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JulyDiaz

Episode 70.5 — Minisode 70.5

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It’s finally happening. Next week we get into the peaceful and violent mind of Steven Seagal with the 1996 classic The Glimmer Man. Paul also explains how we have literally destroyed the english language, reads some Corrections & Omissions for Gymkata, changes up the rules of the Movie Title Game, and describes the best fruit while answering your Qs! Don’t forget to send your movie title submissions to hdtgmfilmtitles@gmail.com! Make sure to go to www.getfxx.com for info on where to see the new season of The League, check out the trailer for

, catch Season 3 of NTSF:SD:SUV:: Thursdays at midnight on Adult Swim, and use your face to watch Hell Baby in theaters on Sept. 6th or right now on Amazon!

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The movies you have covered lately have really left something to be desired. I miss the commentary on current movies.... These old movies are flawed to begin with just based on age. Yes, they are REALLY bad but it almost feels like a cop-out. I get you guys are in the industry and don't want to step on toes but the movie choices were so much more entertaining in the early episodes.

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The movies you have covered lately have really left something to be desired. I miss the commentary on current movies.... These old movies are flawed to begin with just based on age. Yes, they are REALLY bad but it almost feels like a cop-out. I get you guys are in the industry and don't want to step on toes but the movie choices were so much more entertaining in the early episodes.

 

Paul has discussed this more than once, not everyone has the cash money to go out and see new shitty movies every other week. Also, they are busy working (more now than ever) and it is easier for the crew to watch older/more available movies with the little free time they have. They still do current movies, just not all the time. It will be ok.

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By "miss"

The movies you have covered lately have really left something to be desired. I miss the commentary on current movies.... These old movies are flawed to begin with just based on age. Yes, they are REALLY bad but it almost feels like a cop-out. I get you guys are in the industry and don't want to step on toes but the movie choices were so much more entertaining in the early episodes.

 

Are you angling for the good old days of late July? Sharknado. That episode was preceded by After Earth and Fast and Furious 6 in May and June.

 

I don't see what they are doing as a cop-out at all. You do. That's your right of course. But I think Paul's reasoning for not doing new movies all the time makes total sense - I don't really want to spend $25 per month to ensure that I'm up to date with movies for a podcast. I'm sure there are others who feel the same way.

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I am not talking about doing movies that are in theaters right this moment. I just feel like we all know Gymkata, Over the Top, and Crocodile Dundee are going to be bad...age alone puts them in a place to be mocked. I really enjoyed when they reviewed movies like Abduction, I Know Who Killed Me, Crank, etc. They are more current films that seem to be trying to reach today's audience and then fail for one reason or another. There are plenty of movies on Netflix, OnDemand, and all over the internet that are cheap to free and easily accessed. I still love the show, I would just like to hear their take on movies that haven't been covered by a dozen other "bad movie" podcasts. I always appreciate a classic bad movie like The Room or Howard the Duck, but I really love hearing their opinion on new bad classics like Twilight. Not being a hater, just giving some feedback. :)

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My cable provider isn't carrying FXX, which doesn't surprise me, as they don't offer a lot of things that have popped up lately (wow, there was a Fox SOCCER Channel that this station's replacing?), even guaranteed money in the bank like HBO Go. Fuck 'em.

 

Anyway, why does FXX exist in the first place? From what the ads have indicated, it's nothing but "The League" and "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia", and a couple other FX shows that eat up 30 minutes worth of airtime. Did they decide they needed that extra time on the FX schedule freed up to squeeze in ONE more airing of "Fantastic Four" or "Iron Man"? Holy shit, maybe they should have taken FXpanol, or whatever the hell it is, and turned that into a Marvel movie channel so that we could actually watch FX programming on FX. Yeah, my cable provider's fucking stupid to begin with, but it doesn't help that the FX people felt the need to split in the first place.

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"I HATE LADDERS!"

"I am sick of these muthafuckin' ladders on this muthafuckin' plane!"

"Call me 'Ladder'."

"Yo, there's ladders out there this big?!"

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I am not talking about doing movies that are in theaters right this moment. I just feel like we all know Gymkata, Over the Top, and Crocodile Dundee are going to be bad...age alone puts them in a place to be mocked.

Age has nothing to do with it. Plan 9 From Outer Space was bad when it was released, and it's bad now. Cultural trends like fashion and music certainly change, but are rarely the basis for most of the humor in HDTGM (other than to call someone a mullet headed dum-dum). Bad/good movies are bad/good movies, regardless of the year they came out.

 

Having said that, if we're talking Seagal movies, I feel like a "classic" like Hard To Kill, Marked For Death, or On Deadly Ground (which he directed(!) as well) would have been a better choice. That's just what I would have personally wished for, though. I'm still super excited for this one, and I can't believe it's taken this long to do a Seagal film. I do hope a Van Damme movie is in the works at some point.

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Oh, and how about "Sunny" and "The League" show directly opposite of "The Bridge", meaning that FX is is pretty much competing with itself? Granted, people might record one and watch the other or just record both, but taking shows that could co-exist nicely in the same place and pitting them against each other seems kind of counterproductive.

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The movies you have covered lately have really left something to be desired. I miss the commentary on current movies.... These old movies are flawed to begin with just based on age. Yes, they are REALLY bad but it almost feels like a cop-out. I get you guys are in the industry and don't want to step on toes but the movie choices were so much more entertaining in the early episodes.

 

you-should-feel-bad-meme-generator-your-opinion-is-bad-and-you-should-feel-bad-b350df_zps9e7d2001.jpg

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Having said that, if we're talking Seagal movies, I feel like a "classic" like Hard To Kill, Marked For Death, or On Deadly Ground (which he directed(!) as well) would have been a better choice. That's just what I would have personally wished for, though. I'm still super excited for this one, and I can't believe it's taken this long to do a Seagal film. I do hope a Van Damme movie is in the works at some point.

I too would have preferred to see something from earlier, as this was pretty much nearing the end of Seagal Phase One (the following year's "Fire Down Below" would be his last theatrical release for quite some time, I think), and they were kind of fucking with the formula by giving him an actual co-star. I think we needed to see Seagal in his prime first to fully appreciate (?) this. Anyway, I'm sure we'll get around to it at some point, and this should still be a fine episode. Have they announced the guest already? I think it would be a total missed opportunity if they didn't get the guy from AICN that wrote "Seagalogy". Maybe I'll try to re-read that this week...

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Age has nothing to do with it. Plan 9 From Outer Space was bad when it was released, and it's bad now. Cultural trends like fashion and music certainly change, but are rarely the basis for most of the humor in HDTGM (other than to call someone a mullet headed dum-dum). Bad/good movies are bad/good movies, regardless of the year they came out.

 

I feel like Plan 9 is one of the classic bad movies like The Room or Robot Jocks. I guess my bitterness comes from hearing the same movies get reviewed over and over. I have seen a lot of the bad movies from the late 80s through mid 90s because that's when I was a child watching these bad movies. I liked when they introduced me to movies I would never watch, like Burlesque and Sucker Punch. I haven't seen this Seagal movie, so I am excited for something new. I really enjoy this podcast a lot and their movie choices won't make me stop listening. Their chemistry is great and comedic styles are hilarious regardless of the movie.

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"What is a street fighter?"

Hoo boy. In all fairness, I have not had my coffee yet.

 

Also, for whatever reason, in my head I don't include Street Fighter in the Van Damme ouevre. I think of Bloodsport, Cyborg, Kickboxer, etc -- all of his solo martial arts films.

 

I guess my bitterness comes from hearing the same movies get reviewed over and over.

I guess I don't listen to enough movie podcasts because I don't hear everyone reviewing Gymkata. I understand what you're saying but it's a big fun world of entertainment, criticism, and consumerism, and there's going to be some overlap.

 

Haven't listened to the minisode yet, I'm trying to bet on who the sponsor is going to be. Audible, Squarespace, or FXX? I'm guessing Audible.

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Hoo boy. In all fairness, I have not had my coffee yet.

 

Also, for whatever reason, in my head I don't include Street Fighter in the Van Damme ouevre. I think of Bloodsport, Cyborg, Kickboxer, etc -- all of his solo martial arts films.

 

 

I know what you mean. His catalogue is mostly Van Damme movies plus the street fighter movie featuring a "Van Damme" character. I also routinely forget at least one or two of the movies they have done already.

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I guess I don't listen to enough movie podcasts because I don't hear everyone reviewing Gymkata. I understand what you're saying but it's a big fun world of entertainment, criticism, and consumerism, and there's going to be some overlap.

 

Haha I probably listen to too many podcasts...specifically those that focus on pop culture and movies. I work 40-50hrs a week doing data entry and have lots of time to just sit and listen.

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My cable provider isn't carrying FXX, which doesn't surprise me, as they don't offer a lot of things that have popped up lately (wow, there was a Fox SOCCER Channel that this station's replacing?), even guaranteed money in the bank like HBO Go. Fuck 'em.

 

Anyway, why does FXX exist in the first place? From what the ads have indicated, it's nothing but "The League" and "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia", and a couple other FX shows that eat up 30 minutes worth of airtime. Did they decide they needed that extra time on the FX schedule freed up to squeeze in ONE more airing of "Fantastic Four" or "Iron Man"? Holy shit, maybe they should have taken FXpanol, or whatever the hell it is, and turned that into a Marvel movie channel so that we could actually watch FX programming on FX. Yeah, my cable provider's fucking stupid to begin with, but it doesn't help that the FX people felt the need to split in the first place.

 

I have DirectTV and they don't offer FX or FXX or FXX2 or any of the other Fox variations. They do offer Cartoon Network, so I do get to see NTSF:SD:SUV when if I decide to take that Friday off(Sorry, Scheer. It comes on so damn late on Thursday that I can't stay up and watch it if I have work the next day).

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Man, I remember there was a short time when Keenan Ivory Wayans was angling to be an action star. Like, I think he was trying to be a 1990s version of Eddie Murphy but with more stunts, shooting, and explosions in his movies. A couple of years before this, he wrote, directed and starred in Low Down Dirty Shame.

 

I would disagree with the people who don't like this choice. This is the most forgettable of Seagal's movies. I would argue that his earlier films are solid action movies, even crazy ass Marked For Death. This is HDTGM's sweet spot -- someone who can feel their time in the spotlight is waning and is making a desperate grab to become relevant again. Under that kind of pressure and hubris (Seagal thinks he's God's gift to the world), very bad decisions will be made.

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Oh man, this marks the first appearance of legendary actor Brian Cox.

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I would disagree with the people who don't like this choice. This is the most forgettable of Seagal's movies. I would argue that his earlier films are solid action movies, even crazy ass Marked For Death. This is HDTGM's sweet spot -- someone who can feel their time in the spotlight is waning and is making a desperate grab to become relevant again. Under that kind of pressure and hubris (Seagal thinks he's God's gift to the world), very bad decisions will be made.

I'll admit I haven't seen Glimmer Man, so your opinion stands. But as far as hubris -- have you seen On Deadly Ground? That crazy "environmental" speech he gives? Seagal, directing Seagal?

 

And it was nominated for a lot of awards, too:

 

1995 Razzie Awards

Worst Picture nominee

Worst Screenplay nominee

Worst Actor nominee: Steven Seagal

Worst Director: Steven Seagal

Worst Actress nominee: Joan Chen

 

But I'm not arguing against Glimmer Man. I'm stoked for a Seagal movie. And I guess it'll be fun because I have not watched it. Hey, everyone should check out Seagalogy, it's a pretty fun book that breaks down ALL of his movies in chronological order. The later chapters that cover his straight to video years aren't much fun, but the first 2/3rds are a blast.

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I feel like Plan 9 is one of the classic bad movies like The Room or Robot Jocks. I guess my bitterness comes from hearing the same movies get reviewed over and over. I have seen a lot of the bad movies from the late 80s through mid 90s because that's when I was a child watching these bad movies. I liked when they introduced me to movies I would never watch, like Burlesque and Sucker Punch. I haven't seen this Seagal movie, so I am excited for something new. I really enjoy this podcast a lot and their movie choices won't make me stop listening. Their chemistry is great and comedic styles are hilarious regardless of the movie.

 

See, I'd be on the opposite side of that. Sucker Punch and Burlesque are far less interesting to me because they were so universally mocked & accepted as terrible by critics and audiences alike. They are mainstream bad. Even as legendary as The Room might be, the vast majority of people will still have never heard of it. And really, it's a rarity in that every time you watch it you seem to find even more horrible things.

 

But that's why I think it's good they mix things up between old & new, because obviously everyone looks for something different in the movie choices.

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I have DirectTV and they don't offer FX or FXX or FXX2 or any of the other Fox variations. They do offer Cartoon Network, so I do get to see NTSF:SD:SUV when if I decide to take that Friday off(Sorry, Scheer. It comes on so damn late on Thursday that I can't stay up and watch it if I have work the next day).

 

I have DirecTV and they are doing a free preview of FXX right now (channel 619). Since it's satellite I'd think that would be true for everywhere, though I could be wrong. They're advertising it as part of their Xtra package.

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I have DirecTV and they are doing a free preview of FXX right now (channel 619). Since it's satellite I'd think that would be true for everywhere, though I could be wrong. They're advertising it as part of their Xtra package.

 

I'm locked into whatever package the building owners get since the cable comes included with the rent. I'll lobby and see if I can at least get the preview.

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