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Wayne Gretsky, no relation, is a vampire posing as a history professor. He has been unable to use his vampire bite for 300 years because he accidentally drained the woman he loved to death. But he meets a college student that looks just like her and can suddenly start biting again. When he accidentally turns her into a vampire, her bloodthirsty ways threaten everything, including the guy she's been friends with forever. This movie has insane vampire rules, and Gary Cole as the vampire's therapist who appears to be wanting to help him go back to biting people instead of drinking animal blood. The dialogue is batshit crazy most of the time, but the movie actually gets surprisingly fun once she becomes a vampire. "Speak of the vampire"