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Damme it ALL

R.I.P.D. (2013)

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See, what you just described is what would make me say "I'm sold!" Maybe the kid in me just never died, but I just eat that shit up. I think the Michael Bay comparisons are unfair though, just because he directed the Transformers movies doesn't mean he invented big robots.

 

Likewise, and I absolutely loved Pacific Rim because of it. The action was superb and it had interesting enough science to keep you involved until the end. And luckily for it, there is a big enough market around the world for Kaiju movies that it should reasonably make a profit, unlike the Lone Ranger which doesn't have as big an appeal outside the US.

 

Astonishingly, Ryan sz's predictions from earlier in this thread have been 4 for 6 so far. I'm surprised that "The Great Gatsby" appears to have done okay for itself; I'd heard pretty much nothing about its box-office business, but Wikipedia says it's made $142 mil domestically and over $300 mil worldwide. As for "World War Z," I don't think anyone saw that one coming. We'll need to see how "The Wolverine" does next weekend, but otherwise Ryan seems to have gotten a decent return on his predictions.

 

ETA: The only prediction he's made that doesn't count is the "300" sequel, which has been delayed until March. This is the first I'd even heard about that; apparently, Warner Brothers' marketing strategy for the movie is to release it as quietly as possible.

 

Yeah I don't know why they thought they could quietly push that sequel out and hope to make money on it. But it seems they are going to release it in a quieter month like March in hopes to make more money with hopefully a stronger marketing campaign. I too was surprised by the success of WWZ and Gatsby, and as far as Wolverine goes I would not be surprised that it does well next week as it comes out basically unopposed against older releases and two new indy releases. RIPD is going to suffer this week not just on bad reviews but for the fact that a lot of new movies were released this week. You have Red 2 that has a built in audience from the first movie, The Conjuring which has been getting good reviews ever since it started on the festival circuit, Turbo the animated bug movie that also stars Ryan Reynolds, and even Only God Forgives which while being more of an artsy movie has some buzz about it with how violent it is and the hoopla surrounding critc reactions to it.

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Oh I got ya, you meant production limbo was the sign of a poor quality product, which is usually right.

 

And with that said, is anyone else a little surprised that they didn't push RIPD back to september instead of releasing it in the middle of the summer, right up against another Ryan Reynolds movie?

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This summer has been weird with the release dates. Pacific Rim could have been better served if released in June rather than in a crowded July, the few pushbacks that there have been, and releasing movies together featuring the same actors. It's like every studio got together for a big kegger and the guys responsible for scheduling releases did so the following day during their hangovers.

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I'm still not sure what to make of Ryan Reynolds' career at this point and legitimately want to know if he's considered a box office draw.

 

Also, did anyone else think from the trailers that the woman who was playing Ghost of Jeff Bridges' human form was Connie Britton? Because when I found out it was a random model, I couldn't help but be grateful she wasn't in this.

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RIPD looks like a low-grade cross between Ghostbusters and Beetlejuice, minus the humor. It's too bad, because I do love James Hong and Jeff Bridges. Ryan Reynolds though...he's always reminded me of Dane Cook, and that's not a good association for me.

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Glad I caught a free preview screening for this. It is ripe for HDTGM. It was like the filmmakers watched a bunch of other movies and TV shows - Men in Black, Ghost, Dead Like Me, The Avengers, every buddy-cop movie - and took their favorite moments and tried to piece a movie together from them. Makes almost no sense at all. If not for Jeff Bridges hamming it up, it would be a complete failure...

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Guys, I caved in and bought a ticket. In the theater now, I'll keep track of any WTF.

Thank you for biting the bullet.

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Guys, I caved in and bought a ticket. In the theater now, I'll keep track of any WTF.

 

May god have mercy on your soul.

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Oh man. Oh manohmanohmanohmanohmanohman.

 

I had to look up what movies had came out this summer to see if there was anything worse that those past 96 minutes (After Earth was that movie, but that's beside the point)

 

This...is bona fide HDTGM material. There was no sense of plot, of action, of direction. Things were just appearing on the screen with no explaination about what was going on. I could not, for the life of me, understand what the fuck Jeff Bridges was saying for the majority of the movie. The entire plan laid out by Kevin Bacon's character is unbelievable, there is a scene that I read in the Wikipedia synopsis that, I swear to God, never happened in this movie. The goddamn wife, the body avatars, Jeff Bridges eating fucking Indian Food, the fact that Indian Food is actually significant to the plot, it...it..

 

This is, simply put, a "What is Happening?" movie. We can wait for the DVDs, but this needs to be touched on eventually.

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Wait, Kevin Bacon is in this movie? He must have had a clause in his contract that they couldn't put him in the promotional material.

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Right?!? I read in reviews that he was in it, and just thought "Oh, he's doing a cameo", but no, HE'S THE VILLAIN

 

 

Can I continue to complain about this? I paid $11 for it, so I will.

 

The CGI is horrific. There is a scene where Mary-Louise Parker is walking in midair and it is the worst fucking greenscreening I've seen all year.

 

Every monster that comes about looks like something that you would find in a zombie/mutant apocalypse video game, which is basically how the entire climax is set up. You are driving in a car, killing random monsters that you know nothing about, and try to reach the top of a building for the final level.

 

I still have no idea how the body avatars work. Apparently, the world views Reynolds and Bridges as a Chinese man and a sexy woman (Who apparently has Marvin Gaye playing wherever she walks), but the criminal souls (oh god what am I doing) are viewed in their true form? And whenever the Chinese man and Sexy Lady are BRUTALLY crushed and ran over by buses, no one bothers to help them or ask what's going on?

 

Kevin Bacon finds the gold that is both significant to the plot and part of his ulterior motive during a drug bust. HOW DID KEVIN BACON KNOW THAT THE GOLD HE NEEDED WAS THERE? WAS IT JUST A FUCKING COINCIDENCE?

 

The extremely weird sexual scenarios implied between Mary-Louise Parker and Jeff Bridges, leading to a final scene that nearly led me to become ill.

 

THIS ALL HAPPENED.

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Yet another Save the Cat inspired trojan horse story where the villain gets captured on purpose. Of course it's all predicated on the idea that somehow they knew that both halves of that sphere would be placed together so they could get together and activate. Also, wouldn't they save a lot of people time and effort if they just handcuffed suspect before chatting to them about Indian food (none of that makes any sense and they make no effort to explain it). The whole mythology seems made up on the fly and changes to suit the various scenes. Dumb with a capital Duh.

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Imagine a movie where the collective seed of the the Men in Black movies and the Ghostbusters movies are mixed together and carried by a surrogate, and the baby turns out to be Danny DeVito.

 

I watched this today, this one is definitely worth a nomination.

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Yes, one of the biggest critical and box office flops of 2013. RIPD has a 13% on Rotten Tomatoes, which makes it the lowest-rated film on the website in both the careers of Jeff Bridges and Ryan Reynolds.

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One of the worst movies I've ever seen, and I've seen thousands of movies. On the one hand, I want to hear an episode about it. On the other hand, I don't want to make you guys suffer through it.

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Yes, one of the biggest critical and box office flops of 2013. RIPD has a 13% on Rotten Tomatoes, which makes it the lowest-rated film on the website in both the careers of Jeff Bridges and Ryan Reynolds.

 

I am predicting that this will be true until Seventh Son comes out. This movie got shuffled from Sept 2013 to Feb 2014 to Feb 2015. It's stuck in dump month limbo, that says something.

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I am predicting that this will be true until Seventh Son comes out. This movie got shuffled from Sept 2013 to Feb 2014 to Feb 2015. It's stuck in dump month limbo, that says something.

 

—In a time long past, an evil is about to be unleashed that will reignite the war between the forces of the supernatural and humankind once more. Master Gregory is a knight who had imprisoned the malevolently powerful witch, Mother Malkin, centuries ago. But now she has escaped and is seeking vengeance. Summoning her followers of every incarnation, Mother Malkin is preparing to unleash her terrible wrath on an unsuspecting world. Only one thing stands in her way: Master Gregory. In a deadly reunion, Gregory comes face to face with the evil he always feared would someday return. Now he has only until the next full moon to do what usually takes years: train his new apprentice, Tom Ward to fight a dark magic unlike any other. Man's only hope lies in the seventh son of a seventh son.—

 

That sounds needlessly complicated. It also looks like I'll have to change my bearding plans in the meantime.

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What the hell is up with Jeff Bridges? He's a hell of an actor given the right script and direction (see: True Grit, better than the original, PROVE ME WRONG). Did he lose all his money from Bernie Madoff like Al Pacino did?

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What the hell is up with Jeff Bridges? He's a hell of an actor given the right script and direction (see: True Grit, better than the original, PROVE ME WRONG). Did he lose all his money from Bernie Madoff like Al Pacino did?

It's one of two things. Either he is doing the Sally Field, where he is taking every big paycheck that is coming his way after winning the Oscar, or studios that have these shitty movies in the can for a few years are now releasing them in the hopes that a big, established name can bring in a few extra million in ticket sales.

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There's also possibility #3, he refuses to cut his hair and can only take roles that will let him keep it long.

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There's also possibility #3, he refuses to cut his hair and can only take roles that will let him keep it long.

Coming this winter, Jeff Bridges plays a skinhead who bucks the system by refusing to shave off his shoulder length locks in "Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow."

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I'm already liking this idea more than RIPD

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