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Spunky Foonerism

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Everything posted by Spunky Foonerism

  1. Spunky Foonerism

    EPISODE 121 — Maria Thayer, Our Close Friend

    Ok so if you'll refer back to my OP, I predicted that this episode would be good. Well, I was right and all you haters who doubted me can officially suck my buns! Yeah, I'm talking to you, haters, you know who you are. Anyway, I think there is a special mood on episodes where Sean and Hayes are meeting the guest for the first time - its a little nerve-wracking at first, but then when they nail it and it is so funny and good there is such sweet relief and also the joy that they have made another close friend. Edit: PS I just have one last word for my haters. You, my haters, are also my motivators. And my masturbators. You also probably have little stumpy arms like alligators. Suck my hard buns.
  2. Spunky Foonerism

    EPISODE 121 — Maria Thayer, Our Close Friend

    Oh man I bet this is going to be good. Check back with me later, after I've listened to it and I will be sure to let you know what I think!
  3. Spunky Foonerism

    EPISODE 120 — Brandon Gardner, Our Close Friend

    I hope I can sneak this in under the wire - Hollywood Handbook podcast was really good this week. I enjoyed all the funny parts very much!
  4. Spunky Foonerism

    EPISODE 120 — Brandon Gardner, Our Close Friend

    I think you're supposed to fuck the drain-hole. Edit: shit, was that supposed to be for the guest? sorry for giving away the correct answer.
  5. Spunky Foonerism

    EPISODE 120 — Brandon Gardner, Our Close Friend

    Like any rational, science-minded individual, I fully accept that love-feelings are just a certain combination of chemicals and electricity in the brain. Do you know exactly which chemicals and how much electricity? So far everything I've tried has actually made my cat hate me MORE.
  6. Spunky Foonerism

    EPISODE 120 — Brandon Gardner, Our Close Friend

    I don't have erections very often, but when I do they always last for exactly 3 hours and 59 minutes. So I'll probably be fine, right?
  7. Spunky Foonerism

    EPISODE 119 — Friends, Our Close Friends

    Well two things about that. One is that my rage was so incoherent that I can't be held responsible for the noises coming out of my yell-hole. The other is that the letters "n" and "g" when placed right next to each other make a single phoneme, you may be familiar with it from words that end in "ng." As I wrote it, it signifies a half-swallowed screaming sound that opens up into a full-throated roar of rage. But I'm glad you're looking out for me, my friend!
  8. Spunky Foonerism

    EPISODE 119 — Friends, Our Close Friends

    I used to really like the Tom Scharpling episodes, but now that I know they made Sean sad, I HATE THEM! OOOHHH FUCK I HATE THEM SO MUCH!! NNNNNGGGGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAAAGGGHH!!!!!!!!!! Edit: *pant* *pant*
  9. Spunky Foonerism

    EPISODE 119 — Friends, Our Close Friends

    Giant anteater ain't even got teeth.
  10. Spunky Foonerism

    EPISODE 119 — Friends, Our Close Friends

    Ok I'm not normally "that guy," but to mix things up a bit I tried listening to this episode in the car. I didn't think there would be any harm in it. BIG MISTAKE. Out of nowhere, there was suddenly a funny part, and I couldn't help cracking a brief smile. Well, predictably, a mean taxi driver SAW me smile, took it as a sign of weakness, and immediately cut me off. I had to waste half an hour chasing him to the airport, then there was a whole angry confrontation and another hour explaining the situation to airport security. From now on I'm listening to this podcast the safe way, alone in a dark room. They might make me smile again, and I just can't take that chance.
  11. Spunky Foonerism

    EPISODE 118 — Chris Gethard, Our Close Friend

    I think it is time for a serious backlash against Dixon. He's gotten multiple popular stars, and I, for one, and sick to death with envy about it. What, does he think he is objectively better than us as measured by the approval of his peers? He should see how many popular stars I've got on this other, better forum that I post on, where it is way harder to get stars.
  12. Spunky Foonerism

    EPISODE 118 — Chris Gethard, Our Close Friend

    Weird, pretty much this exact same thing happened to me! It was just like what you said, except it was slightly funnier. Anyway, Dixon, smdh. More like Emily Dickenson. No wait, more like, you a dick, son! No wait. More like Dixonhead, cause you got dicks on your head! No wait, more like Dicks-OFF, because your dick fell off! More like Nixon, because you opened up diplomatic relations with communist China! More like Pixar, because you make such funny animations. More like Dixon Ticonderoga because you are a big pencil! More like my friend Dixon who also lives in New Orleans! I guess what I'm trying to say is fuck you Dixon, your soundboard doesn't work on iPhones. We used to be best friends but now I hate you.
  13. Spunky Foonerism

    Episode 117 - Devin Field, Our Pet Project

    Have we already discussed this? The short version is that becoming friends with the crows may seem like a perfect delight with no possible downside, in reality you should be careful what you wish for because it could become a real monkey's paw, or perhaps even a gift of the magii, with a twist ending that shocks everyone, especially you, the reader. Also, this was just a nice story until her loony parents decided to go apeshit with their daughter's harmless hobby, and spread hundreds of pounds of birdseed all over the place. In closing, I think this little girl is probably a witch. Chanson, I assume you know her? Here are some of the treasures that the crows gave this girl.
  14. Spunky Foonerism

    Episode 117 - Devin Field, Our Pet Project

    You know what kind of bird really loves a dead horse? Crows.
  15. Spunky Foonerism

    Episode 117 - Devin Field, Our Pet Project

    If I could ask the wind one question, it would be, "Why are you blowing so hard? What's the point?" Edit: two questions
  16. Spunky Foonerism

    Episode 117 - Devin Field, Our Pet Project

    *imagine me storming back in angrily* Mike you are NOT actually helping! *imagine me fumbling with the latch on the forum door* *imagine me turning around and glaring at mikebonetti* Mike. Please let me out, I can't work this door it is jammed or something.
  17. Spunky Foonerism

    Episode 117 - Devin Field, Our Pet Project

    Super crow-mo: http://www.youtube.c...nWC5-MytHg#t=12 Edit: man fuck this shit. I used to be able to embed a video, now I can't figure it out any more. Edit: I also can't figure out how to embed an effect that will show how I am symbolically storming out of the forum and slamming the door.
  18. Spunky Foonerism

    Episode 117 - Devin Field, Our Pet Project

    If you can't afford a lawyer, do NOT try to represent yourself. Just call these guys, I'm sure they'll agree to represent you crow bono. Edit: HAHAHAhahahahah. hah. heheh. Edit: hmhmhmmm. crow bono.
  19. Spunky Foonerism

    Episode 117 - Devin Field, Our Pet Project

    Holy motherfucking shit! A crab that steals from our garbage cans! Whatever will they think of next?
  20. Spunky Foonerism

    Episode 117 - Devin Field, Our Pet Project

    Hey have you guys actually listened to this ep? I did, and I have to admit it was pretty funny. Edit: I'm not kidding.
  21. Spunky Foonerism

    Episode 116 — Cartoons, Our Close Friends

    Dear Nobody, What's the longest pee you ever took? Followup question, what do you think is the world record for the longest pee? Probably like 3 minutes, right?
  22. Spunky Foonerism

    Episode 116 — Cartoons, Our Close Friends

    Dear Goldie Hawn, Would you have agreed to come on the show if you knew the rude things Sean said about you on the internet?
  23. Spunky Foonerism

    Episode 116 — Cartoons, Our Close Friends

    Dear Nobody Who Hasn't Done Jack Shit, I'm a big fan! Your wikipedia page says "Did you mean: nobody who haven't done jack ship." What is the easiest way for me to get my own wikipedia page?
  24. Spunky Foonerism

    Episode 116 — Cartoons, Our Close Friends

    So I did some sleuthing about this new guy, and I learned that he has an iPad. Hmm, I wonder why he didn't choose to include that little tidbit in his bio about himself? You're off to a rough start, Keeboco. Don't try to keep secrets from us, we will always find out.
  25. I only like posts for one of nine reasons: 1. funny make me laugh 2. shares something true and interesting about themself 3. says something nice about me 4. says something mean about me that I think is gentle teasing, but I later realize was really mean 5. person is my friend and so I like everything they post 6. person is my enemy but I don't want them to realize it so I like certain things that they post, at random 7. accident 8. shows boobs or talks about boobs or says something unrelated but that makes me think about boobs 9. photo of cute animal That's it. Sorry folks, I'm not going to like something unless it falls into one of those categories. Don't overthink it. Just remember that if I don't like something of yours, it means your post was stupid and I hate you.
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