Jump to content
🔒 The Earwolf Forums are closed Read more... ×

Spunky Foonerism

Members
  • Content count

    1000
  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won

    27

Everything posted by Spunky Foonerism

  1. F.) Scheme together with your mean-girl friends to have your Work Enemy elected homecoming queen, but then on the big day reveal that it was all just a prank and she's actually totally unpopular. Have the homecoming king spit on her hair and push her off the stage.
  2. Steve I think your intellectual curiosity is wonderful and should be encouraged. I am a man of science myself, and also a former anatomy instructor, so I am happy to help you out. Here's a scientific illustration of a capybara's penis:
  3. Oh shit dude, now that you've looked at them, they're on your drive too! You HAVE to report that person to Interpol or else you'll get in trouble too. Then again, I've heard rumors about a secretive, but very highly placed person within the internet authorities who can take troublesome files off your hands. Don't say I told you this, but the way to call him is to go to the google homepage and search "Do people actually eat each other's butts during sex?"
  4. Yes! The big one is a nutria, the small one is a muskrat.
  5. Here are two of the rodents I see sometimes out in the marshes. Can you guess what they are? Here's a hint, neither of them is remotely as cute as any of the rodents you've posted. Despite the size difference, they are pretty ecologically similar. I find their skeletons all the time, either in alligator nests or following hurricanes because they drown all over the place. The nail clippers are a size reference for you, and also a reminder to me that I need to clip my nails. Shit, and a reminder to YOU to clip YOUR nails. Edit: Too scary, also mouse skellington. Edit-edit: Neither of these is a mouse skull, I just wanted to be the first to make such a funny joke. Sorry, couldn't pass it up!
  6. This is going to sound crazy, but I actually recommend listening to this week's episode a second time. Yes, obviously it is really good and funny the first time through with lots of funny good jokes, but here's the thing... if you go back and re-listen to it, all those same good jokes ARE STILL THERE! It's like you get twice the enjoyment of listening to it once. Try it, you'll see that I'm right.
  7. Agata and Gabe and July, you guys did such a good job, I think you've single-handedly saved the Hollywood Handbook. At least temporarily. Hmm. Three-handedly? No, six-handedly. Anyway, I feel like its been going down the tubes lately, I don't know if there is a rift between the two main guys or what but honestly one or the other one has been really phoning it in on almost every episode for WEEKS. You three really brought them together again and the positive energy was palpable. It seems like, for the time being, all is well in Handbookheadland. So....what's Cody like in real life?
  8. Spunky Foonerism

    EPISODE 111 — Mike O'Brien, Our Close Friend

    hahaha I just changed my avatar to a krampus! Wheeeee!
  9. Spunky Foonerism

    EPISODE 111 — Mike O'Brien, Our Close Friend

    Check this shit out, motherfuckers! BREAD LOOOOOAAAAAAF!!!! I'm very thankful that God made me the number one bakerman in the whole world.
  10. Spunky Foonerism

    EPISODE 111 — Mike O'Brien, Our Close Friend

    I'm making a classic dish. It's called "bread loaf," maybe you should try it sometime.
  11. Spunky Foonerism

    EPISODE 111 — Mike O'Brien, Our Close Friend

    Using your dead dad to set up a forum punchline is a very risky move Houston. I hope you thought long and hard about whether your dad would like your joke, otherwise you are in for such a haunting! Haha who am I kidding, its so funny I'm sure he loves it. I bet he is rolling around down there, laughing!
  12. Spunky Foonerism

    EPISODE 111 — Mike O'Brien, Our Close Friend

    On this day every year, I like to stand up and formally give thanks that it isn't Thanksgiving until tomorrow. Because I'm so far behind on my preparations! Rofl.
  13. Spunky Foonerism

    EPISODE 111 — Mike O'Brien, Our Close Friend

    I would eat nothing but fruit if I could. I literally love the stuff. All kinds, even weird exotic ones like grapefruits and apricots. I am like a human fruitbat or something. Then again, maybe I'm more like a flying fox, which is very clever inside joke making reference to my last name. I'd explain it, but that would take too long, and I'm not sure I'm ready to share personal info with a bunch of internet trolls. Podcast was good this week, I thought the main podcast guys and also the guest were all very funny. It must be fun to be a podcast host and get to become friends with so many funny cool guests.
  14. Spunky Foonerism

    EPISODE 111 — Mike O'Brien, Our Close Friend

    Chanson knows the rules, he just chooses to break them. THAT is the difference. (like from the podcast. you get it.)
  15. Spunky Foonerism

    EPISODE 111 — Mike O'Brien, Our Close Friend

    I'm familiar with the comic book, which is very good. I have high expectations about that show but haven't started watching it yet. My wife is reluctant to watch it with me because she says the main actress is a real B. This is a good joke, because she was the main actress in another show called The Untrustworthy Old B Living in an Apartment. B stands for Bitch. But seriously, she doesn't like that actress. Edit: here's a little original entertaining content for those of you who are bored by discussion of the arts. This is my dog Ross. He's a puggle/direwolf hybrid and he can read minds.
  16. Spunky Foonerism

    EPISODE 111 — Mike O'Brien, Our Close Friend

    Everything used to be different before. It's different nowadays, though. Nowadays everything is the same.
  17. Spunky Foonerism

    EPISODE 110 — Handbook East with Tom Scharpling

    That is no kind of name for a dog!
  18. Spunky Foonerism

    EPISODE 110 — Handbook East with Tom Scharpling

    Untitled Batkid Project
  19. Spunky Foonerism

    EPISODE 110 — Handbook East with Tom Scharpling

    Yesterday was my one year anniversary of joining the forums. Thanks for not noticing, dickheads.
  20. Spunky Foonerism

    EPISODE 110 — Handbook East with Tom Scharpling

    I am listening to chicknsandwich's podcast right now. I thought I had heard funny podcasts before, but now I realize that those were all SHIT and this is the really funny podcast. My neighbors are all banging on my door telling me to stop laughing so loud. My dogs are lying on the floor with their paws over their ears. The glass on my fishtank is starting to crack. I can barely type this because I have to keep putting my index fingers into my earholes to try and drown out the sound of my own laughing. No I'm kidding about all that. But I AM laughing a lot. Just not especially loudly.
  21. Spunky Foonerism

    EPISODE 110 — Handbook East with Tom Scharpling

    It's true that with no limit on likes, and so many new forumers, my likes-per-post ratio has been skyrocketing. But it all feels so hollow to me. My therapist says its because posting funny things on a podcast forum is never going to get the one like I am really chasing. I guess what I'm saying is if you are my dad, please click like on this. Also, come around sometime. It won't be weird, I just want to get to know you better.
  22. Spunky Foonerism

    EPISODE 110 — Handbook East with Tom Scharpling

    Click like if you think this is a good photo of my dog in his halloween costume! Also, see if you can guess the costume. Time's up! He's Dennis Hopper. Edit: that's very funny because his name is Dennis, and now that he only has three legs he hops all over the place just like Dennis Hopper used to do. Edit: Podcast was good, but that's becoming pretty boring to me. Maybe they should mix it up a little and do something bad that makes me unhappy to listen to.
  23. Spunky Foonerism

    EPISODE 109 — The ScuzzMan Returns

    Here's my ranking. 1. Hollywood Handbook 2. Hand 3. Book T4. Holly and Wood Hollywood handbook, obviously, is number one, because it is so good. It was a tough choice between hand and book for number two, because I've enjoyed the comfort of many a good book in my time, because I am so smart and like to read. Then again, hand has been an even bigger comfort to me in my lonely times (i'm talking about masturbating my penis lolol), and also I rely on that guy for almost everything. I couldn't even be typing this without him. Holly and wood were very hard for me to rate as well because holly is actually a kind of wood, which you would know if you went outside and looked at some trees instead of lurking in the dark on an internet webpage every day. In the end i went with a ranking based on Holly Hunter and Ed Wood, which came out as a tie.
  24. Spunky Foonerism

    EPISODE 109 — The ScuzzMan Returns

    If there's two, they stand on each other's shoulders and wear an overcoat so they can get into r-rated movies.
  25. Spunky Foonerism

    EPISODE 109 — The ScuzzMan Returns

    Hey have you guys heard about the kudzu bug? It's a type of stink bug in the family Plataspididae, its scientific name is Megacopta cribraria, and it's been spreading across the southeastern United States since its arrival from China in 2009. I know what you're thinking. "Spunky, isn't it GOOD if a new bug shows up that infests kudzu? Kudzu is a terrible invasive plant in that region, as everyone knows." Well, you aren't wrong about that, my friend, but unfortunately this little fellow reaches such epic outbreak population levels that it can be a nuisance to people (it is a stink bug after all, hahaha), and what's worse is that it also feeds on other economically important legumes such as soybean and possibly alfalfa. Anyway, I just thought that if you didn't already know about the kudzu bug, maybe it's time you learned. Thanks for reading and go suck a fat dick, honkeys! Haha just kidding, you don't have to.
×