Episode 70.5 — Minisode 70.5

[PhillipMedoc 648]

Am I the only one who kinda thought this movie was just terrible terrible and not good terrible? And don't get me wrong, it definitely is a movie perfect for HDTGM and I can't wait for the episode. But when I was watching it last night in preparation I just kept getting bored and disinterested. There are a few good terrible scenes but for the most part it was difficult to push through this movie.

I felt exactly the same. In the middle of my notes (first time I've done this for a movie) I wrote "KINDA BORING MOSTLY". I'm sure they'll make a great episode out of it but I got very little enjoyment out of watching this. A few things:

 

The tone between buddy cop comedy and super gory murders was very jarring and dissonant.

Speaking of gory murders, the killer must have had some really strong drywall anchors for those crucifixions.

When examining a cadaver, this exchange happens: "Nice tits"; "Yeah, a little too nice."

Does it ever rain this much in LA? Was this movie filmed during a Sharknado?

56 minutes until the phrase "Glimmer Man" is said, and then never again.

Seagal shows very little interest in his current wife and children but cares a lot about his dead ex-wife.

Lie detector scene was so dumb -- "Nobody's ever beat this before"; "He must have total control of his emotions".

Obligatory police captain saying "I need your badge and your gun on my desk."

Wayans dives/gets thrown through windows at least five times without being sliced into ribbons.

Seagal's martial arts fighting up close looked like little girls slapping each other.

 

And lastly, the story was weird and confusing. Did we find out who the actual serial killer was? Because the "bad guy" who killed Seagal's ex-wife was not the serial killer, correct? And what was the point? I forgot what the plot involving the two other businessmen or whatever was. And at the end of the movie, the captain is congratulating Seagal when he should be arresting him because they did a bunch of shit without their badges, murdered people, illegally recorded phone calls, etc; all the evidence would be inadmissible in court.

 

I will say I laughed once in this movie: when Wayans told the two little kids to run away, he says "and take Whoopi Goldberg over there with you."

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

Does it ever rain this much in LA? Was this movie filmed during a Sharknado?

 

Even during a Sharknado, the water is only ever about ankle deep and has a tendency to NOT be there in any given shot.

[StickyKeys 22]

 

I have DirectTV and they don't offer FX or FXX or FXX2 or any of the other Fox variations. They do offer Cartoon Network, so I do get to see NTSF:SD:SUV when if I decide to take that Friday off(Sorry, Scheer. It comes on so damn late on Thursday that I can't stay up and watch it if I have work the next day).

 

I have DirectTV and currently have FX but FXX is on another package. I think right now we have premier and FXX is on Extra or some such.

[cmac94 191]

56 minutes until the phrase "Glimmer Man" is said, and then never again.

 

I missed that, and by the end of the movie I was really frustrated that I had never even heard the phrase used.

 

Does it ever rain this much in LA? Was this movie filmed during a Sharknado?

 

It is raining non stop in this movie. In the beginning credits it was raining constantly and there was a few shots of palm trees, I thought the movie was taking place in Miami until about 20 minutes in.

[PhillipMedoc 648]

56 minutes until the phrase "Glimmer Man" is said, and then never again.

I missed that, and by the end of the movie I was really frustrated that I had never even heard the phrase used.

There's a scene with two of the bad guys saying something like "Do you know who he is? They used to call him The Glimmer Man blah blah" like the narrator says in the trailer.

 

I feel like they came up with the movie's title after shooting was completed, and then filmed that scene in post production so they could justify the name. Other than that it's never even vaguely referenced by anyone else except that he has a mysterious past.

[justinmh05 1968]

Brian Cox is one of these guys who is a great actor, but will be in absolutely anything he's offered even if its off the shit-chart.

 

Did anyone else feel like the narrative was told as if this were a sequel and we were supposed to be totally familiar with the Cole character from the get go?

[justinmh05 1968]

 

I missed that, and by the end of the movie I was really frustrated that I had never even heard the phrase used.

 

Brian Cox says to the mob boss that they called Cole the Glimmer Man because when he was working as a mercenary, he'd sneak up on his target and only be a glimmer in their eye before he killed them.

[justinmh05 1968]

The real story of this movie is not the murders. The Glimmer Man is actually about a police officer who systematically destroys the life of his crime-fighting partner.

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

 

Brian Cox says to the mob boss that they called Cole the Glimmer Man because when he was working as a mercenary, he'd sneak up on his target and only be a glimmer in their eye before he killed them.

If he's sneaking up on them and still manages to be a glimmer in their EYES, he's not that good at sneaking up on people.

[PhillipMedoc 648]

Did anyone else feel like the narrative was told as if this were a sequel and we were supposed to be totally familiar with the Cole character from the get go?

That's one of the only things I liked about it; there was basically zero exposition, it dropped you straight into the story. There could have been another 30 minutes or so in the beginning of establishing Seagal's character and how he's the fucking Glimmer Man and his Buddhism beliefs or whatever, having him transferred to LA, etc. I imagine they had more of that but possibly cut it for time, mercifully.