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inactiveuser501

Untraceable (2008)

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I know some people may think I'm crazy when I say this, but there is some next level-"I Know Who Killed Me" style shit going on in this movie. I just have to say that for a film that is dealing with a psychopath who is murdering people via web broadcast, the authorities are so glib and uncaring about their responses that it is unbearable. Do this movie just to see Diane Lane turn herself into a pendulum and to read the prominently shown comments section of the murder website, it's amazing.

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I remember seeing the preview for this and thinking "I'm no expert, but I don't think anyone involved with this knows how computers work."

 

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I remember seeing the preview for this and thinking "I'm no expert, but I don't think anyone involved with this knows how computers work."

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oIqnESZW0qc

It definitely does seem like something that came out ten years before it actually did, which reminds me, I really need to give "The Net" another spin...

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It definitely does seem like something that came out ten years before it actually did, which reminds me, I really need to give "The Net" another spin...

Duuuude, on that same "WOW! COMPUTERS!" tip, check out Hackers. Even if you don't know anything about tech stuff, it's so dumb, so much a product of its time. Totally hilarious.

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I'm "working" so I can't watch that but I can already tell you what it sounds like:

 

lots of clicky clacky typing sounds

random graphs and progress bars moving

the monitor being reflected on someone's glasses

"Alright, I'm accessing the main database."

"Let's see... the password might be... yes! We're in."

"Damn, they have a firewall. Okay, this will take me a minute to hack."

 

The best one ever is the CSI one we're they're staring at an online chat room; one of the detectives says "This is in real time" and another one says "I'll create a GUI interface using Visual Basic to see if I can trace their IP address" which makes NO SENSE AT ALL. It's just word salad.

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I need to point out that the way that the killer hacks into Diane Lane's home is through a video game that a girl gave to her daughter for her birthday. His connection to the girl or programming the game does not exist.

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I need to point out that the way that the killer hacks into Diane Lane's home is through a video game that a girl gave to her daughter for her birthday. His connection to the girl or programming the game does not exist.

 

He's just that good, IsaiahER. He made GUI interface with Visual Basic and backtracked the video game's MAC address and bypassed the game's BIOS filter, and then...BAM!

 

All your video games are belong to us!

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This topic brings up one of my favorite scenes out of any movie I have ever watched.

 

In Jurassic Park, Sam Jackson shuts down the park's computer system and reboots the servers. Ok, everything is fine. All they need to do is turn on the power breakers.

 

But the power breakers are on the other side of the raptor compound. But when Sam Jackson says, "yeah, I'll go turn on the power breakers," no one gives him a gun, the weird Australian hunter doesn't volunteer to go with him to make sure the raptors don't eat everything but his left arm (spoiler alert: they do).

 

Why on earth would you send the PROGRAMMER out into a dangerous area with dinosaurs all around. What if something went wrong with the power startup and you had to make some tweaks on the command line? I feel like programmers around the world need to stand up to this bullshit. WE WILL NOT GO INTO DANGEROUS SITUATIONS WHERE OUR PROGRAMMING SKILLS ARE NOT NEEDED. IF I CAN REPROGRAM THE RAPTORS NOT TO KILL ME, THEN I'LL GO OUT THERE. IF NOT, I'M STAYING MY BLACK ASS INSIDE, THANK YOU.

 

Also, there was no Unix OS that had a 3D file system GUI in 1994. I feel like that product would have made more money for the Scottish millionaire than the actual park, cause that would have blown the socks off of Windows 95.

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This topic brings up one of my favorite scenes out of any movie I have ever watched.

 

In Jurassic Park, Sam Jackson shuts down the park's computer system and reboots the servers. Ok, everything is fine. All they need to do is turn on the power breakers.

Speaking of Jurassic Park, that relates to what is my favorite/most infuriating "this is not how computers work" scene ever -- when Jeff Goldblum makes a computer virus to fuck up the alien ship in Independence Day. It's wrong on every possible level; what a fortunate coincidence that the aliens are running Windows 95 and use 3.5" floppy drives. No, no, no, no, and no. They're fucking aliens from another planet, they're obviously using Amigas.

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I love terrible tech movies. "We're going to hack the mainframe" is uttered in almost everyone one of them.

 

I really only know a lot about hardware, and I only use command line for treating large sets of RNA-seq data. However, I know a few programmers and what self-respecting programmer would waste the time to make a GUI when they could do what they wanted via command line in a tenth of the time? GUI's are mostly for people who don't understand script right? Like heres a pretty (and restrictive) interface so your head doesn't hurt from all the words and backslashes.

 

WHY DONT VILLAINS IN THESE MOVIES HAVE BACK UP SERVERS???

 

sudo_apt//Dumb-dumb _movie_programmers.py

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