Episode 84 — No Holds Barred: LIVE!

[JulyDiaz 2797]

Are you ready to enter a state of HULKAMANIA brother? Recorded LIVE at Largo in Los Angeles, Thomas Lennon joins Paul, June, & Jason to discuss Hulk Hogan in No Holds Barred! They’ll cover everything from dookie pants, to fighting guns with pies, to the dwarf in a cage, to jerking off push ups, to Zeus only speaking twice in the whole movie. Plus, audience Q&A opens up a discussion on the flirty diner waitress, the onscreen romantic relationship of Rip & Sam, and the absence of law enforcement in the film.

[Bright Anderson 132]

I'm only 25 minutes in and I think we might have the best episode of the year.

[klemjohansen 748]

Back in the day, every walk in the woods was like Porno Easter.

[jeffdacock 64]

Fuck youuuuuuu guys for making me watch this movie. It feels like the whole thing runs in slow motion.

[klemjohansen 748]

June as a wrestling ref: "Hey, that hold is not going to fly here."

[mattman92ish 823]

Ahh this feels good Its been a while since ive heard this glorious cast.. and Lennon too!?? thank you!!

[HotSaucerman 2051]

I haven't seen this movie since I was a little kid. A little kid that was still into Hogan. I'm watching it right now.... it is HORRRRIBLE!! Its the least watchable of the Hogan movies.

[wyldride 285]

Zeus is more like the villain's "dragon" than the primary villain. Basically he gets as much dialogue as Darth Maul in the Star Wars prequels does. and basically has the same role.

[justinmh05 1968]

I haven't seen this movie since I was a little kid. A little kid that was still into Hogan. I'm watching it right now.... it is HORRRRIBLE!! Its the least watchable of the Hogan movies.

 

I'm sort of surprised by how many people have posted that they hated watching this movie.

 

To me, this was the most fun HDTGM movie since Over the Top. Maybe it's because I love Stallone's 80s movies? Looking at this as basically a rip off of Rocky IV - it was really just a lot of fun for me to watch.

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

Zeus is more like the villain's "dragon" than the primary villain. Basically he gets as much dialogue as Darth Maul in the Star Wars prequels does. and basically has the same role.

How great would it have been if he ALSO had the voice of Peter Serafinowicz?

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

Funny you should mention just how close the one redneck had to get to the two execs to check out their dicks, and that he must have bad vision or something, because that's ABSOLUTELY TRUE. That was Stan Hansen, and while he works super stiff to begin with, he's also pretty much blind without his glasses, so he can barely see out there when he's completely pummeling dudes.

[literallygarbage 40]

This was LITERALLY my favorite movie when I was kid. I was a dumb dumb.

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

I don't know if anyone else out there checks out the OSW (Old School Wrestling) Review video podcasts, but here's their "No Holds Barred" episode from a couple years back. They did reviews of every PPV of the "Hulkamania" era (1985-1993 or so) and have since moved on to other things, including an episode that covers every WWE Films production released through about a year ago. They put out a new episode every month or so, so check them out!

[brandenhaize 51]

There was a huge plot of undeveloped desert landscape near my childhood home, and I used to play there all the time during the day. At night it was a big homeless hangout. I used to hunt for porno magazines (and even porno newspapers) all the time. I found tons of material I'd then horde for myself. I used to love that place as a kid. Now that I'm an adult, however, I'm totally disgusted with myself (for having touched that filthy crap. I'm lucky I didn't get some kind of disease).

[jughead 189]

Hands down(or no holds barred), the best episode ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

The "No Holds Barred"-inspired t-shirt of Gregory Iron, "The Handicapped Hero", a pretty awesome guy that wrestles a lot in the Pittsburgh and Cleveland areas.

 

[AsobiDatura 0]

How come did no one mention that the little person in the cage in the bar scene is Peter Dinklage in an early unaccredited role...

[slinky 147]

I'm sad that we're only getting new episodes once a month for a while but this was worth the wait. This movie was amazing and totally worth watching (as was Mr. Nanny) and this was a great episode. Can't wait for the next one!

[Louisjab 50]

Terrific episode. Too bad they ran out of time. By the way, the episode is longer than the runtime of the movie (93 min.) and yet, they still ran out of time. This could have been a two-parter if they didn't have another show after.

 

Lots to say about this movie. Also, I won't be using any character's name except for Rip and Zeus, I just don't remember them.

 

Joan Severance is not employed by Rip's TV network, she works for his agent company. And Kurt Fuller owns her because the network sent tons of business to this agency and her not doing his bidding would cost her employer multiple clients.

 

I think the thing with Zeus' unibrow is that it's supposed to be some kind of stylized Z.

 

Kurt Fuller offers Rip a blank check during his pitch to bring him to the network. A blank check! What if Rip wrote 100 billion dollars on that check (this is 1989 dollars)? Is the network bankrupted right away?

 

Also Kurt Fuller wants Rip because he's the #1 thing on TV. We're led to believe that every one of his fights is more or less like the Super Bowl. It doesn't work, then he creates the Battle of the Tough Guys and it becomes a sensation, an overnight #1 in the ratings. He already won. For $100k plus production costs, he created a ratings juggernaut, then spends the rest of his time trying to destroy Rip, which had to be #2 on the ratings now.

 

Battle of the Tough Guys is the #1 thing on TV, yet no one is interested in seeing it live. Even at the final fight in which every spectator wears either a prom dress or a tuxedo, there is no more than a few hundred people. In fairness, it might be because they might end up as collateral damage. Assisting to this fight could cost you your life.

 

Mark Pellegrino's friend totally gives him up. They go scouting the Zeus fight, Kurt Fuller intercepts them as they leave and says something like "I see we're converting Rip's fans, great". They could leave right there totally unarmed! But his friend has to say that he's Rip's brother, which put him in danger. Mark Pellegrino end up paralyzed, and no one is mad at the friend.

 

After the attempted rape on Joan Severance, Rip leaves her there, goes after the guy, who by now, is fleeing and not a threat anymore for 10 minutes in an elaborate sequence that includes crossing a street with traffic at full speed twice and then he returns to her and ask "Are you OK?"

 

Rip does the jerking off push ups at this incredible speed, then proceeds to jump into the bed all sweaty from the exercise without even a shower.

 

Zeus' training room is covered with posters of Rip, yet he also have a training room with a projection of himself in the mirror. Just to make it clear, he trains against an image of himself, but with posters of his rival on the walls. Shouldn't it be the opposite?

[JasonSchneiderman 0]

You guys danced around it a little with all the superhero references, but the WWF didn't actually own the name "Hulk Hogan" outright at this time--they were paying Marvel Comics to use the "Hulk" part. (His real name is Terry Bollea, which you probably know; the weird thing is that the "Hogan" part was intended to suggest he was an Irish ethnic hero like Bruno Sammartino was to Italian folks.) It's likely that the WWF wasn't allowed to use it in a motion picture, hence the Rip.

 

Also -- I think the "take... a leak" was meant to be some kind of irony; you might expect that to be "take a memo" or "take notes" or "take dictation." Instead -- well, you know.

[starri 116]

I usually listen to podcasts on the subway, and so after just the first 30 minutes, I'm fairly certain all of New York must think I'm insane because I was laughing so hard. I don't know if anything since either "Over the Top" or "From Justin to Kelly" has hit me in quite the same spot.

 

They think I'm crazy, but it was so worth it, brother.

[Smigg 1488]

I've noticed one thing. This entire movie seems to just be Vince taking a shot at Ted Turner.

 

Ted Turner bought Jim Crockett promotions in 1988, and rechristened it World Championship Wrestling. The first thing Ted did was call Vince and and say "Hey, Vince! I'm in the Wrasslin' business!" and Vince said "Good for you, Ted, I'm in the Entertainment business"

 

Now, Ted Turner also owns TNT, TBS, CNN among others, and Wrestling was their highest rated show.

 

The movie came out in 1989, where the evil network head started a wrestling promotion, setting his sights on becoming the number 1 wrestling promotion.

 

The ironic thing is, Ted Turner managed to lure Hogan into his company in 1994.

[starri 116]

Can I just say that I hope Paul and June post a picture of the Jason "Give Me Your Baby" onesie?

[ChadShonk 3]

My mother took me and my friends to see this movie for my 13th birthday. We lived in a small town, so we had to drive 45 minutes, several towns over, to the closest mall to see it. If you guys were confused watching it, imagine it through the eyes of a child. Thank you and fuck you for making me relive this trauma.

 

Side note: My wife once walked in on Hulk Hogan fucking a big-haired flight attendant in the women's restroom at the Dallas-Fort Worth airport. His pants down, her bent over the sink. It scarred her for a very long time, leaving her with a crippling fear of both Hogan and Aquanet.

 

Great episode, Brothers.

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

Kurt Fuller offers Rip a blank check during his pitch to bring him to the network. A blank check! What if Rip wrote 100 billion dollars on that check (this is 1989 dollars)? Is the network bankrupted right away?

This is bordering on science fiction, and more implausible than ANYTHING else in the movie, as Hogan's never been one to turn down a payday. Also, who knows how much that network even has? At the very least, Hogan could have written TOO high of an amount and stuck them with a $20 returned check fee. Kurt Fuller should totally be made the fictional figurehead of the new WWE Network.