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Episode 58 — In The Name of The King

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I'm really excited to listen to this. This was the first movie I thought of and one of two I named in the thread for suggestions, the other being Dream catcher. Goddammit this film is so fucking bad. I remember watching the first 15 minute sand just asking aloud "Who are these people, where are we, and what. is. happening?"

 

Plus Seth Morris is in studio? Hell yeah.

 

 

Hahaha found my old post http://forum.earwolf.com/topic/5938-in-the-name-of-the-king-or/page__p__30384__fromsearch__1?do=findComment&comment=30384

Its exactly what I was saying above, and what they stressed: it starts and you will never figure out what the who the why the fuck???

 

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I cant believe youde start with this Boll movie In The name of the King is a Goddamn masterpiece in comparison to Bloodrayne and house of the dead which looks like it was shot in someones backyard from 30 feet away.

 

The weird thing about Bolls career to me is he briefly started making good movies for a little while. after he made some bad but almost good movies like postal and stoic he made Rampage which is a genuinely great movie. Then he made a Darfur movie which was pretty good too.

 

But then he decided to make a movie about Auschwitz and it was really bad. Not funny bad just offensive and lousy bad. He wanted to do a holocaust horror movie which might have worked if he put a lot of effort into it but he just got lazy and cheap so theres just like 20 minutes in the middle of cheaply shot holocaust recreation and its sandwiched between insulting interviews of German kids not knowing shit about the holocaust and footage of hitler smiling at kids?! Boll himself plays a Nazi in it and defended his decision by saying it wasnt like he played hitler. But then in his next movie HE DID PLAY HITLER.

Anywhoo so Yeah after Darfur he went back to sucking. Bloodrayne 3 and Blubberella are unwatchable Garbage. Blubberella is about a fat woman fighting nazis it feels like watching a blooper reel with zero editing. Anyway so it's weird that he managed to write and direct a great movie in Rampage and a few good movies but everything else hes done is such insane crap.

 

House of the dead Id suggest if youre gonna do another of his movies because its soo crazy awful. most of the movie is edited in such a way its like looking at a strobe-light and no continuity like a guy will be stuck in a door but then he gets free but then hes stuck again in the next shot and when they shoot zombies they cut to video game footage like it was place holder footage that they never replaced.

 

im rambling

 

He had a holocaust movie? Good God that's awful. He better not see Django Unchained because if he makes a slavery horror/action flick I will start killing people. Literally.

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Cocaine eyes.

28cprhe.jpg

 

 

I wish they had a scene where Liotta started playing the piano. That would have been great.

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Quick Question: Do other people enjoy HDTGM episodes more if they have NOT seen the movie they're talking about?

 

I gave this movie a shot because it was free on YouTube, but listening to the podcast, I just got frustrated that they didn't bring up stuff that *I* thought was shitty. I didn't really enjoy this episode, mostly because I think they missed exactly what made this movie SO terrible (lack of drama/stakes) and got sidetracked with peripheral material way too often. And I've felt similarly disappointed when listening to episodes featuring movies I've seen.

 

But when I haven't seen the movie they're discussing, it's fun to try to picture what they're talking about in my head, and because we hear how ludicrous it is, it gets even wilder in my imagination. So I definitely enjoy episodes more when I go in blind.

 

Do you all prefer episodes featuring movies you've seen or movies you haven't seen?

 

It depends. Sometimes it doesn't matter if they hit on the things I thought were horrible if the overall episode is good. Even with movies that I half like (Devil's Advocate) I get a chuckle because some of the things they say were things that I never thought of while watching it.

 

But this episode seemed to match the energy of the movie because the movie is fucking boring. I mean mind numblingly boring. I think it was hard for them to find something to catch on to make fun of because the movie doesn't have any real crazy moments like Nothing But Trouble or isn't real silly like Justin to Kelly. I suppose they could have spend more time on Liotta's costume but then it would have turned into a Fashion Police-type show and I don't think anyone wants that.

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I'm so glad they brought up the zipline part, that was the scene where I realized just how ridiculous this movie was going to be. Also I loved hearing June say Soblieski. Great episode.

 

This is the first time since I've been coming to this site that they've posted a new episode, are they normally posted on Tuesdays, and is it always bi-weekly?

Edited by BagguhMcGuirk

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The best moment of this episode was when June compared Burt Reynolds with the Burger King King. I also loved that she couldn't say Leelee Soblieski's name. It wasn't just the Soblieski part she struggled with either; she kept calling her "Lily."

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I'm so glad they brought up the zipline part, that was the scene where I realized just how ridiculous this movie was going to be. Also I loved hearing June say Soblieski. Great episode.

 

This is the first time since I've been coming to this site that they've posted a new episode, are they normally posted on Tuesdays, and is it always bi-weekly?

 

Yep. One week is the mini-sode to tell you what to watch, Omissions and Corrections, and Paul being funny with emails. The Following week is the episode itself. Always Tuesday, which is the one of the only things that makes my day in the lab tolerable.

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On a related note, if you haven't listened to the episode of Affirmation Nation with both Seth Morris and Jason Mantzoukas, do. It is literally one of the funniest things I've ever heard.

 

Nice. I just listened to an episode of CBB a few nights ago where I heard Bob Ducca for the first time, and along with Jon Daly Mantzoukas might be my favorite podcaster.

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I cant believe youde start with this Boll movie In The name of the King is a Goddamn masterpiece in comparison to Bloodrayne and house of the dead which looks like it was shot in someones backyard from 30 feet away.

 

The weird thing about Bolls career to me is he briefly started making good movies for a little while. after he made some bad but almost good movies like postal and stoic he made Rampage which is a genuinely great movie. Then he made a Darfur movie which was pretty good too.

 

But then he decided to make a movie about Auschwitz and it was really bad. Not funny bad just offensive and lousy bad. He wanted to do a holocaust horror movie which might have worked if he put a lot of effort into it but he just got lazy and cheap so theres just like 20 minutes in the middle of cheaply shot holocaust recreation and its sandwiched between insulting interviews of German kids not knowing shit about the holocaust and footage of hitler smiling at kids?! Boll himself plays a Nazi in it and defended his decision by saying it wasnt like he played hitler. But then in his next movie HE DID PLAY HITLER.

Anywhoo so Yeah after Darfur he went back to sucking. Bloodrayne 3 and Blubberella are unwatchable Garbage. Blubberella is about a fat woman fighting nazis it feels like watching a blooper reel with zero editing. Anyway so it's weird that he managed to write and direct a great movie in Rampage and a few good movies but everything else hes done is such insane crap.

 

House of the dead Id suggest if youre gonna do another of his movies because its soo crazy awful. most of the movie is edited in such a way its like looking at a strobe-light and no continuity like a guy will be stuck in a door but then he gets free but then hes stuck again in the next shot and when they shoot zombies they cut to video game footage like it was place holder footage that they never replaced.

 

im rambling

 

When I saw Postal, it felt like the work of a bad message board troll. Nothing funny, nothing credible and obviously attempting to be offensive.

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sounds like it was a movie incredibly true to the source material then

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I didn't really notice the whole people being in trees thing, but I did notice something similar. In the first fight Statham and Perlman have with the Krugs in the barn, Statham jumps up to fight a Krug in the hayloft. They're in the process of burning down the barn. What the hell was he doing up there?

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If anyone's wondering why anyone would pony up $60 million for this movie, I'll direct you to an article about the bizarre German tax loophole that funded Uwe Boll's insanity for years. It came out a few years back that because of a weird way that Germany's tax laws are structured, rich Germans can use the funding of movies to get big tax write-offs. When you realize that it's all a scam to help rich Germans dodge taxes, it makes a hell of a lot more sense that Uwe Boll kept getting a lot of money to make movies that kept flopping.

 

http://www.cinemable...othing-209.html

 

Yeah this is how Boll has basically funded all of his shitty video game adaptations. When a movie flops, he basically gets his money back and adds some more money to the budget and it flops again. Rinse and repeat. Although I think the laws have been overhauled in the past couple years so it may not be as much of a saving grace as it used to be.

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All of the Romania jokes were super funny, but the movie was actually filmed entirely in Canada.

 

Still makes the Cirque stuff make sense though.

 

But Boll has made a habit of filming in Romania because it's super cheap.

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There is an interview with Dave Foley about his work on Uwe Boll's "Postal" in Nathan Rabin's book "My Year of Flops", which is required reading for bad movie aficionados. In it, he explains that Uwe almost considers making movies as his performance art. Because he doesn't have to worry about financing, he is always thinking about how he can shock and piss off people, usually by writing his next movie while still filming another movie. He barely pays attention to directing and it shows.

 

The only reason I hated this episode was because this means they won't be reviewing "Dungeons & Dragons" from 2000 anytime soon...

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Ok I have to say this:

 

I was opposed to watching this movie from the start, as Uwe Boll is putrid. His movies aren't fun bad, they're just bad. I got 15 mins into this and had to bail.

 

BUT

 

Don't you DARE bring Blind Guardian into this. I know that technically Boll brought them into it by using their song in the end credits, but that is by far the most enjoyable aspect of anything Uwe Boll has ever been associated with. I'm certain that the song has nothing to do with the movie. Skalds and Shadows was recorded and released on their 2006 album (recorded in Sept of 2005) A Twist in the Myth.

 

"Skalds and Shadows" is sung from the point of view of an Old Norse Skald with an allusion towards the Saga of the Volsungs (specifically the story of Sigurd and Brunhilde) at the end.

 

This shithole movie came out in 2007. I absolve it of its connection to this movie, and I hope Blind Guardian at least made some decent money off of the royalties.

 

Long Live Dragon-Slaying Epic Metal.

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Not certain, but I believe Uwe is pronounced oo-vay.

 

After the horrors he's unleashed on the movie-watching public, I don't feel he deserves to have his name pronounced correctly.

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I recently bought this movie out of the $5 bin at Walmart because Jason Statham is hot. The only reason I finished watching this movie is because we don't have any tv channels or internet at my home. It took me two days to finish it and I can't wait to re-gift it to my sister for Xmas along with Blonde Ambition and Baby for Sale.

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I recently bought this movie out of the $5 bin at Walmart because Jason Statham is hot. The only reason I finished watching this movie is because we don't have any tv channels or internet at my home. It took me two days to finish it and I can't wait to re-gift it to my sister for Xmas along with Blonde Ambition and Baby for Sale.

 

 

...Baby for Sale.

 

P8W4.jpg

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I tried watching this piece of garbage, but I couldn't even make it through the first thirty minutes. Although, one of the previous commenters was right, Rampage was a great Uwe Boll movie. I guess if you throw enough shit against the wall, eventually some of it will stick

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"HOW did they get up to the TOPS of those TREES?" I don't know why, but Jason's delivery of that sentence killed me.

 

Did anyone else get the impression that this was recorded a long time ago? During the intro, Paul sounded like Affirmation Nation was a current show, and didn't mention Go On. Then, he did the outro solo, presumably recorded later to keep the plugs current. There were also no references to other movies they've done, or anything else that would be dated.

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All of the Romania jokes were super funny, but the movie was actually filmed entirely in Canada.

As a Vancouverite, I found this episode very off-putting that we weren't given the honour and credit of producing this gem.

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A few things...Paul mentioned Go On at the end but maybe it is old because Seth Morris' Yahoo thing started quite a while back...I try to watch (force myself) the movies beforehand because I think it really enhances the podcast and you can always come here and talk about points you thought they missed...I totally called that Burt Burger King Reynolds too...so obvious:

 

 

creepyBurgerKing.JPG

 

007DST_Burt_Reynolds_002.jpg

 

And Krug? Really? Made me think of Krull but also...

 

krugomot.jpg

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