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JulyDiaz

Episode 39 — There Is Ninjas

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I tried to dramatically end my time on these forums after the end of the last episode by gulping down the lump in my throat, pointing a remote at my monitor and saying "Well, I guess it's time to turn off my favorite podcast." Then I made a big show of hitting the power button. But instead of giving me a quiet, powerful moment, hitting the power button turned my tv on in the middle of a Chopped episode. It was a leftovers only challenge and, although I'd already seen it a few times before, I got kind of sucked in and ended up leaving it on while I goofed around on my phone for a while.

Anyways, I think what I realized was this isn't like turning it on or off, it's just changing it to a new channel. #deep #Chopped #hashtagsinreallife #theend

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The United States Constitution was signed by 39 members of the Constitutional Convention.

The Bilderberg Group has core of 39 members who are broken into 3 groups of 13 members in each group.

The Bible predicted that Jack the Ripper would claim 39 victims... worldwide.

The Nazi scientists tried 39 times to breach the barrier into the draco reptilian interdimensional universe.

 

The Reailty SHOW Show only aired 39 episodes.

 

OPEN YOUR EYES SHEEPLE.

 

29pbs69.jpg

 

:o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o

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it just keeps getting worse and worse.

 

j0zcit.jpg

 

-pensive by the pool

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I feel a little like Juan Pablo after being rejected by Des. After being hurt by podcasts before, I had finally put myself out there and thought I had found the podcast for me. I was listening to this show for the right reasons. Now I don't know if I'll ever find a podcast. Maybe I'll be without a podcast forever.

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While some of us look at the people paraded in front of the public as "stars", "famous", and apparently aspirational figures, and cringe or cry but cannot properly explain why, these boys do the job for us.

Their unusual intelligence and extraodinary sense of humour allows them to point out exactly what is wrong with these people with not only great insight and clarity, but delivered in a way that will leave all but the very blackest of souls constantly laughing.

To illuminate ignorance or harmful behaviour is an important asset to both the individual mind and humanity itself, but to do so in a comedic way... which brings understanding with a smile... is quite literally the pinnacle of noble human endeavor.

It is humour and comedic talent that distinguishes the Seans and Heyeses from the Richard Dawkinses and Peter Josephes of the world.

 

There have been many great teachers of the world, and it is all too common to see these gurus trying to inject comedy into their lectures. In fact there is a whole school of traditional spirituality based around the "koan" or sharing of a kind of "spiritual joke" that is supposed to help a student experience Satori or enlightenment when he finally "gets it" after focusing his attention on it for long periods of time.

Almost always these wise men fail at comedy, and likewise comedians fail at apprehending and sharing wisdom... but the unique style of these boys' comedy lends me to think that perhaps they, for whatever reason, are blessed with both the intelligence and comedic wit that is needed to deliver both wisdom and humour together.

Also very curious is that they have found each other, two unique talents together, and lucky for humanity they have a medium through which they can communicate with the world.

 

While poking fun at reality shows, which have become a central focus of mass western culture, and the "talent" that populates them, has provided illumination for some and catharsis for others... perhaps it is good that they are creating a new show.

Im looking forward to what it may be, and am eager to see what they come up with.

Reality shows held their interest, perhaps because of the inherent comedic drama of these ridiculous shows, and that became this podcast. I wonder what it is that will spark these boy's attention and focus for the next show.

To stay in theme with this post, Reality Shows and their participants held their attention because of comedy... another thing that holds human interest is "meaning". What one finds meaningful. Could it be that this is the impetus for their next show?

Meaning? What they consider most meaningful in their lives, or life itself?

I personally hope so.

:)

 

However in saying this there is a large part of me that is upset that this show is ending.

I was in both the insight and catharsis category of listener as i was learning about the industry and human behaviour (usually how NOT to act) as well as gaining both relief and enjoyment from listening to these great men making fun of all the people on Reality Shows are being shoved into my face by almost every other form of media which do so while exclaiming how pretty and happy and rich and famous and better then you they are.

Tell me again 50 different magazines how many millions of dollars Kardashian got paid for her wedding photos, or how i can do my makeup to be as beautiful as Paris Hilton, while i struggle to find the money to pay for the store brand milk and bread at my local supermarket!

Hearing two good men, among the greatest (for reasons i have just explained), tear these people down, and doing so in such a light, happy, ego-less, kind hearted, and fuckin funny way; really brought me joy.

I will miss the show.

If i were greedy i would ask the boys to do BOTH shows each week... :P

 

Great job Sean Clements and Heyes Davenport, cant wait to hear your next podcast!

And big thanks for the shout out on the last episode! :D

(Ged is pronounced "Jed"... some people say it the way you did with the hard G if they read it. Not sure if you knew that or not... i have heard you reading commercials so i cant really tell if you knew that already) ;)

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What the heck is going on over at Earwolf? First Scott Anchorman lets the talant take summer off to go hob-nob with their celeb friends and now he lets you walk away from the funniest podcast ever!!

 

Anyhoo, Wasn't there already a podcast on Earwolf that gave people advice on making it in Hollywood?

 

(You guys really are the best and I guess I will (begrudingly) listen to your next podcast and somehow try to independently formulate my own opinion on reality tv)

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I threw my back out yesterday (I am oldx1000) so it was not very nice of Sean to say "Toby Keith Cool" on this episode. I laughed really hard, which made my back feel terrible. But on this, the day of your podcast's funeral, I will kindly forgive and forget. Hayes said something really funny too, but I forget what. Maybe if you said my name with gusto, the way Sean did, I would've remembered.

 

I'm so glad you had Lauren on your last show. She is hilarious. And OITNB is actually a really good show. And, guess what, it's not canceling itself and starting anew to appease the "sheeples" (thanks for the cool new word, Jimmy Rustles).

 

I hope we can all remain friends through this. I love you guys and I will really hate watching reality shows knowing I won't get to hear your thoughts on them. That means you guys in the forums too. Even you, Erika. To borrow a line from my favorite movie, To Wong Foo Bruce Reid Robinson II Thanks For Everything Toby Keith Sweat, "C'mere ya big lug".

 

Chanson and Not the Narnold, I think I'll miss you most of all.

 

"I gotta go. Bye." - Merritt Wever

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Yeah VB you and Chanson are my boys, I mean I followed you on twitter so I can stay connected but I have no way to talk to Chanson

 

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Andy, Vibes?

 

Hayes and Sean messaged me that the real reason they had to cancel the show was because I still haven't seen Vibes sorry everyone

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Yeah VB you and Chanson are my boys, I mean I followed you on twitter so I can stay connected but I have no way to talk to Chanson

 

I take the Jason Mantzoukas philosophy on Twitter... That it's evil and particularly pernicious because of the way it harnesses narcissism and the constant need to feel "connected" to everyone all the fucking time and uses the confluence of these two powerful forces to coerce even the brightest people into voluntarily giving away their personal right to privacy so that their data can be sold and profited on by people who have no business selling or profiting from it to other people who only want to help you meet hot singles in your area and/or make your dick bigger.

 

It could also be the reason why I'm single (...ladies?) and why, not to brag (Valerie Bryant), I have an exceptionally (like, medically interesting) small penis (...ladies?).

 

I only say that because some of my friends work there and have confirmed to me that this is, in fact, the case. Google is also a clusterfuck of even more epic proportions, but Google doesn't try to make me follow #celebs who I #don'tfuckingcareabout, so I say no harm no foul.

 

PS-My aggression may or may not be related to the fact that I'm watching the season finale of The Challenge right now... While playing Grand Theft Auto V... It's been a good week.

 

#TeamWes&CT

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But how else can I send Sean and Hayes naked pictures of myself? Apparently its looked down on, on these forums anyways.

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PS - Hey, Hayesean, can you make sure to give us a heads-up about when/what day your new podcast is gonna launch?

 

I just wanna make sure I'm getting in on this one on day one so that I can speak to newcomers on the forum with contempt from the get go. On The Reality SHOW Show I had to earn that privilege by posting way way way more than anyone else. On your new show, I just wanna be entitled to be contemptful from day one.

 

Thanks

Love You, Bye.

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Hey Gang,

 

The forums have been so nice (according to Blenjamin. I haven't had time to read them). There will be no long wait for the new show. We are recording our first interview on Monday and hopefully the full episode should come out Tuesday. Feel free to leave any questions about the entertainment industry in this forum until the new forum gets set up. We are here to educate.

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How can I break into showbiz? I dont want to move to either LA or New York, they both seem awful, and I'm not really talented. Can they film a sitcom around me? I hear those pay well.

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How can I break into showbiz? I dont want to move to either LA or New York, they both seem awful, and I'm not really talented. Can they film a sitcom around me? I hear those pay well.

 

There's always Vancouver, Seattle's Blade Runner dystopian futurism-inspired, yoga pant-wearing neighbor to the North.

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Hey Gang... Feel free to leave any questions about the entertainment industry in this forum until the new forum gets set up. We are here to educate.

 

Which part of the industry is easiest to break into/the most desperate for new blood? Acting? Scoring/Music & Audio Stuff? Directing? Writing? Editing? Stuntmen? Visual FX guy/Pyrotechnic? Seriously. I like the idea of being a success in the Entertainment 'biz, but don't want to put any more effort into it than I absolutely have to. Should I just wait for another Writer's Strike and scab?

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Hey Gang,

 

The forums have been so nice (according to Blenjamin. I haven't had time to read them). There will be no long wait for the new show. We are recording our first interview on Monday and hopefully the full episode should come out Tuesday. Feel free to leave any questions about the entertainment industry in this forum until the new forum gets set up. We are here to educate.

 

Can I send you my demo? Or do you need me to be an intern even though I'm all the way across the country?

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Oh Em Gosh I have so many questions!

 

Question 1: Do celebs and Hollywood insiders only date other celebs and Hollywood insiders?

 

Question 2: Are all the celebs and Hollywood insiders friends with each other?

 

Question 3: Can you introduce me to Harry Styles from One Direction?

 

Question 4: How do you get inspired for your roles?

 

Question 5: Is craft services awesome?

 

Question 6: Can you introduce me to Nick Kroll?

 

Question 7: Are any/all of you Scientologists?

 

Question 8: Can you introduce me to John Mulaney?

 

Question 9: Is Kim Kardashian nice in person?

 

Question 10: Can you introduce me to Jason Mantzoukas?

 

Question 11: How many members of The Challenge cast (and extended Real World/Road Rules universe) have you guys met/slept with (I assume it's one in the same right?)?

 

Question 12: How hard is it to adopt kids from Malawi?

 

Question 13: Can you introduce me to Paul Scheer?

 

Question 14: Is it hard being famous?

 

Question 15: Will you guys hand my screenplay to Spielberg when you get a chance?

 

Question 16: What are your opinions about the conflict in Syria vis-a-vis aggressive overtures from the Obama Administration and Russian insistance on a diplomatic solution? Is there a policy solution that has yet to be explored by the administration that could lead to a peaceful outcome and the ouster of the current Assad regime without backlashes against the Alawite and Christian minorities or the backing of extremist groups? Do you think we should be using such strong rhetoric after what happened in Iraq and Afghanistan and would a conflict with Syria lead to another decade-long American campaign to quell a civil war within the country or could we launch joint operations with our NATO ally Turkey and contain the regime enough to bring them to the negotiating table?

 

Question 17: Is it fun living in Los Angeles?

 

Thanks!

Love You, Bye.

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Talking about the process could be cool to hear? How do you really get into the 'funny zone'.

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Talking about the process could be cool to hear? How do you really get into the 'funny zone'.

 

That would be cool, but I really want to hear some Hollywood insiders talk about policy options for the Syria conflict...

 

Also, I couldn't help but notice that Hayes was the body double for Miley's Wrecking Ball video, maybe he could talk about what that was like as well.

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Hey y'all,

Some of you probably noticed there was no new show up today. I'm sorry for lying. We did record a really great interview with a very exciting guest and the first episode will be out either next Tuesday or the one after. There are just a few boring technical things to figure out prior to the official launch and then we can start having fun again. Thanks for your patience. Can't wait to see you all on a shiny new forum very soon.

 

-Hayes

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Its ok Sean Hayes I know you're busy with your new television show on National Basic Central, Sean Meets World. Let's get the Facebook page some more likes though. www.Facebook.com/hollywoodhandbook

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