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Episode 25 — Bro Down

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Sean and Hayes take us on a quick behind the scenes look on how they create their Vines, share their thoughts on the new reality matchmaking show Ready For Love, and talk about the tribes merging on Survivor. At the end, BRIAN SHACTER gives his unique perspective on The Real World: Portland.

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What was with all the weird sex stuff this week? Disappointed that this show seems to be dragging in the gutter discussion to try and draw in the lowest common denominator listeners.

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I don't know, when you're discussing Real World Portland I think the 'weird sex stuff' is a natural extension. Especially considering this season.

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How can us, the fans, help you get Cochran as a guest on your show? I could start up another Kickstarter if you like.

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What was with all the weird sex stuff this week? Disappointed that this show seems to be dragging in the gutter discussion to try and draw in the lowest common denominator listeners.

 

sorry man. Hayes has been having a lot of sex lately and i think it's changing his personality. I tried to talk to him about it, but you know how he is. I'm actually pretty concerned. He claims that we are still just discussing clips from reality shows and doing bits about it a lot of the time, and that this week we thought it might be funny to put our guest in kind of an uncomfortable spot by putting words in his mouth and forcing him to take a gross position on the RW girls, but I don't believe him. I think it's a ploy, as you posited, to "draw in" a new type of audience. Hayes calls them "my people" and he makes a weird slurping sound after he says it. Help save our show! Don't let this new audience listen!

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sorry man. Hayes has been having a lot of sex lately and i think it's changing his personality. I tried to talk to him about it, but you know how he is. I'm actually pretty concerned. He claims that we are still just discussing clips from reality shows and doing bits about it a lot of the time, and that this week we thought it might be funny to put our guest in kind of an uncomfortable spot by putting words in his mouth and forcing him to take a gross position on the RW girls, but I don't believe him. I think it's a ploy, as you posited, to "draw in" a new type of audience. Hayes calls them "my people" and he makes a weird slurping sound after he says it. Help save our show! Don't let this new audience listen!

 

meta-trolling. This podcast is made of pure gold. Awesome episode.

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Don't worry Sean I'm already out putting flyers to warn people of the disgusting downhill turn this show has taken and warning people who like that stuff to not listen. I'm one of the good guys.

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I understand where Sean is coming from, and I don't want to rock the boat or anything, but personally, I think it's pretty cool Hayes is getting out there and having some sex. Good for you, buddy. Congrats.

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I understand where Sean is coming from, and I don't want to rock the boat or anything, but personally, I think it's pretty cool Hayes is getting out there and having some sex. Good for you, buddy. Congrats.

 

i knew we had a mole. Andy Kneis has been pretending to be a fan of the old format the entire time, while he was secretly pushing us towards this After Dark format that pornoheads and tweak-freaks wanna listen to. I can't BELIEVE I told you about Vibes, Andy. You probably rented it just so you could slo-mo all the cleavage moments and toilet talk you sick twisted maniac. I may have to walk away from this whole thing before I find myself on the set of some "snuff podcast" starring ME. Like in 8 mm. Have you seen 8 mm, Andy? It's like an edgier Vibes

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i knew we had a mole. Andy Kneis has been pretending to be a fan of the old format the entire time, while he was secretly pushing us towards this After Dark format that pornoheads and tweak-freaks wanna listen to. I can't BELIEVE I told you about Vibes, Andy. You probably rented it just so you could slo-mo all the cleavage moments and toilet talk you sick twisted maniac. I may have to walk away from this whole thing before I find myself on the set of some "snuff podcast" starring ME. Like in 8 mm. Have you seen 8 mm, Andy? It's like an edgier Vibes

 

Don't you get it? Vibes MADE me this way. All the toilet jokes and sex innuendos just made me crave more.

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Vines are penises right? Or did I misread the atmosphere of this epi?

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I don’t see what the big deal with the “sex talk” is. They told you that they just watched Ready For Love. All ANYBODY coming down from an experience so filled with sincere romance and sexual energy like watching an episode of that would want to do is talk about sex.

 

If you want to lure Cochran onto the show, you’ve got to appeal to the biggest organ on his body: his nose. I mentioned it a while ago, but he was well known like nine years ago for having one of the grossest noses on the internet. I can’t find the original pictures, but I did find a .gif of it healing, and an image of it photoshopped onto a strawberry.

 

Keep it classy brutha

cRQse5G.jpg

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Finally, something to fill that big Mystery sized hole in my heart that VH1s The Pickup Artist left when it was taken from me, way before it's time.

 

That actually gives me an idea. You two knuckleheads (Sean and Hayes, if that wasn't clear) seem to know everything there is to know about reality telivision, and Hayes apparently knows all about shattering butts, so what do you say about using some of that Hollywood clout of yours and rebooting The Pickup Artist? Hayes obviously would be Mystery. Sean strikes me as a "Matador" type, and then here's the big grab, you bring Shacter in to play the role of Hayes' wing the J-Dog. Bam. If that doesn't put butts in the seats (which will then, of course, be shattered) I don't know what will.

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Are we ever going to get the full source code behind the boobz and buttz projection system? Gonna call you all DICK Moreass cuz ya'll KILLING these projections.

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sorry man. Hayes has been having a lot of sex lately and i think it's changing his personality. I tried to talk to him about it, but you know how he is. I'm actually pretty concerned. He claims that we are still just discussing clips from reality shows and doing bits about it a lot of the time, and that this week we thought it might be funny to put our guest in kind of an uncomfortable spot by putting words in his mouth and forcing him to take a gross position on the RW girls, but I don't believe him. I think it's a ploy, as you posited, to "draw in" a new type of audience. Hayes calls them "my people" and he makes a weird slurping sound after he says it. Help save our show! Don't let this new audience listen!

 

Is this why Hayes hasn't seen last week's episode of Real World Portland? I mean, if there's one reality show that you guys need to be on top of it's RW PDX. Can I expect this kind of laziness during the next season of The Challenge, too? If I can't count on you guys to make jokes about Kenny, CT, Wes, Frank, Paula, Jonna and the rest of the gang while exhibiting a distinct and curious fondness-bordering-on-obsession with Dustin Zito then who can I trust? Is Fox News going to tell me that Obama's NOT a Muslim because they were having lots of sex and forgot to ask for his birth certificate? Is NPR going to tell me that I won't get to hear an uplifting interview with an African child soldier who has come to America to pursue a career in interpretive dance because Teri Gross was busy shattering butts? Am I trying to say that I have serious trust issues? These are the kinds of questions that get raised when Hayes drops the ball because he's listening to his own balls. So shameful.

 

On the bright side: Sean, you could have your own MTV show. (I like that the contact e-mail is a Gmail account)

 

Follow up question: is this also why Hayes still hasn't talked about being on Jeopardy even though I outed him over two weeks ago?

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HE TALKED ABOUT IT IN THE FIRST EPISODE FOR LIKE 10 SECONDS

 

The first episode that they ever made in their sandbox outside as Reality Show Show Babies? Or the first episode listed here on Earwolf?

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HE TALKED ABOUT IT IN THE FIRST EPISODE FOR LIKE 10 SECONDS

 

Nice caps, man.

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It's surprising how much vibes is strikingly similar to 8mm

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Nice caps, man.

 

I'M TRYING OUT A NEW PERSONA

DO YOU LIKE IT

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