she was in, but wow... in this movie, not so much. :: resisting the urge to make some sort of joke about Dolly Parton and Golden Globes now :: Here's another script that Sly Stallone "rewrote", and in this case, apparently the screenwriter tried to get his name taken off the movie. I'd say more but they're probably going to get into it in the podcast so I won't. Edited to add: this is from Roger Ebert's review of the movie: "One final fashion note. Dolly Parton is, of course, justly famous for her figure. It is presented in this movie with as much rigidity as the exhibit of presidential wives' inaugural gowns in the Smithsonian. The fabrics and colors change, but the basic design configuration remains identical in one dress after another, until her bosom takes on a sort of objective unreality, like Mr. Spock's ears."
  17. Nerdlove

    Dragon Wars: D-War (2007)

    You know, JustinL, I think you're right -- they might be shying away because they know people in it. A lot of cool actors were in this movie, in fact, and you can tell that they're struggling with the crap material. Meryl Streep would have struggled with this material, so I don't blame them. But I think Paul & Co. should use that to their advantage. Seriously, I think they should TOTALLY do this one and get Craig Robinson (this guy: http://en.wikipedia....son_%28actor%29 ) to be their guest. It's a perfect fit -- he's probably a friend of theirs, or a friend of a friend, since he's been on Reno 911, and he's legitimately really funny. Plus, natch, he was actually in this movie. He looked really uncomfortable in a lot of scenes, I think because he knew it was such a load of crap. Also, Robert Forrester -- this guy http://www.imdb.com/..._=ttfc_fc_cl_t3 -- had a bit role on NTSF:SD:SUV at some point, so maybe Paul could call him. He played it completely straight, as if he had no idea how crap the movie was. He's been in tons of stuff and is generally good, so I'd like to think that this movie didn't hurt him too much. Billy Gardell (Mike from "Mike and Molly) was also in it, mugging away. I'd suggest trying to get him on as a guest too but he's probably too big a star nowadays. And poor Elizabeth Pena. She had such a beautiful speaking voice and was always somehow so elegant, even in pieces of crap like this movie. May she rest in peace. Fun fact: the main actress in the movie (the one who plays Sara) is a trust-fund baby, the daughter of the guy who wrote the song "You Light Up My Life," and her brother was convicted of strangling his girlfriend to death. http://www.nydailyne...ticle-1.1396514 Another fun fact: I actually saw this movie in the theater. Really. I did. I don't know. Blame my boyfriend at the time. If you guys can't quite stand to watch it, the Rifftrax commentary on it is pretty funny. (JustinL links to a "best of" above, but I think you really need to watch the whole thing to get into the rhythm of the commentary.)
  18. Nerdlove

    Episode 96 — Monkey Shines

    I tried so hard to understand June's point, and I think part of the problem is that she was arguing a lot of different things at the same time, and her point got muddled. A lot of the things she was saying were things that many people would generally agree with, such as: a. it's bad to mistreat animals in general b. animals are always animals, even when they're well-trained c. forcing animals to perform in movies may represent an ethical issue So, all that, I'm on board with, for the most part. Where I got confused was with her whole crediting six monkeys instead of one thing. So I listened to that part of the podcast again, and I think I understand. This is the best I can do to summarize her point: If we as a society watch movies like this, and then we see in the movie's credits that one single monkey did all the "acting," then we as a society will get a mistaken impression about the capabilities of monkeys, and this in turn will feed the dangerous trend of anthropomorphizing animals. Anthropomorphizing animals is dangerous because if we judge animals by human standards, we might think of the animals as pests, or even "sinful" murderers, when ultimately, animals do things for animal reasons that have nothing to do with good or evil. Ultimately, when a Franken-monkey kills your ex-girlfriend, it's humanity's fault for making a Franken-monkey in the first place. Or put somewhat more succinctly: This movie teaches the wrong lesson, which is that animals who do bad things are just as culpable as humans who do bad things, and the credits, which give the mistaken impression that one monkey did all this work instead of six, lend credence to our belief in monkeys' agency to do human-like harm. I think...?
  19. Nerdlove

    Episode 94.5 — Minisode 94.5

    I'm so glad that the new episodes are coming out soon! I wish I lived on the West Coast so I could listen at midnight. I might have to get up early on Wednesday just to listen to it because I need closure on this bizarre movie. (BTW: Thanks guys for making such a fun podcast even when you're so busy. )
  20. Nerdlove

    The Apple (1980)

    Please, movies like this are why this podcast exists. It's the most amazing thing ever. (And if people feel like they can't bring themselves to watch something so painful, you can always watch the Rifftrax version.)
  21. Nerdlove

    Perfect (1985)

    Holy crap. What. Is. Happening????? Considering that "Staying Alive" is probably my favorite episode of the show ever, this looks like it could be almost as good.
  22. Nerdlove

    Shaolin Soccer

    For me, this movie isn't "so bad it's good," it's just plain ole' good. I don't think it would give them much fodder to talk about. Just my take on it.