Jump to content
Snake

Top 5 movies for you personnally that they have not done yet

Recommended Posts

I think this would be a fun exercise. I would say try to keep it to movies that would make for a good episode and so don't list movies that were just terrible and boring like Ed Gein or something. In order, I would say my top 5 are:

 

1.) The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen

 

- This movie makes no sense and I can't say I've ever been more annoyed by a movie on a scene by scene basis. It ended Sean Connery's career

 

2.) Gothika

 

-Terse atmospheric drama but if you think about what is actually happening, it is one of the most tasteless and illogical movies ever. The big name cast makes it all the more crazy.

 

3.) The Mothman Prophecies

 

-"Based on a true story" - all that I need to say

 

4.) Jade

 

-I think this would make a great episode. Such a legendarily bad movie

 

5.) Nutcracker 3D

 

-I half-watched this at a family thing a few years ago without knowing anything about it and I felt like my head was going to explode. Just an awful movie but there is so much material in here

Share this post


Link to post

1)Halloween 3

2)Toys

3)Lifeforce

4)Now You See Me aka The Movie That Drove Me To Madness

5)Poltergeist 3

Share this post


Link to post

here is my dream team lists - Or my make a wish list.

 

01 - Rhinestone

02 - The Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call - New Orleans

03 - Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man

04 - Southland Tales

05 - killing season or *The quest god that's a bad movie.

 

Btw Poltergeist 3 and Lifeforce. are great picks seanotron ;)

 

I tried to watch Gothika on cable now twice and I didn't make it to the middle of the film..

 

*edited for got the quest..

Share this post


Link to post

There's many films that I would personally love for HDTGM to tackle, but I'm going to suggest ones that I think would actually work well and aren't super obscure.

 

Southland Tales -- DO IT. Come on, seriously, this is so fucking ripe for HDTGM. It's not actually a straight up terrible film (in my opinion); it's just that there's so much packed into the movie and very little of it makes any sense. This would be an awesome one and I'm actually surprised it hasn't been done already.

 

Beverly Hills Chihuahua 3 -- please please please oh please. This would be so much fun. GAY PUG! Dog quinceañera!

 

xXx -- It's essentially Vin Diesel's character from Fast & Furious, but he's a juicebox and he's EXTREME in that late 90s Mountain Dew sort of way. The movie is so ridiculous, so very dumb. Maybe it would feel redundant after having done Fast 5 and 6, I dunno.

 

Miami Connection -- it's kinda obscure, but it's on Netflix streaming and has been gaining some cult notoriety over the last couple of years. Lots of fun and totally bananas.

 

Kung Fu Hustle -- a couple of Stephen Chow's movies he wrote/directed/acted in would be great (God of Cookery, Shaolin Soccer), but this is probably the most well known one in the West. It got a fairly large release in the States (I saw it twice in the theater) and was the highest grossing foreign language film in 2005. It's actually a fantastic movie, but its logic is very much "what is actually happening right now?" in that crazy Hong Kong action movie way.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PRbPXbgsKyE

Share this post


Link to post

I really can't answer this question honestly without leaving tons of movies out, so I'm just picking the 5 that need more traction than they currently get.

 

Town & Country- I have no idea why I am so obsessed with this movie. This movie even fails at being a bad movie. It's just...LOOK AT IT! Our protagonist is a man who cheat on his wife and we are supposed to root for him? Editing so horrible that you'd swear that they just followed the cast around to get this movie to 104 minutes? Warren Beatty-Goldie Hawn Sex? And the Pièce de résistance, that this all cost $100 Million to make? I just want someone to validate my insanity. Also, part of me just wants to dare them to do this film because it just seems boring on the outset, but I want them to go insane.

 

The Scarlet Letter- This. Movie. Is. Bonkers. The sex and morals and puritan life and slave girl and nude Demi Moore and Gary Oldman's ass and Robert Duvall's batshit insane performance. Even if it DIDN'T shit all over the grave of Nathaniel Hawthorne, it still would be a lovable mess

 

Mr. Wrong- This is probably the first movie where I felt upset about what was happening on screen. Nothing makes sense, Ellen Degeneres is playing the exact opposite of her persona, everyone in this movie is the fucking worst people who ever lived, and I've heard that Ellen makes fun of this routinely, so that would make for an amazing episode if she got on.

 

The Forgotten- Best Worst Movie that nobody has ever heard of. Julianne Moore's child goes missing, government and husband try to convince her that the son never existed, without any clues whatsoever, she figured out the insane twist of the movie, and goes to battle said twist in a Hallmark Mystery movie gone horribly wrong.

 

Milk Money- I really want to know who signed off on this premise. 3 Middle-School aged boys head into the big city to find a prostitute to take her top off, Prostitute drops kids off at home, falls in love with the kids dad. HOW IS THAT A LEGIT FILM PREMISE? Add 99 minutes worth of Double Entendres and the citizens of Whitest Town Ever, U.S.A. acting shocked at Melanie Griffith for no reason, and you have an episode.

 

Honorable Mentions: The Hand That Rocks The Cradle, Swept Away, Jaws 3-D, Congo, Alone In The Dark, Basic Instinct 2, Body Of Evidence, Obsessed, Premonition, Taken 2, The Avengers 1998, Turbulence, Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2, Poltergeist II: The Other Side, The Last Song, Glitter, G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra, Rhinestone, The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure, Practical Magic, Xanadu, Crossroads

Share this post


Link to post

There's many films that I would personally love for HDTGM to tackle, but I'm going to suggest ones that I think would actually work well and aren't super obscure.

 

Southland Tales -- DO IT. Come on, seriously, this is so fucking ripe for HDTGM. It's not actually a straight up terrible film (in my opinion); it's just that there's so much packed into the movie and very little of it makes any sense. This would be an awesome one and I'm actually surprised it hasn't been done already.

 

Wow wait what is this movie? I was just looking into it and it looks like a movie that Glenn Beck wrote on acid then found the most liberal actors in Hollywood for the cast.

Share this post


Link to post

Snake Lee I like this list thing you got started. let's let other people finish there lists first, before we talk about them, keep to the topic of Southland Tales to it's group. boy I forgot about Kung Fu Hustle.. good pick.

 

it's up to you, it's your thread.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post

I definitely lean towards cheesy "so bad they're good" 80's action movies

 

Miami Connection

 

Gymkata

 

Samurai Cop

 

Get Even

 

Hard Ticket To Hawaii

 

I know that even though all of these have cult followings to some extent they probably won't be done because they're so obscure. But it's my dream wishlist. Miami Connection if nothing else NEEDS to be done. If they can do Birdemic and The Room and Sharknado, then certainly Miami Connection is not too obscure, and it's on Netflix.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post

#1 Southland Tales- I'm been championing this one for a long time, and I think we need to keep the thread for that one handy on the front page at all times!

 

#2 Mortal Kombat: Annihilation- This movie is dumber than shit, even by video game movie terms. The first one was fine, but THIS one tried to jam in every character possible, which led to everyone getting one fight, three minutes of screen time, and some of the most insane monologging and unnecessary subplots

 

#3 X-Men Origins: Wolverine

 

#4 Resident Evil: Whatever the Last One Was Called- The what-the-fuckery on display would be even better if they haven't seen the rest of the series

 

#5 Con Air- Put...the bunny...back in the box...

Share this post


Link to post

I feel like while some movies are "bad", we don't want to give Paul, Jason and June a torturous movie to get through. It needs to hit that sweet spot of being well made- while being completely insane at the same time.

 

1. Dreamcatcher. This movie has it all. It starts off as one thing, but every 40 minutes the movie changes genres and becomes a completely different movie. If you've never seen it, read as little as possible and go in completely blind.

 

2. Southland Tales/The Box - Richard Kelly directed... pick your choice. Both insane.

 

3. Sudden Death - I would actually kinda want either Con Air or Face/Off but those action movies hold credence of being... pretty good. Sudden Death is not just a perfect Die Hard knock-off, it's also better than the last few Die Hard movies. The plot is just ridiculous, but the actors really give it their all.

 

4. Rules of Attraction - This movie starts off crazy, and gets more insane from there. Much like Dreamcatcher, it's best to go in blind and just watch the insanity unfold. I may make a new thread dedicated to this movie because I couldn't find one. It's not so much that it's bad- but it's been forgotten and it begs the question "how did this get made?"

 

5. Dead Heat- While it doesn't live up to it's amazing trailer (one of the best ever), it's still pretty fun in it's own right.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jus4GsEkSIQ

 

While Troll 2 would be at the top of my list it's been mentioned elsewhere on the site they won't do it simply because they don't have much to add. The reason they did Room/Birdemic is because they had people involved with the film.

 

Runner Up: An Uwe Boll movie HAS to be done.

Share this post


Link to post

RE: Rules of Attraction

 

I actually really like that movie. There are some top-notch performances in there.

Share this post


Link to post

3. Sudden Death - I would actually kinda want either Con Air or Face/Off but those action movies hold credence of being... pretty good. Sudden Death is not just a perfect Die Hard knock-off, it's also better than the last few Die Hard movies. The plot is just ridiculous, but the actors really give it their all.

 

I feel like this film was the end of JCVD's Golden Age, as I loved everything of his from 1992-1995. I just re-watched this recently on Netflix, and while ridiculous, it still holds up pretty well. He's been doing some good work over the last few years as well, particularly the last two "Universal Soldier" films, and I really hope he turns up in more theatrically released stuff soon because he was awesome in his supporting turn in "Expendables 2"..

Share this post


Link to post

RE: Rules of Attraction

 

I actually really like that movie. There are some top-notch performances in there.

Oh I agree. It's not bad, but even the trailer gives a slight indication this movie is not "normal"

 

Share this post


Link to post

Seriously, every scene in this movie with Russell Sams and Ian Somerholder is absolute gold.

 

Definitely not normal, but it's based on a Bret Easton Ellis novel so I think that's a given.

Share this post


Link to post

Army of Darkness - I bet you could get Bruce Cambell as a guest. I met him a few years ago, he's cool as hell. This one falls under the category of So Freakin Awesome, HDTGM...

 

Bad Luitenant: Port of Call- Nic Cage pretty much putting a bow on his package of nutso roles with this one. The crack-smoking quasi-rape scene is evidence enough that this movie should be dissected.

 

Men at Work- What is it about the Sheen/Estevez Clan that beckons them to play garbage schleppers? Papa Sheen did in Badlands; and his youngins did it here. Maybe its was a forshadowed metaphor of Charlie Sheen's real-life persona. Like a manifest destiny. Anyway, this movie is cray-cray. Keith David is amazing as the stereotypical Vietnam Vet with a slight penchant for homo-erotic humiliation.

 

Samurai Cop-Too cheaply made and not popular enough to be considered; but, shit if they did, it would be great! Anyone who hasn't seen this, at least watch the infamous clip of the nurse conversing with the Samurai Cop and his partner making the most comical facial expressions.

 

Hard Target- Van Damme at the hight of his popularity. John Woo and his fucking Doves. Lance Henrikson. Wilford " DIA-BEETUS" Brimely. Man oh man. I hope they would consider this one.

Share this post


Link to post

Army of Darkness, thats a good movie!!

 

Now I got to see hard Target to see if it's better then the quest.. because that is just so stupidly crazy.

 

I don't think i've seen Lifeforce yet. it looks amazingly bad.

 

I still don't mind Dreamcatcher but I'll go along with you guys.. oh that one.

Share this post


Link to post

1. Showgirls

2. Basic Instinct 2

3. The Avengers (1998)

4. Surviving Christmas - Another bad holiday movie with Ben Affleck in it, and it was even worse than Reindeer Games!

5. The Cat in the Hat

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post

I definitely lean towards cheesy "so bad they're good" 80's action movies

 

Samurai Cop

Samurai Cop-Too cheaply made and not popular enough to be considered; but, shit if they did, it would be great! Anyone who hasn't seen this, at least watch the infamous clip of the nurse conversing with the Samurai Cop and his partner making the most comical facial expressions.

I've said this elsewhere in the forum, but Samurai Cop is legit one of my favorite movies. It is so above and beyond bad/good, it's totally transcendent if you're into super shitty Z-grade action movies. Buy the older DVD (not the new "remastered" one), it has an INCREDIBLE commentary track by Joe Bob Briggs. Seriously, it's so fucking good.

 

Re: JCVD. I think they just need to do any Van Damme movie, they haven't touched his films yet and there's plenty to choose from. I think that hockey one would be as good as any.

Share this post


Link to post

Student Bodies

Lifeforce

The Stuff

JCVD

Wicked Stepmother

 

JVCD? Am I crazy for thinking that's just a good solid movie that's not crazy at all?

Share this post


Link to post

JVCD? Am I crazy for thinking that's just a good solid movie that's not crazy at all?

Ohh, I thought people just meant Jean Claude Van Damme in general.

 

Yeah, JCVD is actually a very good movie. It's meta in a very good way, and it's pleasant to hear Van Damme actually speak his native language instead of terribly accented English (for which everyone has always assumed means he is a dum-dum).

Share this post


Link to post

I've said this elsewhere in the forum, but Samurai Cop is legit one of my favorite movies. It is so above and beyond bad/good, it's totally transcendent if you're into super shitty Z-grade action movies. Buy the older DVD (not the new "remastered" one), it has an INCREDIBLE commentary track by Joe Bob Briggs. Seriously, it's so fucking good.

 

 

I already own that copy! Joe Bob is fuckin hilarious!

Share this post


Link to post

 

JVCD? Am I crazy for thinking that's just a good solid movie that's not crazy at all?

 

I mean it in the good way, if that helps. Can you imagine actually pitching that idea to someone? "No, no, he's playing himself--A fictional version of himself--Getting caught up in a bank robbery. Oh, and near the end he breaks the fourth wall for a soliloquy. Right, and he keeps subverting their random demands for his own purpose."

 

But, yeah, crazy awesome, not crazy bad.

Share this post


Link to post

I can imagine that pitch and it doesn't sound even remotely weird to me, haha.

Share this post


Link to post

Snake Lee I like this list thing you got started. let's let other people finish there lists first, before we talk about them, keep to the topic of Southland Tales to it's group. boy I forgot about Kung Fu Hustle.. good pick.

 

it's up to you, it's your thread.

 

I was trying to imagine a world where people could order people around on a message board just because they started a thread and it was basically a dystopian nightmare. I doubt that is what you meant but it gave me pause.

 

Anyways, the idea I was thinking about was more along the lines of "which movies would be the most cathartic for you to watch get ripped apart" instead of merely "what would be the funniest?" It does kill me I forgot about Cat in the Hat though, good call Slide Pocket. That should have really made my list.

Share this post


Link to post

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×