Any Law and Order: SVU episode

[nrkist 71]

 

I prefer to make jokes at the beginning of "Law & Order" episodes, when some random bystander happens upon a corpse. Like some people are going through a hotel food cart scavenging, and they come upon a body: "We just found the meat!"

 

I like the episodes that start with a real heavy-handed red-herring that's unconnected to the actual crime. Like two douchers in the bathroom of a club chuckling and high-fiving each other over lines like:

 

"I'm TOTALLY going to rape MY chick tonight, what about you Tony?"

 

"Heh, whether she likes it or not, Bob. Know what I'm sayin...?<pointless wink>"

 

"HAHA! Ah, Tony, you are priceless..."

 

Smash cut to crime scene the next morning. Over the course of 60 minutes, this completely unrelated, undiscovered, and unsolved crime is never mentioned again.

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

 

I like the episodes that start with a real heavy-handed red-herring that's unconnected to the actual crime. Like two douchers in the bathroom of a club chuckling and high-fiving each other over lines like:

 

"I'm TOTALLY going to rape MY chick tonight, what about you Tony?"

 

"Heh, whether she likes it or not, Bob. Know what I'm sayin...?<pointless wink>"

 

"HAHA! Ah, Tony, you are priceless..."

 

Smash cut to crime scene the next morning. Over the course of 60 minutes, this completely unrelated, undiscovered, and unsolved crime is never mentioned again.

That makes me think of the episodes where they think they've caught their guy like 20 minutes in. I don't watch a lot of "SVU", but the ones I've seen don't seem to have much in the way of intertwining storylines or multiple unrelated cases going on, so when they've caught the person by the end of the third segment, you know it's not over. Also, these guys seem to bring in the wrong suspect a LOT.

[wakefresh 689]

That makes me think of the episodes where they think they've caught their guy like 20 minutes in. I don't watch a lot of "SVU", but the ones I've seen don't seem to have much in the way of intertwining storylines or multiple unrelated cases going on, so when they've caught the person by the end of the third segment, you know it's not over. Also, these guys seem to bring in the wrong suspect a LOT.

 

if they get the person in the first 20 minutes, then you know it is gonna be a "legal drama" episode where everyone gets to have a philosophical monologue about a X subject. Those are the most boring and the also the most infuriating because that's when the double standard of Asst DA Hotty Hotpants is very clear.

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

 

if they get the person in the first 20 minutes, then you know it is gonna be a "legal drama" episode where everyone gets to have a philosophical monologue about a X subject. Those are the most boring and the also the most infuriating because that's when the double standard of Asst DA Hotty Hotpants is very clear.

"Legal drama" episode? I thought that that's what the other 12 Law and Orders were for I thought this one was just about how jizz will end up in the weirdest places and come back to haunt you every time.

[sillstaw 414]

Incidentally, on the off chance that they actually did a "L&O: SVU" episode, the only guest I think would be acceptable* is John Mulaney:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GLkkYcVVYsQ

 

* Mainly because, since I think they don't want 'characters' as guest, Paul F. Tompkins' Ice-T voice wouldn't be doable.

[PhillipMedoc 648]

Mulaney's Comedy Central special is awesome; I love that bit. He's been on a couple of Comedy Bean Bag episodes, but other than a You Made It Weird, I haven't heard him on anything else. I imagine SNL keeps him pretty busy.

[neilly 105]

I just loved that almost every time someone was walking in or out of a courtroom, there was always some deranged dad/mom/brother/sister/girlfriend/boyfriend/etc/etc/ who brandished a FIREARM (in a courthouse mind you) to take out the rapist/molester/pornographer/murderer/etc./etc. Whenever my wife and I watched SVU and these scenes WERE ABOUT TO HAPPEN, I'd yell out, "HE/SHE'S GOT A GUN!" The percentages of my sagacity were quite astonishing.

 

I always wondered about the security measures these courthouses had in place?!?

[wakefresh 689]

I just loved that almost every time someone was walking in or out of a courtroom, there was always some deranged dad/mom/brother/sister/girlfriend/boyfriend/etc/etc/ who brandished a FIREARM (in a courthouse mind you) to take out the rapist/molester/pornographer/murderer/etc./etc. Whenever my wife and I watched SVU and these scenes WERE ABOUT TO HAPPEN, I'd yell out, "HE/SHE'S GOT A GUN!" The percentages of my sagacity were quite astonishing.

 

I always wondered about the security measures these courthouses had in place?!?

 

There were a couple of times where someone got shot on the courthouse steps because the writers said, "fuck it! I wrote 60 pages" and didn't want to write an actual ending.

[nrkist 71]

 

There were a couple of times where someone got shot on the courthouse steps because the writers said, "fuck it! I wrote 60 pages" and didn't want to write an actual ending.

 

And then it cuts to the entire SVU standing on the steps of the courthouse shaking their heads amidst the confused aftermath: "Why does it always have to go down like this?". And then I think, "Yeah, why DOES it always have to go down like this? In fact, why does it ever go down like this? F U SVU."

[seanotron 2307]

WHAT IS HAPPENING?

 

http://omg.yahoo.com/news/richard-belzer-leaves-law-order-svu-sgt-john-131500714-us-weekly.html

[nrkist 71]

A younger, jewier, Billy Munch, joins the team to fill the vacuum left by Belzer/Munch's departure. The ethnic roster once again at capacity, the world of SVU finds equilibrium within it's broad brush-strokes of mildly offensive stereotypes.

[RyanSz 3140]

Holy crap this show is over the top in its preachiness. An episode I saw a couple weeks back had Lea Thompson trying to steal a couple's child because she thought it was her missing daughter. She has a P.I. do some digging and he finds that there is a familial match between the girl and Thompson. After she is arrested for actually kidnapping the kid, the detectives find out that she and the other woman had used in vitro fertilization and that one of Thompson's eggs had been implanted into the other woman, thus giving them both a child with the shared DNA, to which Benson says, with a straight face, that this doctor committed genetic rape. My head just about exploded after hearing the amount of WTF with that one.

[Rattrap007 52]

My favorite SVU eps are the ones where the writers want to make a social message about something other than sex crimes, so they hamstring a rape or molestation into what is really a diatribe about big pharmaceutical companies or newspaper publishers, or whatever.

 

Stabler: "This guy just raped over 100 women and animals."

 

Benson: "Why?"

 

Stabler: "He says he took Cialis for erectile dysfunction and it made him extra horny."

 

Benson: "Rape is not about sex." [insert rape stats from FBI crime report]

 

Stabler: "Then he's probably lying!" [rages and beat the man in custody]

 

Munch: [conspiracy theory about Cialis]

 

Finn: "I'm going to give you the black perspective..."

 

Hot Asst DA: "I'm going to give the rapist 30 days suspended sentence. The real criminals are the makers of Cialis. Why don't they have a warning on the box about this?"

 

Dear god YES!! They will turn any episode into a political soapbox and skip the crime. I know one that I saw and my jaw dropped at it. Basic summary:

 

Car races up to hospital and dumps out young tween boy with knife wound to the back and drives off. Kid is now paralized from waist down. He attends a Catholic school. They find out that the person who stabbed him is a much younger girl. He had been making fun of her because her mom is a lesbian. He cut her hair to a boyish look and she grabbed the scissors after he was done and stabbed him in the back. Her older half brother (who lives with other relatives and goes to same school) drove the kid to the hospital with a teachers car. The girl is made fun of for having gay parents while attending a CATHOLIC SCHOOL!! The mom wants the girl to go there for the education.

 

Then it becomes an issue of parental rights. The biological mom is dying in the hospital and the other mom allowed the kid to be interviewed. When it comes back to bite her she claims no legal guardianship of the kid so it can't be used against her. Then she fight for custody against the girls biological grandparents. They refuse visitation and such and when uestioned they say something about the gay people are horrible parents or something. Forget exactly what it was but it was mildly against gays. The COPS ask where they heard this and they say from their lawyer, The cops pull out Pro-gay pamphlets and the grandparents immediaetly take to this like it is fascinating and they were wrong the whole time. The cops then arrest the lawer on "hate crimes". End of episode

 

So let's look at it like this. Little boy is paralized. Little girl is not punished. Stepmom tries to manipulate the system to protect girl. Biological mom dies. Girl is placed with grandarents. They make very mild anti gay remark and are quickly converted by a piece of paper. Lawyer is arrested for handing out propaganda..

[RyanSz 3140]

 

Dear god YES!! They will turn any episode into a political soapbox and skip the crime. I know one that I saw and my jaw dropped at it. Basic summary:

 

Car races up to hospital and dumps out young tween boy with knife wound to the back and drives off. Kid is now paralized from waist down. He attends a Catholic school. They find out that the person who stabbed him is a much younger girl. He had been making fun of her because her mom is a lesbian. He cut her hair to a boyish look and she grabbed the scissors after he was done and stabbed him in the back. Her older half brother (who lives with other relatives and goes to same school) drove the kid to the hospital with a teachers car. The girl is made fun of for having gay parents while attending a CATHOLIC SCHOOL!! The mom wants the girl to go there for the education.

 

Then it becomes an issue of parental rights. The biological mom is dying in the hospital and the other mom allowed the kid to be interviewed. When it comes back to bite her she claims no legal guardianship of the kid so it can't be used against her. Then she fight for custody against the girls biological grandparents. They refuse visitation and such and when uestioned they say something about the gay people are horrible parents or something. Forget exactly what it was but it was mildly against gays. The COPS ask where they heard this and they say from their lawyer, The cops pull out Pro-gay pamphlets and the grandparents immediaetly take to this like it is fascinating and they were wrong the whole time. The cops then arrest the lawer on "hate crimes". End of episode

 

So let's look at it like this. Little boy is paralized. Little girl is not punished. Stepmom tries to manipulate the system to protect girl. Biological mom dies. Girl is placed with grandarents. They make very mild anti gay remark and are quickly converted by a piece of paper. Lawyer is arrested for handing out propaganda..

 

Wasn't that the episode where Kathy Griffin was a whacked out lesbian lobbyist who tried to make out with Benson and then was revealed to be bisexual and that she hid it because she felt being bi was worse for the cause than being completely gay?

[sillstaw 414]

Wasn't that the episode where Kathy Griffin was a whacked out lesbian lobbyist who tried to make out with Benson and then was revealed to be bisexual and that she hid it because she felt being bi was worse for the cause than being completely gay?

 

I recall seeing that last bit of this episode. As I recall, she was being booed by lesbians who thought she was betraying them by being with a guy. (Which apparently isn't an unheard of sentiment in real life, sadly.)

[Rattrap007 52]

Not sure what one you two are talking about. The one I mentioned is called "Alien".

[RyanSz 3140]

Not sure what one you two are talking about. The one I mentioned is called "Alien".

You are correct the episode I was thinking of was called "P.C." but that's the crazy thing about this show, all the episodes eventually blend together.

[wakefresh 689]

 

Wasn't that the episode where Kathy Griffin was a whacked out lesbian lobbyist who tried to make out with Benson and then was revealed to be bisexual and that she hid it because she felt being bi was worse for the cause than being completely gay?

 

That ep was funny because Benson asked Griffin's character if she wanted to order take out, and then Kathy Griffin leans in for a kiss (and grope?). Benson pulls back and is like, "whoa! that's not on the menu."

 

I laughed and laughed. Her pussy wasn't on the menu, guys....to eat...

[RyanSz 3140]

Okay they really need to do the Paula Deen/Trayvon episode back to back with the upcoming one where they lampoon the Duggar family. They also need to include the one with John Stamos where he got a bunch of chicks pregnant because he believed it was human nature to spawn as much as possible. He was also wealthy and taking care of each kid financially but the detectives still got on a high horse because he was just knocking chicks up, which last time I checked wasn't a crime as long as he wasn't maliciously spreading a disease like AIDS, which he wasn't. This is also similar to the Vince Vaughn movie Delivery Man where the sperm he sold to a bank led to hundreds of kids, and people were INCENSED that someone could donate so much. Mind you, Vaughn's character had absolutely NOTHING to do with the selection process, but somehow he's still an asshole on the level of Hitler.