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  1. chanson

    Real World Portland

    So, I figured I'd start this topic to centralize all of the discussions about the Real World Portland, the best show on TV. Episode 2 was so damn good! I seriously cannot get enough of this season. And after the snoozefest in St. Thomas I think the producers found an amazing assortment of people to put in the house this season. The episode starts out with Anastasia and Jordan continuing their argument from the last night. It seems to me like Jordan, although hot headed and cocky, was actually making some effort to reconcile with Anastasia, who was not having any of it. I think that was dumb, because as it turns out Jordan wasn't completely full of shit like the girls were saying. I don't know, I'm sure they're both in the wrong here but it seems like Anastasia could at least hear the man out instead of shutting him down every time he opens his mouth. Then we find out that Averey "[is] a very sexual person and if [she's] feeling someone [she has] a very hard time controlling [her] urges." Then Averey commits another classic Real World rookie blunder by telling her grandma that she told Johnny that "[he's] a good guy and everything but [she's] not gonna fuck [him]." By doing this she has ensured that she will, in fact, fuck him. Indeed, by the end of the episode she has, in her words, fucked him. Also her grandma seems to think that fucking someone means "laying big old wet ones on him," which could be a filthy euphemism for some dirty old person sex move but as far as I know means kissing someone. Does Averey's grandma know about sex? Should the government be providing sex ed for seniors? These are the kinds of issues you have to watch the Real World to hear about because the mainstream media (I call them the lamestream media, am I right?) just won't cover them. After that the housemates go on a bike ride to a fountain along the waterfront so that they can pedo it up. They remove most of their clothing and run around in the fountain with small children. Clearly MTV is trying to get that lucrative pedophile market that remains so elusive to most networks. Jessica's happy because she has no friends beside her mother and then tells Jordan how to act. Then we find out that Jordan's dad physically abused him. But he grew up in the country so that makes it okay. The guys go to one of the 200,000 crossfit gyms in the Pearl District and then in a normal, typical, casual conversation about anal sex, Marlon reveals that he's had sex with a dude. It's cool that he felt comfortable revealing that. Anastasia is super sensitive about it. In fact, I think she's the most sensitive person in the house. Jordan and Jessica get in an argument about what constitutes middle class. In this argument I can sort of see where Jordan's coming from, and in major cities, especially on the coasts, $50,000 a year doesn't go that far but I'm sure that in Fayetteville, NC and most other small cities and military towns it's actually quite a decent income for a family. However, technically, $50,000 a year does put one comfortably in the middle class although there is a lot of debate about what actually constitutes middle class. Johnny observes Alton's precedent and shows his dick. Jordan and Marlon go to the obligatory gay bar. Jordan and Jessica argue about a hookah. Pretty Great!
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