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SlidePocket

Getaway (2013)

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There's a movie called Getaway that is out this week. No it's not the Steve McQueen/Ali MacGraw movie, nor the Alec Baldwin/Kim Basinger remake. Instead, it is a thriller about a man whose wife gets kidnapped and must go on a car chase with help from a teenage runaway. And it stars Ethan Hawke as the concerned husband, Jon Voight as the man who arranges the kidnapping, and who plays the teenage runaway? None other than Selena Gomez! Another bad sign for this film was the director Courtney Solomon, whose one of three credits that he has made was the 2000 disasterpiece "Dungeons and Dragons", and so far "Getaway" is holding a 0% on Rotten Tomatoes! Let's look at the trailer.

 

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In the vain of Paronoia I believe this weeks Getaway deserves a recommendation based on being one of the worst reviewed movies ever. It just received it's second "fresh rating", and now is at at a mere 2% ratings (2.7 average); which is even worse than Paranoia's 3% and 3.7 average. Off the top of my head the only movie (in wide release) I know that has a lower 0% rating is Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever, and the difference is insignificant (2.6 average).

 

I think Selena Gomez is ripe for the show, especially when she keeps taking roles that could shed her Disney image (namely this and Spring Breakers). Also it's pretty obvious Hawke is in desperate need of money, and is pretty much willing to take any role these days as long as it pays. Then of course there is good ol' Jon Voight who I don't think has been in a good movie for 40 years (or at least acted well in one). Hard to believe this is the same guy from Deliverance, Coming Home, and Midnight Cowboy.

 

It's going to be fun to see if it even finishes in the top ten at the box office this week, when there is very little competition against it. Will Disney Channel fans really be willing to buy tickets to this awful flick?

 

Now I realize no one in their right mind would ever choose to watch trash like this, as it might not even be bad enough to be good, but someday when it hits home video it might be worthy of being fodder for the show.

 

Forgot, this is also from the guy who directed Dungeons and Dragons and An American Haunting, two other notoriously bad movies. Since then he's stuck to straight to DVD movies, which is probably what Getaway should have been, but with Gomez attached to the movie I guess they thought they could sneak it into theaters late in the Summer, in hopes people with nothing better to do would fall into their trap and see it.

 

Whoops didn't see that someone had already recommended it, sorry about that.

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Is this a real movie?

Yeah, this is real life. Don't put that in your mouth.

 

I'm no fan of Ethan Hawke, but he seems like a reasonably talented actor with a really weird agent. What is he doing in this nonsense? He doesn't strike me as one of those types that will just take any role. So yeah, must be a favor/money thing/contractual obligation.

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Yeah, this is real life. Don't put that in your mouth.

 

I'm no fan of Ethan Hawke, but he seems like a reasonably talented actor with a really weird agent. What is he doing in this nonsense? He doesn't strike me as one of those types that will just take any role. So yeah, must be a favor/money thing/contractual obligation.

Sorry. It just really looked like a fake movie. If I were to go off of the trailer and nothing else, I would assume that the movie was an SNL short directed by Paul W. S. Anderson. As for Ethan Hawke, I haven't seen too much of him recently, which is a shame because I remember thinking he was good in Gattaca.

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The concept for this didn't seem too crazy (just another spin on the old 'We have your family so you have to do all the crazy crap we say' trope), but there were two factors in the trailer that made me think it might just qualify as next level bonkers - 1)Selena Gomez and 2)Jon Voight doing Random Foreign Accent #27.

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I saw a trailer for this in the theater and I chuckled when I saw Selena Gomez. I have nothing against her, but in the other trailer they introduce her differently, she comes up to Ethan Hawke's car and tries to rob him at gunpoint, and it just seemed so absurd and unbelievable that they were trying to frame this pretty young girl as a street criminal.

 

As for Ethan Hawke, maybe he just wanted to do an action movie *shrug*. I feel like a lot of movies probably seem better on paper because you can imagine the best version of it in your mind.

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The concept for this didn't seem too crazy (just another spin on the old 'We have your family so you have to do all the crazy crap we say' trope), but there were two factors in the trailer that made me think it might just qualify as next level bonkers - 1)Selena Gomez and 2)Jon Voight doing Random Foreign Accent #27.

 

Wait is Voight actually doing the accent? I thought when I looked through the imdb of this shitshow that they had another actor doing the voice while Voight was just being the on screen body, unless he had them change it at the last moment.

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Wait is Voight actually doing the accent? I thought when I looked through the imdb of this shitshow that they had another actor doing the voice while Voight was just being the on screen body, unless he had them change it at the last moment.

 

it's definitely him in the trailers

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